The Hartford Courant is Bringing the Heat Today!

Farmington - Police say a 22-year-old drunken driver punched himself in the face, tore his shirt and threw his wallet and keys in a river in an attempt to convince police he had been assaulted.


Daniel Vagnini, of 10 Butternut Drive, sped through a stop sign at the intersection of New Britain Avenue and Red Oak Hill around midnight Saturday, according to an officer who said he witnessed it. Vagnini nearly crashed into a car that had already entered the intersection.


Police said they found his car on Indian Hill Road and heard Vagnini in the woods. As police searched for him, Vagnini called 911 to report that he was lost in the woods. Vagnini was found near the Farmington River.


He told police he had been drinking in Hartford and was physically assaulted as he got into his car to go home. The beating had caused him to black out, Vagnini said. When he regained consciousness he was in the woods, his clothes were torn and his wallet, keys and ring were missing, police said.


But the story was made up. Vagnini admitted he had punched himself in the face, causing minor facial injuries. He also tore his shirt and tossed his belongings in the Farmington River to bolster his story, police said.


Vagnini was charged with reckless driving, evading responsibility and driving under the influence. He was released on a non-surety bond.


Now, in no way, shape, or form am I condoning drunk driving.  However, I will absolutely give this dude major league style points for this.  He was on the right track here, with punching himself, and tearing his shirt, but might have taken it one step to far with the blacking out and waking up in the woods.  Then again, he concocted this story on the fly while he was drunk and being chased by the cops.  Maybe next time he should pull the old Tommy Boy move:




See everyone on the flip side.

-Big Ran

Note to Self: Move to Enfield, CT (or Don't Move there, I'm Confused)

Hartford Courant - Police responded to a complaint about a group of women in bikinis Sunday evening.

Police said that a resident on Mathewson Street called police at 5:15 p.m. and said he was "alarmed" by a group of about 15 young woman in bikinis with zombie make-up taking photographs on the street.

Police said that the women, when made aware of the complaint, voluntarily moved to another street. They told police that they were make-up artists from Six Flags and were doing a calendar shoot.

Who do you think complained to the police about this?  Like, did they actually think they may have been zombies?  I guess its good that they called the police rather than busting out their shotgun and firing upon these unsuspecting Six Flags Make Up Artists.  Is that a real job?  I have so many questions about this story, I really wish I was there.


There are some really great comments on this story, though:


Hojo2086 at 1:26 PM June 6, 2011

I want to see the bikini pictures.  All of them.

avwh06 at 1:06 PM June 6, 2011

The people were just jealous because most people in Enfield can't wear bikini's

DanfromEastHampton at 12:03 PM June 6, 2011

Do you know that in New York, they could have been doing the photo shoot topless? The NY Supreme Court rules years ago that it was discrimination to allow men to go without a shirt and not let women have the same privlage. Personally, I would rather my children see a bare breast than a body with a bullet hole in their head so why do we censor breasts on TV but not heads being blown off? Makes you wonder what is acceptable these days.

Nichellemotos at 11:44 AM June 6, 2011

I was one of the zombie girls and want to be very clear. There were 3, THREE, ladies in zombie make up. We are making a zombie swim suit calendar. Its coming out awesome and you can see it on facebook. Year of the Dead.

We are in absolutely no way related or in talks or associated with Six Flags in any shape or form. We are just a group of people making an art project dream come true. Check us out! Its actually very awesome.

africansoothsayer at 7:24 AM June 6, 2011

Come see me in Farmington.  Shoot all day.  We are Zombi friendly in Farmington, unlike Enfield.

OK, so there we have it from one of the bikini clad zombies herself, setting the record straight and here are some pics:

BOOM.  I just did more research than the Hartford Courant.  No wonder print journalism is dying.  If you print a story about zombies in bikinis, you better run photos along with it.  Zombie sex sells.

-Big Ran

PS:  I really expected Donatella Vercase: