Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Irrational Rant....Buttheads!

Ok, so this rant has been brewing for quite some time and personally, I don't care if I offend anyone with it. I have come to the realization that the title of  "Most Inconsiderate Group in the Human Race" belongs to smokers! Yup! I said it. Has anyone else noticed this besides me? Here are my reasons:

1. Notice that these people think nothing of tossing their finished 'butt' of of their car window, or onto the lawn where they are hanging out, or onto the sidewalk where they are standing. Now, this is apparently accepted by society, but are you serious? Now, I like Dunkin Donuts Iced Tea. I like it a lot. However, when I am finished with my cup of it, I am not allowed to litter. That's what these people are doing. They are littering--proof that they are extremely inconsiderate. I guess they can't afford a trash can because of the amount they spend on cigarettes.

2. They think nothing of standing there and blowing smoke in your face. Countless times, I have walked in or out of a public establishment only to be greeted by a face full of smoke from the mouth of a nicotine fiend. Seriously? I know we can't outlaw or ban smoking, and we shouldn't be able to, however, I just wish these people had some common sense or consideration for others. 

3. Many are still whining about the fact that they can't smoke inside of public locations. What? Do they not understand that even though they don't think twice about the fact that they are incinerating their insides, the rest of us might? It's not really anyone's 'right' to put other people's health in jeopardy. Maybe the smoke is clouding their judgment.

4. Some of these chimneys think nothing of standing in front of you, hacking nonstop to the point where you might be pelted with an internal organ. Gross. Go somewhere else and do that. And what's worse is those who complain about their own coughing, saying they are 'congested'. No, you're a chain smoker, plain and simple. These are usually the same people who reek of  smoke and think nothing of coming over and invading your person space.


Okay, so I know that not ALL smokers are like this, but truly, we all know the majority of them are this way. So, if you're a smoker who doesn't do this stuff, thank you. If you are, well, why don't you smoke even more so we can continue controlling the world population. And, I'd also like to say, this rant isn't irrational at all....this is the truth! And yes, I do understand and sympathize with the fact that it's an addiction. However, I do NOT sympathize with A-holes.



-KC Jones

*Big Ran Note:  There are several small details I love about this post.  The first is the line: "Maybe the smoke is clouding their judgment."  Hopefully that pun was totally intended.  KC Jones aka Big Pun.

The second line I love is the closer: "However, I do NOT sympathize with A-holes."  KC sounds like every movie president ever.  "WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!"  I can picture her in the war room slamming her fist on the big conference table.

Finally, my obligatory Dave Chappelle clip:

Mila Kunis Just Moved Up a Few Notches



I won't be seeing her new movie with JT, but this is awesome.  I guess the Russian reporter asked JT why he is making movies instead of music and Mila stepped in and said something to the effect of "Why movies?  Why not?  What kind of questions is that?  Why are you here?"

I guess she moved to the US from Ukraine when she was 7.  Every video of the Ukraine scene is Seinfeld can't be embedded, so here's the link:  http://youtu.be/fzLtF_PxbYw

I'd hit that.  Mila Kunis, not Kramer or Newman.

-Big Ran

KC Jones Says: I'm a raging heterosexual woman, but I'd hit that too. She's beautiful! Also, we have a new employee at my POE who looks just like Kramer.....a really creepy version!

Good Start to the Day


This week I am commuting to work near Boston from the Cape, which means that I am waking up at the crack of dawn in order to avoid traffic, and get to work early so I can leave early and beat traffic on the way back.  The first two days were actually OK, other than falling asleep on the couch by 9 PM after I got home.  This morning was a different situation all together.

First off, my father-in-law is at the Cape house with me and my wife, which is totally cool.  Not only because it is his house, but we don't mind him being there in the least.  This morning he decides to put on New York sports talk radio (WFAN), loudly, about a half hour before I have to wake up.  Realistically, its not a big deal, but you know that feeling when you are forced awake just long enough before your alarm goes off to be irritating?  That was today.

One thing that did go well this morning?  The outdoor shower.  Outdoor showers are the best; amazingly refreshing and invigorating.  It's like being in an Irish Spring commercial (who else see the leprechaun say "YEAH!"). 

I head out on the ride and there is an accident that just totally sabotages the commute and I get to work 45 minutes later than I wanted.  This prevents me from getting a spot in front of our building and having to drive in at the same time as our smug, PITA new hire who makes a show out of checking his watch has some smart ass comment for me.  

So I park, hike towards the office and stop in the coffee shop.  This is where karma starts poking me.  I get to the coffee shop and there is a guy taking his sweet ass time getting coffee.  I have no patience, so in my head I am thinking, "Let's go bro, move your ass."  Instantly, I bump into this hanging wire rack holding t-bags and sh!t.  

After paying I head upstairs and am behind the same slow coffee guy and he sees a guy he knows who looks tired and tells coffee guy that he went out last night.  Coffee guy's response:  "OOOOHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO!  Good luck today, man."  Again, in my head, I am thinking, "Oh God, shut up and move on."  Then, instantly, my foot slips off a step and I spill coffee on my pants, shirt, and face.  However, I did come up with a good response to it courtesy of "Groundhog Day," and I said, "Ooh, you gotta watch that step, it's a doozy."

This was a long boring blog so I could vent.  I'll bring more heat later.


-Big Ran