Ho-Hum, Just Another Dog Saving the Day

St. Petersburg, Florida -- A St. Petersburg dog is being called a hero for helping to save a 

17-year-old girl from an attack.

The teen was volunteering for the Friends of Strays animal shelter on a Saturday
afternoon, a few weeks ago.

As she walked down a path behind the building with Mabeline, a Rhodesian
Ridgeback mix, the girl was attacked.

Pinellas County deputies say Michael Bacon, a registered sexual predator, chased her
down, grabbed her by the hair, then pinned her down.

The teen couldn't get loose, but the 38-pound dog did, scaring the attacker off,  and allowing the girl to escape.

"To see something like that happen, it's just unfathomable," said Donna Thomas,
from Friends of Strays, adding they've never had any problems before. "...a dog,
its bark, its growl, and defending its owner, is always a deterrent."

But Mabeline, described as an "absolute sweetheart" is hardly what many think of as
a guard dog.

Since the attack, she was adopted out.

The new owner, Mary Callahan, had no idea what her new four-legged friend had
done, until 10 News told her.

"I looked at my dog and I thought you are a hero," Callahan explained.

It's a feisty side Callahan hasn't seen, but she's glad to have the extra protection.

"I like that.  I like that a lot," she said.



38 pounds of awesomeness.  I'm so pumped Maybellene was adopted and is given ham.  Awesome.


It's Friday, people, go adopt some dogs and give them ham!



-Big Ran

So, Andrei Kirilenko's Wife Is Out There

That's former NBA-er, Andrei Kirilenko's wife wearing a scream mask at her husband's Russian League game yesterday.  Two questions come to mind:

1.  Why (obviously)?
2.  Why does no one seem phased in the least?

If someone near me just busts out a Scream mask, I watch them very carefully, because they are obviously insane.  I gotta get to Russia, it just seems like a winterized version of the Wild West.  Just rip vodka and cheap cigarettes, and find me a Russian bride to wear a Scream mask, then call it a day.

Well, hey, in Russia, Scream mask wears you.

-Big Ran

Flour Bombs Over Kardashian

I hope her hair or that phat ass (and trust me, I mean phat with a P-H.  To quote Cube, "I got d!ck for days, she got ass for weeks") doesn't have a gluten allergy.  But you know what they always say, "It's Hollywoooo, it's Holywoooo, man."

Also, money shot of the two dudes vacuuming the flour off the red carpet.  Come on, get a Dyson and act like a professional for once.



-Big Ran

Stuck In My Head

Dudes, I don't care what you think, this is an f-ing jam.  I think I love it because it reminds me of when the Celts bust out the disco with Gino whenever they are putting the wood to a team in the fourth quarter.



-Big Ran

How Is This the Only One I Found

I was wondering yesterday how many thousands of "Tebow and the Jets" parodies of "Bennie and the Jets" there would be.  Frankly, I can't believe there aren't hundreds of drunken Jets fans or sad Broncos fans filming themselves with an iPhone and posting it up on YouTube already.  I could only find one.

This is going to get worse before it gets better.  However, with that said, as a Patriot's fan, I am so pumped he's going to the Jets.  Sexy Rexy, Sanchez, Cromartie and his eight kids...and Tebow.  Gonna be awesome.  I only wish Hard Knocks hadn't already covered them.

-Big Ran

Stuck In My Head

This one's for KC as a belated birthday gift.  I'm cheap as f*ck.

I know Chris Brown is a f*cking psycho woman abuser; this generations Ike Turner, but I'll be damned if this track isn't on f*cking fire.

As a bonus gift to KC and because of the Rihanna reference, I introduce possibly my favorite YouTube Video of all time.  it's at least number one on this week's list.  All time, it has to be top five, right?



-Big Ran

Headline of the Year Candidate

Menacing-looking artificial vaginas now sold at Walgreens

MSN - Drugstores. They're a great catch-all place for those random things that make errands lists. Things like toothpaste, shampoo or artificial vaginas. Yes, Walgreens is now appealing to the man who wants anonymity in his sex toy purchases, and thus, available only on its website, is the Tenga Flip Hole for Male Masturbation. For only $77.99 ($12 off!) you can own a fake vagina "designed to be the best male masturbator," "deliberately not a simple artificial vagina" and featuring an "astonishing complex inside shape." Shipping is free, so beat a path to the site soon.

I feel like we just covered this.  Would a banana fit in there?  Because if not, God will be pissed.

-Big Ran

Get Me This Game or I Will Throw a Tantrum

Evangelistic, educational, entertaining. 

At last, a board game that reveals the insanity of perhaps the greatest hoax of our times -- the unscientific "theory of evolution."

"Intelligent Design vs Evolution" is unique in that the playing pieces are small rubber brains and each team plays for "brain" cards. Each player uses his or her brains to get more brains, and the team with the most brains wins. It has been designed to make people think . . . and that's exactly what it does.

"Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron are doing much more than revealing the bankruptcy of molecules-to-man evolution. They have a greater purpose: proclaiming biblical authority and reaching the lost with the precious gospel message. Enjoy this wonderful family game as you also become better equipped to defend our precious Christian faith."
-- Ken Ham, President, Answers in Genesis. 


http://www.intelligentdesignversusevolution.com/

Stop the f*cking presses.  Let's get this straight.  Someone better go into my Amazon.com wishlist and buy me this game before I lose my f*cking mind.  Are you telling me I could be learning about the biggest hoax of our times in an Evangelistic, educational, and entertaining way and I'm not?  I'm sitting here reading Charles Darwin's "On the Origin of Species," trying my damnedest to disprove it with prayer and hand-wringing when I could be playing a game?  Score one for the good guys because it looks like my prayers were answered!  Suck it scientists!  Who's smart now?  I am, because I am learning FACTS like these:

 "True or False? Prehistoric man may have sometimes lived in caves." "False. […] Since the first man is mentioned in the Bible's historical record, there has never been a prehistoric man."  

Next time you think evolution is, you know, a scientific fact, just watch this video:

BOOM!  Ridges of the banana fit perfectly into your hand to make a hilarious and delicious hand gesture for intercourse.  Ipso, fatso, fact, no evolution.  I don't know how much more straightforward it could be.

-Big Ran

6'8" Person Dunks Basketball - Most Boring Headline Ever

So this we are getting the news of Brittney Griner dunking a basketball crammed down our throats because she is the second woman to ever dunk in an NCAA game.  Can I just state the obvious here?  She's six foot f*cking eight inches tall.  The news should be every time she doesn't dunk a basketball.  I'm not examining this like the Zapruder film, but I think she got about 12 inches off the ground.  I didn't get on Sports Center every time my buddies and I lowered a hoop to eight feet and had a dunk contest.  And our sh!t was hot.  Reverses, self-passes, off the backboard; everything short of jumping over Kia's.

There is no doubt that Griner is a very unique women's player and a major defensive presence, but let's be honest, anyone who thinks she could play in the NBA is outside of their minds.  I don't think a match uop with Blake Griffin would go too well.



-Big Ran

Stuck In My Head

Why?  I don't know.  Maybe I heard it on the radio yesterday.  Happy Hump Day, bitches.

-Big Ran