One day, years from now, Jennifer Christine Harris will scroll back to this week on her Facebook Timeline and regret everything she sees. (She'll also be, like, "I still don't get the point of Facebook Timeline. The interface is so confusing and the pictures are way too big!") The Des Moines native was arrested for having allegedly set fire to the home of Nikki Rasmussen, an old friend, while Nikki and her husband Jim were fast asleep. The person Jim instantly suspected was Harris, with whom his wife was having an ongoing dispute. It had played out on the pages of Facebook.
A police report says that when an officer asked Nikki Rasmussen about Jen Harris, Rasmussen said "… the two are no longer friends due to a dispute over Facebook. According to Nikki, Jen is angry with her because she ended their friendship on Facebook."
It's not as simple as just that. Were that it was! But, like Facebook itself, this story gets way too complicated and bogged down in the everyday minutia of narcissistic and profoundly lonely people with way too much time on their hands:
"Things were posted on Facebook," [Detective Jack ] Kamerick said. "Jen asked Nikki to create an event on Facebook for a party. Nikki did that. As the date for the party approached "there were a lot of ‘declines,' on Facebook, the detective said. It was looking like the party might be a bust. The dispute apparently blossomed. So when the garage went up in flames, Harris became the first name that occurred to the victims.
Luckily, the couple emerged unscathed. This had the potential of being the deadliest social-media-invite-related act of vengeance since The Great Evite Christmas Party "Maybe" Massacre of '03! And as for Harris, she is currently being held in Polk County Jail on $100,000 bond. It's probably not the poke she was hoping for. [desmoinesregister.com via The Daily What, Mugshot via Polk County Jail]
With all of the bad news in the world, it's nice to read such a refreshingly INANE story. Seriously? This sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit. How are you going to justify setting someone's house on fire simply because they 'defriended' (made up word, awesome) you on "The Book"? Could you even imagine what this broad would have done in retaliation for a serious, legitimate offense?
Something tells me a mental health evaluation is going to be ordered as this case progresses and Ms. Harris will fail horribly. With behavior like this, it's no wonder that people weren't accepting e-vites to her stupid party. They were probably concerned for their safety. (Also, she probably asked Ms. Rasmussen to sent out the invite because had it come from her she already knew what the responses would say).
I wonder if Ms. Harris will be barred from Facebook now? If not and you happen to accept a friend request from her, just remember what might happen if you change your mind. Make sure your homeowner's insurance is up to date!
-KC Jones
Big Ran Note: Two things:
1. Imagine if Left Eye Lopes had been defriended by Andre Rison? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. She burned down his house way before facebook.
2. Cue the music...
Talking Heads - Burning down the house by Dan_of_the_Land
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