So, Being Fat, Drunk, and Stupid May Be The Way to Go Through Life?

Turns Out Being Drunk and Sleepy Can Do Wonders for Your Creativity

Lifehacker - Common sense (and your irrational compulsion to, you know, keep your job) says drinking at work—or working when you're groggy—are bad news. But as Wired's Jonah Lehrer points out, recent studies reveal that being sleeping and/or drunk is great for creativity. Here's why:

When you're solving problems, your brain is built to shine a spotlight on what it considers relevant, ignoring ideas and connections that aren't likely solutions to your problem. This is a good thing, since without that focus your mind would be flooded with loads of irrelevant information when attempting to solve a simple task, and for what Lehrer calls standard analytic problems, that kind of focus is essential. When it comes to creative problem solving, however, your brain does better without that focus.

To demonstrate, researches presented two groups—one of which consisted of patients with severe attention deficits caused by damage to their prefrontal lobes—with puzzles. When presented with the more creatively challenging problem, the patients suffering from attention deficits performed significantly better:

In this case, only 43 percent of normal subjects were able to solve the problem. The patients who couldn't pay attention, however, had an 82 percent success rate. What accounts for this bizarre result? Why does brain damage dramatically improve performance on a hard creative task? ...The patients with a severe cognitive deficit... can't restrict their search. They are forced by their brain injury to consider a much wider range of possible answers. And this is why they're nearly twice as likely to have a breakthrough.

A second, similar study presented creative and analytic problems to groggy students, and a third did the same with drunk students. Like the patients with pre-frontal lobe damage, the tired and drunk students consistently performed better on creative problems. Lehrer sums it up nicely

The stupor of alcohol, like the haze of the early morning, makes it harder for us to ignore those unlikely thoughts and remote associations that are such important elements of the imagination. So the next time you are in need of insight, avoid caffeine and concentration. Don't chain yourself to your desk. Instead, set the alarm a few minutes early and wallow in your groggy thoughts. And if that doesn't work, chug a beer.

This explains quite a bit about how I actually progressed professionally through my early and mid twenties.  However, now I'm 32 and hate being hungover or tired.  If I go to bed after midnight I am useless.  How much would you pay for George Costanza's bed/desk?  I think I would easily drop $500, maybe $1,000.


-Big Ran

Coincidence or Was Obama Ridin' Dirty?

They see Obama rollin', they hatin'.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- A Chrysler 300C once leased by President Barack Obama is for sale on eBay with the eye-popping "opening bid" of $1 million.

The opening bid, which is dictated by the seller, means that bidding for the car must start at that price.

The woman who posted the car on eBay Motors, Lisa Czibor, said she has received some criticism for the high asking price but that the current owner of the car fully expects to get that amount.

Czibor said in a phone interview with CNNMoney that she is listing the car for someone else but looks forward to getting a commission on the sale. She describes herself as a "life-long Ronald Reagan old-school conservative."

"It's all about the money for me," she said

She's unlikely to get anything like a million dollars, said Craig Jackson, president of the Barrett-Jackson auto auction company.

"Maybe this car would be worth $50,000 to $100,000."

The hearse which carried the body of John F. Kennedy following his 1963 assassination in Dallas recently sold at a Barrett-Jackson auction for $160,000.

Jackson's company has sold several presidential cars and none have ever brought anything approaching that kind of money, he said.

It might help if the car, itself, were innately rare or valuable, but it's not. The car is a stock late-model Chrysler very similar to many thousands of others that are still on the road. With no presidential connection, it would be worth about $20,000 as a used car.

Also, history has yet to render a verdict on Obama's presidency.

A presidential parade limousine used by Franklin Roosevelt, a Cadillac V-16 convertible, was recently auctioned off at an RM Auctions sale in Arizona for $270,000.

The eBay listing provides a few examples of other cars that have sold for surprising amounts, though. A Peugeot once owned by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sold for £1.5 million pounds -- roughly $2.4 million.

She also mentions a 1999 Volkswagen Golf once owned by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger -- now known as Pope Benedict XVI -- which sold for $244,000.

Czibor provided CNNMoney with a scanned copy of an Illinois Certificate of Title showing Barack Obama as the lessee. The car currently has 20,800 miles on it.

She would not say how the car came into the current owner's possession.

A spokesperson for the White House did not immediately comment on the eBay listing.

Obama was a U.S. Senator representing Illinois during the time he owned the car. After driving the Chrysler sedan for over 19,000 miles Obama traded it for a 2007 Ford Escape Hybrid in the summer of 2007 as he was beginning his presidential campaign.

The Chrysler gets about 18 miles per gallon in combined city and highway driving, according to EPA estimates, while the Escape Hybrid gets about 30.

Nothing really good until the end when we see that Obama started rocking the hybrid for the start of his campaign.  At least he didn't trade it in for a Toyota Prius.  People who drive Priuses (Piri?) are f*cking douche bags.  I saw one guy on the highway last week in a Prius with the vanity plate "Hybrid." Really bro?  No sh!t.  If you wanted to be more obvious you should have a plate that reads "Small Dick."  I once heard that people who really care about the environment get a hybrid version of a regular car.  People who want to be applauded and get credit for caring about the environment get a Prius.

Wouldn't it be awesome if the Chrysler this lady was trying to sell belonged to some other dude named Barack Obama?  Or if it belonged to Barak Obamma, no C and two Ms?  A la George Costanza thinking he bought Jon Voight's car (also a Chrysler).

Two songs to get the Friday going for Obama:

-Big Ran

Mila Kunis Just Moved Up a Few Notches

I won't be seeing her new movie with JT, but this is awesome.  I guess the Russian reporter asked JT why he is making movies instead of music and Mila stepped in and said something to the effect of "Why movies?  Why not?  What kind of questions is that?  Why are you here?"

I guess she moved to the US from Ukraine when she was 7.  Every video of the Ukraine scene is Seinfeld can't be embedded, so here's the link:  http://youtu.be/fzLtF_PxbYw

I'd hit that.  Mila Kunis, not Kramer or Newman.

-Big Ran

KC Jones Says: I'm a raging heterosexual woman, but I'd hit that too. She's beautiful! Also, we have a new employee at my POE who looks just like Kramer.....a really creepy version!

Proof There Is a God

Rolling Stone -  It took Perry a while to learn to embrace her body. "I started praying for [breasts] when I was, like, 11," she says. "And God answered that prayer above and beyond, by, like, 100 times, until I was like, 'Please, stop, God. I can't see my feet anymore. Please stop!' I was a lot more rectangular then. I didn't understand my body. Someone in sixth grade called me 'Over-the-shoulder boulder holder.' I didn't know I could use them. So, what I did was, I started taping them down. How long did I tape them down for? Probably until I was about 19. And, no, I don't have any psychological pain because of it."

I'm not trying to get religious on The Takeover, but just in case anyone was on the fence about a higher power, maybe this pushes you over the edge.  Not sure.  Maybe it was just the power of positive thinking.  Whatever it is, they are real and they're SPECTACULAR!

-Big Ran

Endangered Whales Gathering Near the Cape, Poising for Attack

From Boston.com:

A record number of the critically endangered North Atlantic right whales has gathered close off the beaches of Provincetown and Truro and is expected to stay there for at least another week, said Dr. Charles “Stormy’’ Mayo, senior scientist at the Center for Coastal Studies in Provincetown.

Researchers counted more than 100 whales during an aerial survey Tuesday, with a preliminary count of more than 200 total, a little less than half of the known population. At some points the whales can be seen just a few yards offshore, to a quarter-mile out.

The whales are drawn to the area this time of year by the stores of zooplankton. Mayo said he thinks there is a large number of the whales there now because the area is particularly rich in zooplankton this year.

“We don’t understand that particularly well, but it’s clearly a combination of oceanographic processes and a lot of marine biology,’’ he said. “There are currents that bring the plankton into the area and local currents that cause them to concentrate, and it’s probably an overlapping of a lot of physical processes.Right now, the situation is good for that, just as when you grow plants in your backyard. Some years, there are better situations than others.’’

BULLSHIT.  These whales are pissed and they are getting ready for vengeance.  Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands too, cause these right whales are raping errbody up in here.  This zooplankton is just an excuse for them to loiter off the coast of the Cape and plan their next move.  I don't like it.  I don't trust them.  


Also, the marine biologists don't understand it?  That's your job bro, figure it out before its too late!  Unless the Globe found the dude posing as a marine biologist trying to impress a chick like George Costanza.  Wrong place, wrong time and his spot just got blown the fuck up.

-Big Ran