Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Marathon Update (Unintentional Irrational Rant)


I don't want this to turn into an irrational rant, but I am well past my wit's end with the marathon talk in the office.  We have an intern that ran it as well and she wasn't in the office yesterday, so today is her day to shine.  By shine, I mean wear not only a warm up jacket, but a running shirt, and warm up pants, all with "Boston Marathon" or "BAA" emblazoned on them.  This is all I heard about at lunch.  Running through Wellesley, cramping calves, crying when she finished.  Man, oh, man, enough already.  I can't take it anymore and I have just started making really passive aggressive comments about it, like asking her if she ran the marathon because I hadn't heard about it.  That I flipped over for 3 minutes on TV to watch a Kenyan win, then went right back to the Sox game.  If you haven't figured this out yet, I'm a total dick.

Another thing I have absolutely no interest in hearing about is if you went to watch the marathon or ran part of it with a friend.  So, you stood nut-to-butt with people in a crowd and WATCHED people jog by?  Holy shit, you should get the key to the city.  Yeah, you really played a major role in pushing people to their athletic potential by wasting your day watching people exercise.  To be honest, I think I may be more help if I bring a lawn chair to the gym, park it next to the treadmills, and just cheer for people there.  Who needs more inspiration: the people running a race they have been training the last few months or years for, or the people trying to crank out a few miles after working all day and then commuting home.  I'll go with the latter.

Today I also had the stories about people who ran with their friends for a couple of miles to keep them going. Piss off.  You are absolutely trying to take credit for them finishing the race.  Yeah, you are totally the John Stockton of the marathon, just dishing out assists to everyone who couldn't have done it without you.

So, enough.  Enough with it all.  You are all really good at exercising.  Except you lazy fucks who watched it in person.  You're lazy and couldn't think of anything better to do on a day off.

Look at that, this is today's irrational rant.

-Big Ran

1 comment:

  1. I completely agree with you Big Ran about the marathon. I actually find runners in general pretty annoying. They constantly talk about their training, how they stretch and what race they are running next. To all those runners out there, all the non runners could care less and you are boring! I play soccer and you don’t hear me talking about how many goals I got or what muscles are soar from my game last night because I know no one cares. Side note: you will never see me running 26 miles unless I am being chased by someone. When you are old and you can’t walk because your knees are destroyed from all those marathons you ran, I will be sure to walk by and wave.

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