Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I Want an Electronic Cigarette So Bad!



I know you are supposed to use an adverb there (Badly), but doesn't it sound better the way it is?  I think so.  Anyway, I don't smoke, never have other than smoking once in a bar when I was 19 back when you could smoke in bars and I had a fake ID.  Later that night I managed to throw up in my friend's back yard and sleep in the back seat of my car for no real reason other than man did that butt F me up.  So, I have no desire to smoke for real, but wouldn't one of those electronic cigarettes be sweet?  You could have all the benefits of smoking (looking AWESOME) without second hand smoke, stinking, and cancer.

Let me tell you, I would drag on this thing ALL THE TIME.  I would especially do it at work just to freak people out.  Imagine people walking into a conference room for a meeting and you are in there first puffing away with your feet up on the conference table?  How great would it be to see the looks on people's faces?  I'll tell you, it would be AMAZING.  As it is, when I go out with buddies (back when we actually could go out anyway) all we typically do is talk to random people and/or act super hammered for our own enjoyment.  I would love to puff on this bad boy and talk to smokers outside and complain about the no smoking laws, taxes on butts, that would be great.

A while ago they would always run ads that you could get a free one if you CALL NOW!  My wife never let me call and that's too bad because I know she would takes hauls off of a fake cigarette too.  So, if anyone wants to know what to get me for a present, now you know; an electronic cigarette.

Plus, how can it be bad if Danny Bonaduce and Jose Canseco endorse it?


-Big Ran

PS:  Without spell check, I would have spelled cigarette 14 different ways in this post.

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