This summer has been absolutely perfect weather wise. Nobody in their right mind could honestly or seriously complain. Summer means hot and humid weather with plenty of sunshine. This is the time of year we all pine away for throughout the months of December through February or March.
For me and many others, the best way to spend these days is by the water. Whether it's a pool or a beach, count me in. I love the water, it's so calming, healing, and relaxing.....But, the beach can also be the biggest shit show going! Because I'm a jerk, I thoroughly enjoy people watching and engaging in commentary with my friends. I've decided to kick it up a notch this year so I snapped some pictures of the lunatics we saw during one of our beach days. I've chosen the top three from a recent trip to one of the beaches in Rhode Island.
Before anyone says or thinks I'm mean, let me just remind you: If these people DIDN'T think they were awesome and/or DIDN'T want to be seen, they wouldn't be parading around like this:
Ummmm....what? You should have seen this dude's female counterpart. They were happily oiling each other up and Jersey Shore was in the HOUSEEE!!!! And after their day at the beach, they went home and she shot him up with 'roids and he applied more self-tanner to her body and they lived happily ever after. For some reason, I have no doubt in my mind that this dude is looking into hair plugs so he can hang out with the REAL Guidos.
Ok, the only time these shorts would be appropriate on a male is if/when they were being used as boxer briefs UNDER a pair of regulation shorts or pants. I guess these nuthuggers MIGHT be acceptable in Europe, but guess what? We're in the goold old U.S.A. and if you dress like this, you're automatically on the chopping block.
As a woman with respect for other women and sympathy for the body issues we ALL have, I feel slightly bad about posting this picture. Anyone who knows me knows that I do NOT judge people by their weight and I think it's awful when people make fun of others because of it. HOWEVER, as a woman with common sense and respect for the eyesight and stomach of those around me, I know better than to parade around like this. Listen, we ALL have trouble spots, and obviously, women seem to have more of these trouble spots than men. This woman shouldn't have to stay home and hide her body. However, if I were her, I would have been sporting a really nice cover up. As it is, I throw on a cute little beach skirt as soon as I get out of the water and when I was slightly more insecure than I currently am, I used to opt for a 'skirted' bathing suit bottom. Because if I don't want to see my cellu-ass, I'm gonna have to assume no one else does either!
So, in closing, I'd like to say: I love the summer, I love the water, I love the beach, and I ADORE people watching.
-KC Jones
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