TMZ - Florida Highway Patrol tells TMZ ... Savage was driving his 2009 Jeep Wrangler when he veered across the concrete median ... through oncoming traffic ... and "collided head-on with a tree."
Savage was transported to Largo Medical center, where he died from his injuries.
Savage's wife was a passenger in the vehicle during the collision -- but survived with "minor injuries." She was transported to a different local hospital where she was treated.
Forget everything we have written, it's official, the Rapture has started. Mach Man clearly needed to head out early in order to become one of the four horsemen.
Everybody pour a little out and snap into a Slim Jim for Randy tonight.
After I head out today, I need to make my final pre-Rapture trip to the grocery store. I think that as long as I have the following items, we'll be all set once the playlists have stopped and everyone except for the people at our Rapture Rage are blown into oblivion:
In addition to the typical canned fruits and vegetables and cases of water, I'm looking to add the following to our "Rapture Arsenal" for good eatin':
-Astronaut Ice Cream: I'll start with dessert first. If it can survive space, it can survive "The Rapture"
-Spam: Do I need to say anything about this? I've never had it and often wondered if people who feed it to their children could be brought up on child abuse charges. However, I'll being singing a different song when I'm hungry after the rapture.
-Tuna Fish: As far as I can tell, it pretty much lasts forever in the tin, so I'll stock up. Big Ran, I know you love "chicken of the sea" too, so I'll make sure I get enough. I'll probably buy the 'pouch' variety too in case our can openers disappear during Rapture festivities.
-Kool-Aid: Some might think about "The Rapture" and say "OH NO!", but I say "OH YEAAAAHHHH!". I'll pick up the powered mix in the large tub. That way, when there's no clean water left, it will at least make the dirty stagnant water taste like Cherry (or Orange, or Grape) flavored dirty water. As long as we're properly stocked and have the right tunes, this is gonna be alright and maybe even fun!
-Soup: Obviously I'll have to get the kind with the flip tab for easy opening due to my concerns about losing can openers during the height of "The Rapture". Good news is that canned soup is so packed with preservatives that even if we don't have a way to heat it up (although, I'm expecting a LOT of fires), we'll be all set.
-Gatorade & Red Bull: As we'll need to keep our energy and hydration levels up immediately post rapture. We're going to need all the help we can get if we hope to not only survive, but thrive in this "Whole New World" (shout out to Aladdin- and this needs to be added to one of the playlists IMMEDIATELY!).
-Slim Jims: And any other smoked, processed, mechanically separated meat product. We're going to need protein to keep our stremf' up post Rapture, especially after all the dancing we'll be doing. I wish I had known about "The Rapture" over the past holiday season. I would have really stocked up on those Hickory Farm unrefrigerated meat and cheese gift sets!!
-Marshmallows: I don't even like them. But with all the fires sure to be raging, we should probably have plenty on hand so we can roast them over the open flames. Plus, toasting marshmallows is synonymous with good times and I definitely want to "Let the Good Times Roll" (again, this needs to be added to one of our playlists STAT!)
I LOVE KC's Rapture Mix, so I figured I would bring one to the party too. I should probably not only burn it on a CD, but also put it on a tape just in case any technology made after 1994 (last Rapture date from Harold Camping) doesn't work. KC's Dad's 8 track should be fine too.
1. The Hives - Tick, Tick, Boom
"It's too late, it's too soon, or is it tick, tick, tick, boom" Pretty self explanatory. Plus, I wanna be fired up for the rapture.
2. Muse - Time is Running Out
3. When the Last Time
"When the last time you heard it like this, some sumptin', drink sumptin' get ripped, make the girls in the party just strip, move ya a$$ girl." YESSSSSS, sign me up for that Rapture party cause you know nobody in there is floating upstairs.
4. Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself
I went to a Billy Idol concert like 6 years ago and it was AWESOME. I got four tickets for $14 and it was probably the best show I have every seen. Plus, I sat next to two women who went out to lunch with Billy Idol in like 1984...to Burger King. For this song, I may be dancing with myself when everyone else floats away. The video has the bonus of having an zombie apocalypse theme.
5. Bloc Party - Banquet
Probably won't be much to eat post Rapture, live it up while you can.
6. The Bravery - An Honest Mistake
That's what I'll be telling God while I'm in Purgatory. Plus, Jay Z called this the dopest video ever made by a bunch of white boys.
7. Get Boys - Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta
Rapture or no Raptue, Ima keep it real.
8. Folk Implosion - Nothing Gonna Stop
Dope beat for when you wanna keep the party going post Rapture.
