Sunday, January 8, 2012

Indecent Exposure

I've been meaning to blog about this since I heard about it last week, but unfortunately, my job actually got in the way of my weekday blogging time. The nerve!

Anyway, not sure if anyone else has heard about this, but apparently Dennis Rodman, aka "The Worm", aka, The Most Disgusting Human Being in the Universe (I'm trademarking that as my own) has moved on from "Celebrity Rehab" with Dr. Drew back to basketball. No, don't call it a comeback (shout out to LL Cool J), he's not returning to the NBA courts, but he's apparently attempting to form a topless basketball team which he will coach. And yes, for women. And yes again, you read that correctly.

Don't believe me? Here you go, courtesy of CBS Sports.com:

Dennis Rodman is bouncing back into basketball — this time as a coach for a topless women’s team he’s launching for Headquarters Gentlemen’s Club, the New York mammary mecca. The NBA bad boy dreamed up the team after hearing that rival strip joint Rick’s Cabaret had launched a league with former Atlanta Hawk Spud Webb, who runs the Texas Legends, an NBA Development League team. Rodman is even challenging Rick’s Cabaret’s topless team to a charity game.
An ugly man, an even uglier woman.
“I don’t know too many men that don’t like a good-looking woman running up and down around the court,” Rodman told Page Six.

After finding out about this, I had a couple of questions/comments:

1. Is anyone else surprised by this? Right, I didn't think so.

2. Honestly, what would inspire a woman to participate in something like this? I mean, obviously it already exists as there's competition for it as stated in the article. I think Big Ran once referred to females with daddy issues in an earlier post...I guess that's the same thing here.

3. Sports bras exist out of necessity. Physically speaking, I'm guessing the two types of women who will be involved in this league will be those who are busted, fake, porn star types and those who are just busted and saggy. The former, having been surgically enhanced, will not need the sports bra as much as the latter. This is a National Geographic photo shoot just waiting to happen. I'm also predicting black eyes frequently occurring. I am speaking for most women when I say that I wouldn't be caught dead in public without a bra on, so the LAST thing I'd be doing is running around topless. Gravity is not kind as we all know.

4. Did anyone else notice Spud Webb's name mentioned in this article? Wow. All I can say about that is wow. He always seemed a little skeevy to me, but this is more than I would have taken him for.

5. If the women are very well endowed on top, what if one of the 'girls' is mistaken for a basketball?

6. Remember when he was married to Madonna? Awesome.

7. Given his affinity for cross dressing, what's the over/under on him becoming a player/coach in this league?

Brutal...but sadly, looking better than Madonna.
While I am beyond thrilled that the NBA Lockout is a thing of the past, this news makes me very nervous.

Team Name Suggestion:

1. The Rod's Ballers
2. Big Breasted Ballers
3. The Money Shots

And, finally, I think I just figured out who inspired Danzig's song, "Mother":



-KC Jones