I'm Awesome at Getting People Fired up and Drunk

Well, this weekend, my wife joined the 30 year olds' club, so we hosted a party for some of her friends from college and work down at her parents' cape house.  Let me tell you something: there aren't many things I do well other than be awesome and  funny, but grilling and getting people drunk are also on that list.  Friday night everyone rolled in around 8 PM pr so, but I managed to play bartender and get people feeling good and loose, just priming the pump a bit for the next night.

Saturday comes around and I think we have 13 people in all hanging out at the Cape.  I knew there was going to be some day drinking going on, but before that started people were chilling outside, soaking up some sun.  Eventually between the early season sun, food, and day drinking, people were struggling around 4 PM.  You could call it the "calm before the storm," as they tried to say it was, but I knew better.  We needed a catalyst. So, I went to a convenience store and bought about $30 worth of Red Bull.  When I rolled up to check out, the woman working, simply responded with, "Whoa."  She knew what this was.  It was go time.

So, I get back to the house and start pouring Red Bull and Vodkas down peoples throats, and let me tell you, it worked.  It worked big time. I ran a couple shuttles out to a bar for people to get their drink on before the Bruins game and by the time everyone got back to the house, both the energy drunkenness levels were very high.  We ended up having someone puke in the sink, we had a couple get in a drunken fight, and both my dog and I tool a leak outside.  Those have always been my rules for a successful party:

1.  Did someone puke?

2.  Did people hook up or fight?

3.  Did someone pee in the back yard?

Win.  Good party.  Plus, people looked like they were beaten with shovels the next morning.  YESSSSSS!!!!

-Big Ran

*KC Jones says: This is all very true. My mother used to ask me why, whenever I went out with Big Ran, I'd come home completely annihilated and acting funny. And, as I told her one time when I was drunk, "Because he's my friend and he makes me have fun!"....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....Everyone loves Big Ran. 

ALSO, this post immediately made me think of this song and video:

*Big Ran Note: It is a true fact that on many occasions, back in the day, I would pour KC back into her house after a night out only to have her Mom wake up. If anyone needs a party starter, let me know.