9. Nine Inch Nails - Survivalism
This will get you going when you need to fight off zombies. Plus, anytime someone uses the term "doppelganger" in your lyrics, that's a win in my book.
10. Biggie - Hypnotize
From the album "Life After Death." Plus, this has to be one of the best songs in the history of the erf. Also, it transitions nicely to our after party.
Bonus After Party Re-population Remix
After the Rapture, we're gonna have to repopulate right? Time to get it going and get to laying your woman down by the fire.
Usher - Yeah
This is on my desert island mix. or, in this case, my Rapture Remix. Time to get your grind on. Also, it will probably be good to have an example of good dancing post rapture.
JT - Sexy Back
Anyone who doesn't honestly LOVE this song is a God damned communist. In that case, you're a Godless heathen and burning at this point of the party anyway.
Al Green - I'm So Tired of being Alone (really any Al Green Song here)
Time for intercourse.
-Big Ran
-KC Jones loves this playlist and is hoping Big Ran makes two copies in each type of format. The 8 track player is gone though, so I guess we'll just have to rely upon CDs, tapes, and vinyl. KC Jones' father still does drop the needle on the record from time to time.
I've been sitting on this idea for a humpday holla-back for a while now, waiting for just the right time. Given that the Celtics are down 1-3, the weather is crappy, and it's still not Friday, I figured we all could use an absolutely amazing video. So, enjoy this wonderful creation from MC Hammer, oops sorry, Hammer, BEFORE he filed bankruptcy.
Ok, so I'm writing my commentary under the assumption that you haven't gone blind during the viewing of this video. Have you stopped laughing yet? What is going on here? This makes "Rico Suave" look like a country music video. Obviously, he must have borrowed his phone from Zack Morris and the Saved By The Bell kids, and, I'm not sure WHERE he got the Speedo. It's zebra striped! It's unbelievable! And speaking of the Speedo, what are the odds that it's stuffed with tube socks? Parents complain about how things are so out of control on TV today, but guess what everyone? I think this is probably one of the most 'inappropriate' things ever and I fully support it! (The video and the, well, you know...)
And, even though I firmly believe that Speedos should be outlawed, have you ever seen anyone wearing one with a pair of lifting gloves and black combat boots? Oh, you haven't? Well, you have now! No one will make fun of you as long as you pair the banana hammock with combat boots. What is that move he's doing at the one minute mark? This same move, or variation of it, is featured throughout the video and I'm just not sure what to say. Fortunately, despite the over stimulation caused by all the action and colors, this video is very simple. Hammer found out he was going to be forced into foreclosure because he supported all his homies and mismanaged his money. So, he figured he'd throw one last party with a mandatory dress code: For women, you could only come if you wore a bikini and pumps. For men, you can't upstage the Hammer's hammer, so you have to wear shorts or be fully clothed. He's the host, he gets to wear the festive Speedo. And men? Only a few of you could attend, so make sure you get there early!
The bump? I know that he was clearly referring to the women's asses, especially when he spits the hot fire; "I don't like 'em stiggity fat! (No!) I like 'em stiggity stacked (Yeah!) You wiggity wiggity wack if you ain't got biggity back (Awwww!)". However, ironically enough, I think the 'bump' may also be referring to what is so clearly presented in the Zeedo (Zebra Speedo, like that?).
Around the 2:40 mark, a think a call to 911 is in order because that chick is having a seizure. Clearly too much time out in the sun, she must be dehydrated. And at 3:00, the pool party seems to end for the guys as they are all fully clothed, including Hammer. For the women? They have to stay in their bumps and bikinis and wait around for the dance routine performed at the 3:30 mark. Once this happens, EVERYONE can change into their evening wear and get ready to dance the night away. A++. Beautiful. When is he dropping his next hit?
P.S. If anyone knows where I can get a pair of sunglasses like his and a speedo like that, please let me know. Summer is coming and I'd like Mr. KC Jones to give it a shot. We can find the combat boots on our own.
Our blog had some technical difficulties last week, so some posts didn't stay up. I'm reposting this one because I have my actual performance review at 10 AM today! Wish me luck! Wish me luck that you don't hear about me on the evening news!
I'm giving you a raise!
It's the most wonderful time of the yearrrr!!!!!!!!!!! For my office we are smack dab in the middle of performance review season. In the words of KC Jones, YESSSSSSSSSSS!
What I really love about these performance reviews is the fact that so much time and effort is wasted on the fact that maybe, just maybe, I max out at like a 1.7% raise this year. So, in other words, not nearly enough to even cover the increase in gas prices for my commute. I am actually getting poorer every singe year I work.
