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If he hadn't been naked, cops might not have found raccoon

Police: Man arrested for streaking near NASCAR track had girlfriend, masked mammal in car

NASCAR fans got an eyeful over the weekend in Bristol, Tenn., when they spotted a man streaking across a busy parking lot near the track.


Police said they arrested Joshua Greene, 27, from Parkersburg, W.Va., for streaking through the lot off Route 394 Saturday afternoon.

"I'm walking up through here and here he comes, back up and stops in front of the band waving and spinning in circles and stuff," explained Tim Lee, a witness, to WCYB-TV.

Police gave chase and caught Greene in a nearby neighborhood.

The incident got even stranger when police officers found Greene's car. In it, officers said, they discovered Greene's girlfriend and a furry companion.

"With that we also found that he and a companion were in possession of a raccoon," said Bristol Police Capt. Matt Austin.

Police called in the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency to take the masked animal into custody.

"They said his girlfriend rescued it from a park, but as far as where it actually came from, we couldn't really say for sure," Austin said.

Greene is facing charges of public intoxication, indecent exposure and possible additional charges from the wildlife agency.

I would have initially bet on this taking place in Florida, but combining Tennessee and West Virginia also totally works.  My question is, how does one rescue a raccoon?  They "rescued him from a park."  Was he being abused?  Was he trapped in something?  Raccoons are vicious, so they must have drugged it, right?  Not to revert to stereotypes, but they are from West Virginia; don't you think they could have been planning to eat the raccoon?  The naked dude was probably so pumped for coon stew that he had to celebrate with a little helicopter dick action in the parking lot.  Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

-Big Ran