This clip is unbelievable. I don't even know how I found it....actually, I prefer to think it found me. It's short and sweet, but ripe with opportunities for commentary. So, take a minute (47 seconds actually) to watch it and consider my thoughts (which will be presented semi-stream of consciousness style):
First off, I'm not a boxing/fighting expert, but I thought there were weight classes established in order to avoid situations like this. This is like watching a butterfly fight an elephant. The only thing better than a svelte little Asian man is a svelte little Asian man wearing dangerously tight, high, WHITE spandex shorts. And, the only thing that has ever made me ashamed to be an American is Mr. Clean (the morbidly obese version) wearing American flag themed trunks (yes, pun intended with my elephant comment). Please wear French or Canadian flagged shorts next time, we don't want you. Is this even going to be fair? Our precious butterfly has taken a couple of hits already. I hope some paramedics are in the crowd, because he is probably going to get his wings broken. At least he has speed on his side. And then it happens, second 24, watch the way Jet Li just bounces off the ropes and up off the Michelin Man's chest. This is unreal, until he's brought to the ground and Mr. Tons of Fun appears to be getting ready to smother him with this rotund, fleshy belly. After a few seconds of grappling and struggling, Tiny Dancer wins by putting him into a rarely used, completely secret (to this point) submission hold via ankle twist. I've never seen anything like this! Make sure you have the volume up, you can hear Grimace screaming for the last few seconds before the winner is declared. Too bad the clip ends before the crane is brought in to haul Grimace away. I'm thinking Big Ran and I could make this clip even better (if that's possible) if we were to dub commentary in English over it.
-KC Jones
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
I thought we'd continue on with the Van Gundy Themed Thursday started by Big Ran, so he we go!
The biggest difference between these two is that Stan the Man Van Gundy is most likely crab and VD free. Besides that, it looks like there was most likely a big mix up at whatever hospital where Mr. Jeremy was born. Clearly, he and Jeff Van Gundy were born at the same hospital but sent home with the wrong parents. Ah, such is life. I can't really imagine Ron Ron commentating on or coaching an NBA team anyway....and I don't WANT to imagine Jeff in the adult entertainment biz (nor do I want to think about the reality of Ron Jeremy, but it is what it is). The one thing this 'mix up' does prove is that certain parts of a person's personality are learned behaviors (under the assumption that the Van Gundy boys share no biological connection, they still both have extremely explosive tempers!) Does anyone have Maury Povich's direct line? I think a DNA test needs to done STAT. I'm anticipating a dramatic pause, followed by, "Mr. and Mrs. Bill Van Gundy, you are NOT the parents..."
-KC Jones
Update from Big Ran: anytime I can post this video, I will.
The biggest difference between these two is that Stan the Man Van Gundy is most likely crab and VD free. Besides that, it looks like there was most likely a big mix up at whatever hospital where Mr. Jeremy was born. Clearly, he and Jeff Van Gundy were born at the same hospital but sent home with the wrong parents. Ah, such is life. I can't really imagine Ron Ron commentating on or coaching an NBA team anyway....and I don't WANT to imagine Jeff in the adult entertainment biz (nor do I want to think about the reality of Ron Jeremy, but it is what it is). The one thing this 'mix up' does prove is that certain parts of a person's personality are learned behaviors (under the assumption that the Van Gundy boys share no biological connection, they still both have extremely explosive tempers!) Does anyone have Maury Povich's direct line? I think a DNA test needs to done STAT. I'm anticipating a dramatic pause, followed by, "Mr. and Mrs. Bill Van Gundy, you are NOT the parents..."
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| Ron Jeremy |
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| Stan Van Gundy (Orlando Magic coach) |
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| Jeff Van Gundy (alleged brother of Stan---Paternity test results pending) |
Update from Big Ran: anytime I can post this video, I will.
False Advertising....
A few weeks ago, something dawned on me, and then last night, while I was watching the NBA Playoffs, I was reminded of it again when I saw this commercial:
Somebody call the Attorney General's office immediately because this is the most blatant case of false advertising EVER. Come on! The Kia Optima is the official car of the NBA? Right, and Claire's is the official jewelry store of the players as well. Even the LOWEST paid player in the league wouldn't be driving around in anything less than a Cadillac Escalade or a souped up sports car and the highest paid players have fleets of all sorts of luxury cars. No way any current, past, or future professional baller is or will be driving a Kia, unless they are being paid to make a commercial for the company (ok, maybe Toine because of his bankruptcy issues). The only use the NBA has for a Kia in any capacity is as a prop in the Slam Dunk Contest (shout out to Blake, we see you!). This commercial is just making me angry....who do they think they're fooling?
So, in a way, I guess this post could be an irrational rant, but I didn't want to officially label it that way because I think it's actually kind of rational.
-KC Jones
Update from Big Ran: Spot on, KC. Maybe Kia is the official car of NBA interns, or assistant coaches? Remeber like 10 years ago when Jeff Van Gundy's Honda Civic was blown off the runway by the Knicks team plane?
I just remember not understanding how an NBA Coach would have a 5 year old Civic.
Comment from KC Jones: Big Ran- it's nice to see that one of the Van Gundy boys is just keepin' it real. I wouldn't be surprised if his brother big Stan is riding around in a side cart attached to D-How's SUV....
Somebody call the Attorney General's office immediately because this is the most blatant case of false advertising EVER. Come on! The Kia Optima is the official car of the NBA? Right, and Claire's is the official jewelry store of the players as well. Even the LOWEST paid player in the league wouldn't be driving around in anything less than a Cadillac Escalade or a souped up sports car and the highest paid players have fleets of all sorts of luxury cars. No way any current, past, or future professional baller is or will be driving a Kia, unless they are being paid to make a commercial for the company (ok, maybe Toine because of his bankruptcy issues). The only use the NBA has for a Kia in any capacity is as a prop in the Slam Dunk Contest (shout out to Blake, we see you!). This commercial is just making me angry....who do they think they're fooling?
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| Baby Bron, not a Kia |
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| Superman...not a Kia |
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| The Big Shamrock, not a Kia... |
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| The Captain, Paul Pierce- doesn't look like a Kia either... |
-KC Jones
Update from Big Ran: Spot on, KC. Maybe Kia is the official car of NBA interns, or assistant coaches? Remeber like 10 years ago when Jeff Van Gundy's Honda Civic was blown off the runway by the Knicks team plane?
I just remember not understanding how an NBA Coach would have a 5 year old Civic.
Comment from KC Jones: Big Ran- it's nice to see that one of the Van Gundy boys is just keepin' it real. I wouldn't be surprised if his brother big Stan is riding around in a side cart attached to D-How's SUV....
Endangered Whales Gathering Near the Cape, Poising for Attack
From Boston.com:
A record number of the critically endangered North Atlantic right whales has gathered close off the beaches of Provincetown and Truro and is expected to stay there for at least another week, said Dr. Charles “Stormy’’ Mayo, senior scientist at the Center for Coastal Studies in Provincetown.
Researchers counted more than 100 whales during an aerial survey Tuesday, with a preliminary count of more than 200 total, a little less than half of the known population. At some points the whales can be seen just a few yards offshore, to a quarter-mile out.
The whales are drawn to the area this time of year by the stores of zooplankton. Mayo said he thinks there is a large number of the whales there now because the area is particularly rich in zooplankton this year.
“We don’t understand that particularly well, but it’s clearly a combination of oceanographic processes and a lot of marine biology,’’ he said. “There are currents that bring the plankton into the area and local currents that cause them to concentrate, and it’s probably an overlapping of a lot of physical processes.Right now, the situation is good for that, just as when you grow plants in your backyard. Some years, there are better situations than others.’’
Also, the marine biologists don't understand it? That's your job bro, figure it out before its too late! Unless the Globe found the dude posing as a marine biologist trying to impress a chick like George Costanza. Wrong place, wrong time and his spot just got blown the fuck up.
-Big Ran
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