The first part of our process is the self appraisal and this is a TON of fun because we get to grade ourselves in like 15 different areas on a five point scale. Now, our company has told us that a score of 3 is good, that means you are doing a commendable job. If you give yourself a 4 you really have to be able to defend it, and if you give yourself a 5, you better be able to not only walk on water, but be able to juggle at the same time, and have found the cure to the common cold.
So, we go through all that, then submit it to our manager. Our manager reads it, completes their appraisal of you, then goes over everything with the head of our department. At that point we have a one-on-one meeting to go over the good, the bad, and the ugly. Think about the cumulative hours that everyone spends on this B.S. All for a 1.7% raise, at most, that we won't get until September. How about this? We skip this b.s and just give me a couple of extra floating holidays. At least I won't have to spend money on gas if I don't want to.
-Big Ran
Hey Big Ran- how about a couple of times years back when, at the end of my reviews, my supervisors at the time slid a post it note across the table to me like we were haggling over the price of a car. I swear to God it happened. Also, how about when I laughed at the total raise and asked for a just a few more vacation days instead and was told 'no'? I heart work!
Sorry Arnold, but it looks like "you ARE the father!" I'm thinking your housekeeper was doing a little jig similar to this back in the day when she found out because she knew she was gonna get PAID!
I wonder how it went when she did an unsatisfactory job cleaning. If Maria called something to her attention (dust bunnies, soap scum, etc), do you think she went to Arnold and told him she was gonna let the cat out of the bag if he didn't take care of it himself? Something tells me The Spermanator spent a lot of time over the years with a toilet brush in hand hoping to conceal the scandal....unless, of course, "there was no bathroom"....YESSSSSSSSSS.....
In preparation for "The Rapture" tomorrow, I've put together a playlist and I'll be sending out my Rapture Dance Party E-vite shortly. I mean, if the world is ending, we might as well enjoy some sweet tunes while it's happening. I'll supply the snacks and other treats, just BYOB in case we don't have your favorite:
"It's the End of the World" - R.E.M.: and yes, I do feel fine, because I didn't want to continue on with this cube living any damn way.
"The Final Countdown"-Europe: "We're leaving together, but still it's farewell, And maybe we'll come back to Earth, who can tell?"
"In the End"-Linkin Park: Because, it's true, "in the end, it doesn't even matter".
"Thanks for the Memories"-Fall Out Boy: I'll dedicate this one to all of my family and friends.
"Enter Sandman"-Metallica: "Take my hand, we're off to Never, Never land"
"Danger"-Mystikal: This is not only a word of warning, but it's also encouraging the listeners (us) to 'get on the floor'--what better way to enjoy "The Rapture" than from the dance floor?
"24 Hours to Live"-Ma$e: Wow, that's a blast from the past, huh? Philosophical rappers Puff Daddy and Ma$e pose the question: "If you had 24 hours to live... what would you do?" Before reminding us, "That's some deep sh*t right there. A lot of pressure how would you handle it?" Maybe we should take some of his suggestions into consideration. For example, we could, "turn out all the hoes that's heterosexual", "smack conceited n***** right off the pedestal", or "do good sh*t, like take kids from the ghetto, show them what they could have if they never settled". There are plenty of other ideas presented in this ditty as well. Take a listen for yourself.
"99 Problems"-Jay-Z: Because really, if "The Rapture" does happen, I know that when God and I chat, He's going to have at LEAST 99 problems to address with me. It's been an imperfect 32 years, what can I say?
"Break on Through"-The Doors: yup, once it gets here, we're all going to be going to the other side.
"Breathe and Stop"-Q-Tip: Pretty much how I envision the end. One second we'll all be alive and breathing, next second it will all be stopped. And, this is a great dance song, so "The Rapture" party will be on and popping with this in the background.
"Party All The Time"- This might have nothing to do with "The Rapture" in your opinion. But for me, this song is appropriate for any situation.
"Until the End of the World"-U2
"Caught up in the Rapture"-Anita Baker: A nice, slow ballad from 80's R&B diva Anita Baker. What a perfect way to close out the playlist!
Call me for directions to the crib. See you all tomorrow...or, will I?
-KC Jones
*Big Ran Note: I find it amazing that KC can just pull up songs for a list like this like it ain't no thang. Like "The Rapture" and their roller skating party, here is another video that really screams rapture to me. As weird as this video is, I cannot look away.
Aso, a great call by KC on "Final Countdown." Here's an epic version:
Just when I think "The Final Countdown" can't get any better than the original version, Big Ran proves me wrong. Well done, my friend, well done.-KC Jones
