Saturday, April 16, 2011

Office Etiquette

I Don't Feel So Good....

In today's "Office Etiquette" post, I would like to a take a moment to weigh in on people who come to work when they are sick. While I realize that we cannot and should not call in sick each and every time we have the sniffles, I think it's time to call out those individuals who come to work when they are on death's door, putting all of their coworkers' health in jeopardy. I've witnessed this sort of behavior more times than I ever imagined possible, so I'd like to highlight a couple of the most flagrant offenses:

1. "It doesn't matter, I'm going to be sick whether I'm here or at home, so I might as well be here." Ummmm, how about no?! A while back, I was sitting in my cube and I heard this dude coughing violently in the aisle next to me. At one point, a friend of mine who sits in the cube in front of him and I were emailing, taking bets on which of his internal organs would be shot over the cube wall into her lap first. A little while later, he added a constant, productive, fog horn style nose blowing to his repertoire. Disgusting. Someone asked him if he was sick and he could barely speak. When it was suggested that he go home, he responded with the quote I used to open this paragraph.While that is true, it is completely asinine.  If he had stayed home, he wouldn't be exposing all of his coworkers and their families, etc to the plague he was carrying. Clearly this db has no regard for the well-being of the people around him. He has now earned the nickname "Bubble Boy" (shout out to Seinfeld), because we've noticed that he is one of those people who is CONSTANTLY sick and because of this, should probably be isolated.
Bottom line: If you have a cold/virus that is making you cough nonstop to the point of gagging and preventing you from doing anything with your hands besides cupping your nose with a tissue, it would probably be a good idea to stay home.

2. "I was throwing up all night, and I feel awful but I was able to keep some plain toast down this morning, so I decided to try to come in." I overheard this from a particularly annoying woman who works on my floor a few months back. She believes she is crucial to the long term AND day to day success of our company. (She's not, trust me.) Again, REALLY? Congrats on keeping the toast down lady, but guess what? If I wanted the Norwalk Virus or a variation of it, I'd hop on a cruise ship and at least reap the benefits of good food and a tan, not drive down the highway to my office building.
Bottom line: If you have a stomach bug, you should NEVER be at work. You are NOT that important, and the company will survive without you for a day or two.

3. "I have a stomach bug, so I'll be communicating via email or telephone today, FROM MY OFFICE." Yes, this was an email sent (maybe not the exact words, but you get the point) years ago from someone in a former department of mine. Of course we then see the infected wandering the halls, going into the bathroom, touching doorknobs, and other communal items. The irony here is that this person is one of the biggest germ-a-phobes going and won't even take a piece of paper from someone who has sneezed!  Seriously, you couldn't stay home and use a sick day? Or, if you really do believe you are so important that your absence will cause the company to come to a grinding halt, couldn't you just work from home for the day? 
Bottom line: See #2's 'bottom line'. Unacceptable.

4. "I never get sick, so this can't be anything." OR "I never get sick, so I'm guessing this must be allergies." Yup! Comments similar to these have been uttered in the cube farm as well. What is WRONG with people? First off, I don't know many people (or anyone, for that matter) who suffers from allergies in mid January, especially when everyone around them has been fighting off a cold, flu, or other virus. Secondly, don't lie. Everyone gets sick at some point. Sure, some people tend to catch things more easily than others, but there is no one in the world who has never been sick.
Bottom line: You aren't bionic, you're delusional.  STAY HOME.

This is clearly a legitimate issue at my company and others because we have received company wide emails at various points reminding us of when we should stay home sick. I'm not sure why grown adults need to be given guidelines or reminded that a fever equals contagion (yes, that's a word), but apparently some of them do.

So, I'll end the post by saying this; proper office etiquette calls for individuals to stay home when they are legitimately sick. This is why most companies provide their associates with sick days. Some things just don't need to be shared, and I think I speak for the majority when I say nobody wants your swine flu, bird flu, or SARS.



-KC Jones

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