Friday, March 23, 2012
Closing Time
I'm looking at a half-empty bottle of Courvoisier, which means that we are just about out of time.
Have a great weekend, adopt some dogs!
-Big Ran
Geraldo Rivera: Investigative Journalist...Ummm What?
Geraldo Rivera, investigative journalist vapid douche bag, tweeted this about Trayvon Martin, the teenager shot and killed by George Zimmerman, essentially for being African American and having the gall to carry around a bag of Skittles, an iced tea, and wear a hooded sweatshirt.
Geraldo really nails this issue on the head, huh? Great responses though:
Is Geraldo just letting his mustache go to his head or what? Look, I don't like to be serious on this blog, or really ever, but this case is just outrageous.
This poor kid was shot in cold blood because this crazy-ass racist p.o.s. didn't think black people should be in his neighborhood. Nobody helped the kid and Zimmerman was questioned and released. People, we still live in a f*cked up, backwards-ass, racist country, just look at most of the people that write in to this "Yo, Is This Racist?". His great response to Geraldo:
"DEAR GERALDO, I HOPE YOU GET MUSTACHE CANCER"
Damn. I got all serious. Go out and adopt some puppies and feed them ham, god damn it!
-Big Ran
India Doing What India Does Best...Be Crazy as F*ck
New Delhi - In India's remote and poverty-stricken areas, health resources and qualified doctors can be scarce. Many people still rely on faith-based healers, who sometimes promote outlandish theories about how the body works.
Shyamali Singh is a high school student in West Bengal's Midnapur district who holds a wild belief about dog bites.
He said getting bitten by a dog leads to the birth of puppies. The victim gets puppies inside his body and becomes like a mad dog.
So-called "puppy pregnancy syndrome" has a long history in the locality.
Psychiatrist Kumar Kanti Ghosh helped document the phenomenon for an article in the medical journal Lancet in 2003. His interest started when a nine-year-old boy came to his clinic about 10 days after being bitten by a domesticated dog.
"There was no issue of rabies," Ghosh said. "But he believed that he had developed a pregnancy with a puppy inside his abdomen. His parents said that sometimes he was barking like a dog and was crawling on his four feet.”
Farmer Gopal Singh is one of Singh's patients who was bitten by a dog about seven years ago. He said he went running to the faith healer- who explained that puppies would be born inside his stomach and he would become like a mad dog and die."
So, would the puppies be half human and half puppy or would they be straight puppy? I guess the combo could be interesting, but I think I would prefer just regular puppies. If you don't think I'm smearing a raw steak over my wife's arms tonight and hoping for some more puppies, you don't know me well.
He said getting bitten by a dog leads to the birth of puppies. The victim gets puppies inside his body and becomes like a mad dog.
So-called "puppy pregnancy syndrome" has a long history in the locality.
Psychiatrist Kumar Kanti Ghosh helped document the phenomenon for an article in the medical journal Lancet in 2003. His interest started when a nine-year-old boy came to his clinic about 10 days after being bitten by a domesticated dog.
"There was no issue of rabies," Ghosh said. "But he believed that he had developed a pregnancy with a puppy inside his abdomen. His parents said that sometimes he was barking like a dog and was crawling on his four feet.”
Farmer Gopal Singh is one of Singh's patients who was bitten by a dog about seven years ago. He said he went running to the faith healer- who explained that puppies would be born inside his stomach and he would become like a mad dog and die."
So, would the puppies be half human and half puppy or would they be straight puppy? I guess the combo could be interesting, but I think I would prefer just regular puppies. If you don't think I'm smearing a raw steak over my wife's arms tonight and hoping for some more puppies, you don't know me well.
-Big Ran
PS: If you don't think I live up to my self-imposed nickname of "Picasso of YouTube" now, then you need to move to Communist Russia, because I pulled this one out of the ether, man.
PPS: I don't know how many rupees you would have to pay me to go to India, but I don't know if there is a big enough number.
Ho-Hum, Just Another Dog Saving the Day
St. Petersburg, Florida -- A St. Petersburg dog is being called a hero for helping to save a
17-year-old girl from an attack.
The teen was volunteering for the Friends of Strays animal shelter on a Saturday
afternoon, a few weeks ago.
As she walked down a path behind the building with Mabeline, a Rhodesian
Ridgeback mix, the girl was attacked.
Pinellas County deputies say Michael Bacon, a registered sexual predator, chased her
down, grabbed her by the hair, then pinned her down.
The teen couldn't get loose, but the 38-pound dog did, scaring the attacker off, and allowing the girl to escape.
"To see something like that happen, it's just unfathomable," said Donna Thomas,
from Friends of Strays, adding they've never had any problems before. "...a dog,
its bark, its growl, and defending its owner, is always a deterrent."
But Mabeline, described as an "absolute sweetheart" is hardly what many think of as
a guard dog.
Since the attack, she was adopted out.
The new owner, Mary Callahan, had no idea what her new four-legged friend had
done, until 10 News told her.
"I looked at my dog and I thought you are a hero," Callahan explained.
It's a feisty side Callahan hasn't seen, but she's glad to have the extra protection.
"I like that. I like that a lot," she said.
38 pounds of awesomeness. I'm so pumped Maybellene was adopted and is given ham. Awesome.
It's Friday, people, go adopt some dogs and give them ham!
-Big Ran
So, Andrei Kirilenko's Wife Is Out There
That's former NBA-er, Andrei Kirilenko's wife wearing a scream mask at her husband's Russian League game yesterday. Two questions come to mind:
1. Why (obviously)?
2. Why does no one seem phased in the least?
If someone near me just busts out a Scream mask, I watch them very carefully, because they are obviously insane. I gotta get to Russia, it just seems like a winterized version of the Wild West. Just rip vodka and cheap cigarettes, and find me a Russian bride to wear a Scream mask, then call it a day.
Well, hey, in Russia, Scream mask wears you.
-Big Ran
Flour Bombs Over Kardashian
I hope her hair or that phat ass (and trust me, I mean phat with a P-H. To quote Cube, "I got d!ck for days, she got ass for weeks") doesn't have a gluten allergy. But you know what they always say, "It's Hollywoooo, it's Holywoooo, man."
Also, money shot of the two dudes vacuuming the flour off the red carpet. Come on, get a Dyson and act like a professional for once.
-Big Ran
Stuck In My Head
Dudes, I don't care what you think, this is an f-ing jam. I think I love it because it reminds me of when the Celts bust out the disco with Gino whenever they are putting the wood to a team in the fourth quarter.
-Big Ran
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