This rant is about stupid FB status updates. I don't know exactly what is WRONG with the general public, but there are some things that no one cares to read about. I'll touch upon some of my favorite topics (read: the posts that make me want to punch babies):
1. Anything graphic about potty training your child: Um, would it be acceptable for me to post about my bathroom habits? Riiighht, I didn't think so. I don't care about Little Timmy doing poopy in the potty and I definitely don't care to see a picture of the blessed event. I have deleted 'friends' for this particular offense.
2. Shout outs to people who you live with: Is it really necessary to give your husband or wife a "Happy Anniversary" or "Happy Birthday" shout out, ESPECIALLY on your OWN page in the form of a status update? Listen, if you insist upon going onto their page and writing it on their wall, I still think it's stupid, but when you're putting it as your own status update, you need to get a life. The last time I checked, husbands and wives live together and will most likely run into each other at some point on these special days so they'll be able to say it in person. "Happy Birthday to my stunning wife!" or "Happy Anniversary to the best husband in the world!" are obnoxious, ridiculous, and more often than not; LIES (you're not married to anyone stunning and your spouse is far from the best and neither are you, so deal w/ it).....
3. Updates regarding every single thing a person is doing: "Going to the grocery store", "Doing Laundry", "Getting a haircut", "Doing the dishes"..ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....oops, sorry, your life bores me....Guess what? I do all the same things but I am sane enough to realize that no one cares!
4. Updates about people dying: Ok, this is truly crossing the line. We know it's sad when someone dies...I am very sympathetic and empathetic to these situations and I truly do feel awful when anyone is going through a loss. However, when you're 30-something and a grandparent (in their 90's) dies, and you continuously post things about it, like you 'can't believe it' or you were 'never expecting it', I don't know what to tell you. Are you unaware that life ends with death and that everyone dies? Or perhaps you think that the normal life expectancy is 200 years old. I don't know what else to think, but this is a little much. I don't have a problem with posting about someone who just died and saying "Rest in Peace" or something nice and thoughtful, or remembering a person via FB on the anniversary of their death, but all this shenanigans above is best left to private conversations with people who are as naive and ridiculous as you.
5. A recent "DISLIKE" of mine: "Map My Run".....again, no one cares. Like Big Ran mentioned in a Boston Marathon Rant, "congrats, you're really good at exercising". I exercise too, but I realize that no one really cares. I can run 2 miles, I'm not posting it every time I do it. This has been popping up on more and more people's pages (and some of the people I really like!) but I just don't like IT! I'm happy they are out there, taking care of themselves, etc but it's just unneccessary.
6. Posts bragging about possessions: This includes, but is not limited to, updates about how awesome the person's house/car/boat/vacation is and is typically accompanied by a tremendous amount of pictures of said possession with stupid captions. Again, no one cares. Or, the people who do care are just as materialistic as you! It's totally fine to post a picture of your new home, let your friends and family see it. But there's a fine line between sharing and bragging and many people are crossing it on a regular basis.
7. "Checking In" to places: Awesome, you're on the Massachusetts Turnpike....and now you're at P.F. Chang's, oh wait, now you're at the mall...I can't keep up with you! Why is this necessary? Again, unless you are typing something funny in the 'Checking In' place, I don't see the need for it. Again, the people who need to know where you are already know and why does EVERYONE else have to know as well now? Also, how stupid are people? Why would you constantly be informing a list of people (some of whom you don't even like or know that well but were dumb enough to accept on FB) about your whereabouts? I'd like to know the number of houses that have been broken into due to this, or worse, has anyone ever been followed and/or stalked? Smarten up! Especially you ladies!!
There are so many other things I could list, but I'll stop with these, the major items. So, if you've been deleted off of my 'friends' list, you might now have an idea as to why.....
-KC Jones
In addition to all the correct items you discussed on horrible FB behaviors I feel you missed one rather important one. I personally can NOT stand the obsessive "like"rs. You know the ones who within seconds of my posting a status message, picture or even a comment on a friend's wall suddenly "like"s what I say. I think FB is well aware of what would happen if they really did add a dislike button. I mean I have so many people hidden for their ridiculousness I wonder why I still have them as a friend. Anyway back to the whole "like" thing. Another problem I have with the obsessive "Like"rs is that I would really "like" to know what you actually "like" about whatever I posted. Was it that you too have almost stepped on a dead bat while barefoot? Were you thoroughly impressed with how hot I look with an athletic headband on my forehead? Did you think my post on a friend's page was funny and you're jealous that you didn't think of it yourself so you have to "like" it? I mean really, what the hell? If you have time to click "like" you have time to give a reason. And remember because is not an answer.
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