So, I've had a few good conversations over text the last few weeks, but this one definitely takes the cake. If this convo looks familiar to you, holler at us!
June 6, 12:52 AM:
Stranger: Holaa
June 7, 12:12 AM:
Stranger: Pole on ur walla are makin me die a little inside
June 7, 9:28 PM:
Me: Hey, who's this? Not sure, but got a couple texts from you.
Stranger: This is bill finklestein a stalker in the west
Me: Niiiiiiiice
Stranger: Yes ive been following on the streetss iam a efficient stalker in fact i got my license in professional stalker oi am the best
Me: Stalker University or Stalker State? State is a safety school.
Stranger: I can not tell you stalker code plus u could track me outside ur house i womnt get back to jail and gety raped again.
Me: I can respect that. Plus without ruphies you remember the raping. Bad times.
Stranger: I feel pretty witty
Me: You're on fire.
Stranger: Its jordan u know this
June 7, 9:46 PM
Me: You're crazy
Jordan: Yep ive lost it <:*>
Me: Got a new phone. Send a pic for caller in
June 7, 10:03 PM:
Jordan:
Jordan: This what u mean
Me: No. Abe dong pics.
Jordan: I will not i am a classy lady
June 7, 10:15 PM:
Me: F
Me: Classy only goes so far.
Jordan: F is not a word it is a letter kremit
Me: That was actually an accident not a reference to a curse word
Me: I am classy too
Jordan: I never hearfd a curse word in my klife ohh myy i am puree ive been corrupted...U are queen elizabeth classy except you do not crap on the working class and homeless people
Me: Not that classy, but I am taller
June 7, 10:56 PM:
Jordan: Yeee yee bloody wankaa
Me: True fact
June 8, 1:06 PM:
Jordan: Truee dat truee dat
June 26, 1:00 AM:
Hey seany how you doin
June 26, 1:38 AM:
Jordan: R
So, as you can see, I think we can deduce a few things:
1. They like to text in the late night/early morning hours and like drinking mid week, so I'm guessing they are younger than me. Plus, there's some text lingo I don't use as an old f*cker.
2. His/her name is Jordan. I'm guessing female, but there is a chance it's Michael Jordan, which would be awesome.
3. Maybe they are a history major in college. That Queen Elizabeth reference and Lincoln Memorial pic were very nice touches.
4. This person has a great sense of humor and is very entertaining to text with.
4. She thinks I'm Sean.
So, where do we go from here? Not sure, but I feel like I need to be on my A game when I respond next.
-Big Ran
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