Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Extreme Makeover: North Korea


PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea's heir apparent, Kim Jong Eun, underwent plastic surgery six times to look more like his grandfather, the Communist state's "eternal president" Kim Il Sung, South Korea's Yonhap news agency reported Tuesday.

The mysterious Kim Jong Eun, the youngest son of despot Kim Jong Il, underwent the operations between 2007 and 2010 before he was unveiled as the next-in-line to rule the nuclear-armed rogue nation, the report quoted an activist as saying.

Ha Tae Kyung, the head of Open Radio for North Korea, made the claim at a talk on North Korea's hereditary succession at the Royal United Services Institute in London and said that he was quoting senior North Korean officials.
The short and stocky Kim Jong Eun, who is believed to be in his late 20s, closely resembles both his father and grandfather. But his first appearance last year sparked speculation that plastic surgery may have been required to achieve the likeness.

I think I heard once that the most common cosmetic surgery is a breast reduction.  It actually looks like this dude could use one of those, or at least a bro/manziere.  With that said, you have to appreciate the commitment lil' Kim Jong Eun is showing here.  How many people would be willing to have surgery to look more like their grandfather and father, not many. 

Here's a little Big Ran Fun Fact:  I have been to within about 3 feet of the North Korean boarder.  I was in South Korea for work and went on a tour of the DMZ.  The more you know.  I never got the chance to try their secret micro brew.
  




-Big Ran

A Sad Day in Pittsburgh


Pittsburgh Post Gazette - The city of Pittsburgh will hold a rally at noon Thursday to honor Hines Ward's victory in ABC-TV's "Dancing with the Stars" competition.

The rally will be held in front of the City-County Building on Grant Street.

Mr. Ward and dance partner Kym Johnson will be present.

Fans are encouraged to wear black and gold and bring Terrible Towels to the rally.

"City residents and the Steelers Nation have contacted my office asking for the city to properly thank our hometown hero for once-again shining the spotlight on Pittsburgh," Mayor Luke Ravenstahl said.


In addition, couples are invited to highlight their dancing skills in two-minute YouTube videos for a chance to appear on stage with Mr. Ward and Ms. Johnson. No more than two dancers can appear in the video.

Videos, with the entrants' contact information, must be submitted to CityDWTScontest@gmail.com by 4 p.m. Wednesday.

City officials will pick five videos for posting on the city Facebook page. The three entrants with the most "likes" by 11 a.m. Thursday will be invited on stage for a "dance-off" to be judged by Mr. Ward, Ms. Johnson and Mr. Ravenstahl.

The three finalists will be photographed with Mr. Ward, Ms. Johnson and their Mirror Ball Trophy. Winners of the dance-off will receive autographed Hines Ward jerseys.

In addition, fans who bring non-perishable food items for the Salvation Army can enter a contest with the chance of winning a Terrible Towel signed by Mr. Ward and Ms. Johnson.


Wow.  This is honestly sad.  I always thought it was pathetic when Boston had a rally for Ray Bourque after he won a Stanley Cup with the Colorado Avalanche, but Pittsburgh has taken it to a whole new level.  This is a city who has seen the Pirates win the World Series five times (well, 3 of them were 1960 or earlier and the last was in 1979, so no one under the age of 35 could possibly remember this and I think at this point they have had 20 straight losing seasons), the Penguins just won the Stanley Cup two years ago in 2009 after winning back-to-back in 1991 and 1992, and the Steelers, who are one of the marquee franchises in the NFL, winning the Super Bowl six times including 2005 and 2008.  Its not like they haven't seen success and seen it lately.  I mean, I know they have to live in Pittsburgh and probably all have the black lung, but this is out of control.  I picture Bill Cowher standing there with a single tear streaming down his face in pure unadulterated sadness.  




-Big Ran

PS:  Don't forget your terrible towels.

Peace Be With You....

Well, if you're anything like me, the end of the NBA Season has you depressed and looking for something to fill the void. As I searched for that placeholder, I should have realized that everyone's favorite NBA Citizenship Award winner would definitely do something to make the off-season more interesting.



Yup, that's right, Ron Artest has changed his name to "Metta World Peace". Although we will have to wait until August 26th to find out if the courts will legally recognize this name change request, I have a pretty good feeling it's going to happen.

A Few Questions:
1. When he takes the court next season, what will be on the back of his jersey? "World Peace"? "Peace"?
2. When he gets mouthy, how will the commentators explain it? "World Peace just committed a technical foul".
3. When he is fouled, I can imagine hearing, "A flagrant foul against World Peace".
4. What if he is an All-Star? "World Peace has been selected as a Western Conference All-Star".
5. How will he sign autographs? This is difficult, because his name has been Ron Artest for so long. He might have a hard time transitioning into his new identity...perhaps he'll just start signing by drawing a peace sign.
6. Finally, what if a situation resulting in suspension occurs, like a fight? "World Peace has been suspended". Now that's just scary for all of us.

Seriously. This is pure comedy & I cannot wait to see what ensues. There better NOT be a lockout, I want to enjoy every single second w/ the "Athlete Formally Known As Ron Artest". Big Ran & I are definitely co-presidents of  the World Peace Fan Club.

-KC Jones

Obama Has Another Banner Week



We've already discussed Obama's Best Week Ever here on the Takeover, so I wanted to pass this along as a close second.  If this dude keeps racking up weeks like this, Mitt, Newt, and that nut job from Minny might as well head out on that dusty trail.

This has nothing to do with troop withdrawal and everything to do with capturing Whitey Bulger and getting my new passport processed and sent back to me in five days.  If you don't think Obama had a bullet proof vest and a SWAT jacket on when they stormed Whitey's love nest, you're out of your mind.  Also, if you don't think he was trimming my passport photo and sewing extra pages into it, I don't know what to tell you other than go move to Russia you God damned commie.  You hate freedom and firefighters.

-Big Ran

Is This Person Good Looking?

You all know this chick, she's the T-Mobile commercial chick.  I did, literally the minimum amount of research possible and found out her name is Carly Foulkes, hails from Toronto, and has done predominantly modeling throughout her career. All of her photos are model type shots, so there may be a heavy-handed air brush artist involved.  Who knows.

When I first saw the T-Mobil commercials, I was intrigued, but I think that was more a case of the sun dress phenomena* rather than finding her amazingly attractive.  Lots of artsy / JCrew bathing suit type photos:




From the commercials:




So, is she good looking?  Sure, absolutely, but I wish she would have a hamburger and a protein shake and quit eating dinner with Reggie Miller.

On another note, how much do you want to hit that scrawny rapping guy in the second commercial across the back with a folding chair, WWF-style?  In my "research" for this blog I found a listing for "Would you rather bang the T-Mobil girl or punch her white rapper-friend in his smug face."

My answer:  B.

-Big Ran

*Sun Dress Phenomena - the first really warm day in spring when all the sun dresses come out and every chick looks 19.4 times hotter.