Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Irrational Rant....Designer Diapers

So, I noticed something about a month ago that REALLY struck me as odd and then began to aggravate me, so it's time for me to share with all of you. I walked into Rite Aid to pick up a refill, and as i was walking down the baby care aisle I noticed the product pictured below:
That's right! Diapers that will create the illusion that a baby is wearing jeans! This MIGHT be one of the stupidest ideas since flip flops with bottle openers in the sole (sorry to two of my friends who are the proud owners of this type of shoe!). Why is this necessary? I doubt that any parent has ever been changing their baby, thinking, "These white diapers are so boring, if only my kid could wear faux denim". I've seen one out of the package (ok, I may or may not have poked a hole in the package in order to gauge how realistic these "jean diapers" were), and guess what? They look like a blue diaper, just as I suspected. I mean, if they made the pockets functional, so the baby could keep some crackers or a rattle back there, or if they made them button fly diapers that would be one thing, but sadly, that's not the case.

Seriously?


I have some rhetorical questions for our readers:

First, are the parents who are purchasing these thinking they are an adequate substitute for clothing? If so, someone should probably call DSS. Second, do that many parents have their children crawling around or lying around in just a diaper for extended periods of time (in places other than Wal-Mart)? When it's warm, that's one thing, but otherwise, most little ones I've seen have the diapers underneath their clothing. They have never been meant to make a fashion statement or else Gymboree would have introduced a best selling line years ago! Third, does everyone realize that people typically wear denim from the waist down in the form of jeans, skirts, or shorts? I've never heard of anyone wearing denim underwear. That's basically what these are. Absorbent jean underroos! And finally, are the people who purchase these unaware of what a diaper's sole purpose is? That's right, containing baby waste. It doesn't matter what it looks like, because within a couple of hours it's going in the trash full stuff that nobody wants to see or smell.

There are so many adorable outfits for children out there, so I'm not sure who (if anyone) would be seeking these designer diapers out. I can certainly understand a child wanting diapers that have cartoon characters on them once they are old enough to voice their opinions, but this??  Come on! I guess that's why this style was the only one on sale that day at Rite Aid.

Questions? Comments? Holla at me.

-KC Jones

*Big Ran Note: there are some great possibilities here. I would find a tiny baby beater and put one on the kid while wearing these diapers and have them hold a Busch Light can. That's a Christmas card waiting to happen. Or, you could have the kid run around shirtless with these on and film "Baby Cops." I am father of the year material.