Thursday, May 5, 2011

Super Terrific Happy Hour!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!  Here are some Cinco de Mayo Drunks for everyone to enjoy as we celebrate our Mexican Pride!







-Big Ran

Fiesta!

I know he's from Equador, not Mexico, but really, what's the difference? The song is Spanish and we're celebrating Cinco de Mayo here at "The Takeover" and I'm sure Gerarado would be honored that we're including him. So everyone, get out your leather coats (with nothing underneath), shine up your dancing shoes, and get ready to bust a move to one of the most wildly popular songs of 1991.



Couple of thoughts:

First off, this video is absolutely amazing. Please note that this is the original video, not the American version that featured much longer hair, a DENIM jacket, a crocodile pool float, and some English verses (I've posted the link to that one below).  There's just SO much going on it's unreal. Who came up with this story line? Hey, let's have an Ecuadorian rapper dressed in super tight jeans, cowboy boots, and a leather jacket over a bare chest alternate between dancing with two of his amigos in a parking lot and grooving on a beach with crowds of brightly dressed women. I don't know who came up with it, but they are awesome, regardless. The video is basically 4 or 5 scenes that rotate for the entire length of the video, with absolutely atrocious lip-synching, so I'd like to make some observations:
  1. The buildup for the first 10 seconds of the song. Gerardo and his homies crouched down, back to the camera, ready to pounce as soon as the beat drops.
  2. Dios Mio! Look at his backup dancers! Not only are they both sporting Dirty Sanchez 'staches, but they each have a MULLET! One is all business, corralled in a ponytail while the other is more casual, flowing in the breeze from the industrial fans that were surely on set during this video shoot. Not only that, but they are COMPLETELY synchronized. This is like Christmas morning! 
  3. 21 second mark, obligatory shots of brightly clothed women grooving. *Side note: much like "Party All the Time", these women are also anti-bra. Also, I find myself worrying that I'm going to see parts of their body that I shouldn't.
  4. Just pause the video at the 35 second mark. What is going on? Why is that woman up in that concrete structure? Is G-Dog doing the running man? How happy is Dirty Sanchez #1? Everyone seems to be doing their own thing. Over-stimulation at it's finest.
  5. 55 second mark. Ummmm...is that Gerardo in swim trunks? And is what he's simulating on that woman even allowed on television? No wonder why my mother was always trying to stop me from watching MTV. 
  6. 1:06 mark: Wow, what a trio. I'm wondering if the hombre in the middle with the trumpet has his head down with his hat blocking his face from the camera because he's humiliated. He shouldn't be, this is the best day ever for him and he doesn't even know it yet.
  7. 1:43 mark: Uh-oh. Gerardo was wil'in out with one senorita and another appears to literally jump into the frame. Are they about to have a dance off?
  8. 1:52 mark: There is a God, and He has a KILLER sense of humor. Look at the crotch thrusting as he's crouched down. Wonder how the woman on the right feels about him caressing her leg when he's clearly more into himself than her.
  9. 2:12 mark: Quick outfit change, white pants, but obviously still topless. Also, is that Saddam Hussein to the left in his younger days? Around 2:17 we see a Gerardo sang'wich being served. He doesn't care about the ladies on either side of him. Again, he's really taken by himself.
  10. *Side note: The woman in the pink getup, she's an exception to the rule, she's definitely either wearing a padded bra OR she has MONSTER implants. Either way, I'm sure they pale in comparison to Gerardo's pecs (in his own mind anyway)
  11. 3:03 mark: Again, what the hell is happening? What are those women wearing in their hair? If they get caught in the industrial fans, someone might be decapitated or at least scalped. ALSO, the style of the bottoms they are wearing would be classified by Victoria's Secret as a "HIGH LEG BRIEF". Sexy.  And look at G-Dog's curly locks flowing now that he lost his bandanna!
  12. 3:08 mark: Is that a church in the background? Suddenly, I think God might not be happy.
  13. 3:22 mark: And this is how Gerardo might end up as a level 3 sex offender. Although, this woman was stoic, leading me to think she may have been a mannequin. And, what is on the top of his left arm? What IS that? A nicotine patch?
  14. 3:33 mark: New scene. We haven't seen this before. Clearly things are wrapping up for the day a la playa and he's getting ready for a fancy (but still shirtless) night out on the down with these two ladies. (They will spend the evening talking about his aversion to shirts and his killer pecs).
  15. 3:38 mark: They are breaking it DOWN (or having seizures, I really can't tell) and of course, 4 seconds later we are blessed with an even closer crotch shot. 
  16. 3:45 mark: Saddam's brother is the unsung hero of this video. Look at him dj'ing, topless, but with that ginormous hat. I'm just happy that he's protecting his delicate facial skin from el sol.
  17. 3:52 mark: Oh shit! He's serious now! The prized leather coat just got ripped off and tossed to the ground!
  18. 4:06 mark: Look at the pride in his posture as he looks to the left, surveying his kingdom and all he has accomplished in the past 4 minutes. Again, I know he's Ecuadorian, but you KNOW the Mexicans want to claim him as their own.


VH1/MTV Version: Seems like a slightly different story line, and obviously he'd been working on his hair for a while prior to this taping.


HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO PEEPS!

-KC Jones

Sexy Sax Man Taking You to Lunchtime



I literally laughed for five straight minutes.  Which came first though?



-Big Ran

Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody!


From Wikipedia:  

Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for "fifth of May") is a holiday held on May 5. It is celebrated nationwide in the United States and regionally in Mexico, primarily in the state ofPuebla.[1][2][3][4] The date is observed in the United States as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride,[5] and to commemorate the cause of freedom and democracy during the first years of the American Civil War.[6] In the state of Puebla, the date is observed to commemorate the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza SeguĂ­n.[7][8] Contrary to widespread popular belief, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico's Independence Day,[9][10] the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico, which occurs on September 16th.

You really do learn something new everyday.  We could be having a bender of epic proportions on September 16th and 17th as Mexican independence day runs right into St. Practice Day/Halfway to St. Patrick's Day/Halfway to KC Jones' birfday.  So, don't forget to celebrate your Mexican pride today (I'm looking at you, middle America) as well as really getting into it on September 16th.  

The more you know...



-Big Ran