Hello, Lionel Richie Won't Celebrate All Night Long

BOSTON (CBS) – Lionel Richie will not be performing at the Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular on the 4th of July Monday.

He’ll be replaced by country music superstar Martina McBride.

In a statement released early Friday morning, Richie said he had to back out at the last minute because of strained vocal cords.

“I am extremely disappointed to cancel my performance with the Boston Pops but must follow my doctor’s orders.  It was such an honor being asked to celebrate the Fourth of July with this legendary orchestra and I hope to perform with them in the future.”

This is a shame because he already had the sweet white and blue shirt.  If he added some red, he would be all set for Monday.  Also, it would have been a nice break from the country music the world seems to be trying to cram down our throats.  I mean, sure, you probably would have had a ton of people making sweet, sweet love on the esplanade, but that's the price you pay for the smooth, dulcet tones of Mr. Lionel Richie.  We could have had a Fourth of July baby boom because of him.  Freedom babies.  Everyone wins.  Now we have more country music.  Awesome.  Now, I have no idea what Martina McBride sings, but I know this.  There won't be any Martina McBride Freedom baby boom going on in the Bay state.

-Big Ran


PS:  Boom.  Freedom Babies. I mean, this is how you make a F*CKING VIDEO.