Irrational Rant...Flash Mobs

F*cking flash mobs.  Honestly, whoever started this idea should be convicted of crimes against humanity.  This could be a quick list of the worst people ever:

7.  LeBron James
6.  Creator of Flash Mobs
5.  Nicolae Ceausescu
4.  Idi Amin Dad
3.  Josef Stalin
2.  Pol Pot
1.  Hitler

Just take a quick look at that video if you can stand it.  Look at these smug jerks dancing around ruining a nice day at the park for all those innocent bystanders.  Flash Mobbers like to think that they are entertaining people, but they are kidding themselves because they are doing it for their own selfish enjoyment.  "Look at me, I'm singing and dancing with a group of people in a surprise location.  Everyone loves me."

These people clearly did not receive enough attention from their parents.  Maybe they were all neglected middle children, or they all had really high achieving older siblings.  Either way, they are now horrible, horrible people who feel they have improved the lives of people around them, when, in fact, they have ruined days and perhaps lives by their terrible singing and choreographed dances.  These slobs just want attention, pure and simple.  I wish people would just ignore them or treat them like security treats fans who run on baseball fields during games; just absolutely flatten them.



I would love to slap one across the face and try to talk sense into them with somthing to the effect of this:



I think one of the local news broadcasts was teasing a flash mob story yesterday and my wife asked "Why do people even have flash mobs, its so stupid?"  I responded with, "They just want attention for themselves and I hate all of those people.  They make me want to pee on them."  That is from the bottom of my heart.

-Big Ran