Showing posts with label Hide Yo Wives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hide Yo Wives. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Hide Yo' Husbands, Cause She's Mutilatin' Err'body!

Police: CA woman cut off husband's penis

Updated: Wednesday, 13 Jul 2011, 6:37 AM EDT
Published : Wednesday, 13 Jul 2011, 6:34 AM EDT
GARDEN GROVE, Calif. (AP) - Police say a Southern California woman drugged her estranged husband, tied him to a bed, cut off his penis with a knife and threw it down a garbage disposal.
Garden Grove police Lt. Jeff Nightengale tells City News Service the attack occurred Monday night. He says 48-year-old Catherine Kieu Becker was booked at the Orange County Jail for investigation of aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse.
The 51-year-old victim's name was not released but Nightengale says he is in serious condition after surgery at a hospital.
Nightengale says the woman told responding officers the victim "deserved it."
The woman is due in court Wednesday. A telephone listing for her residence could not be located.

Read more: http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/national/police-ca-woman-cut-off-husbands-penis-25-apx-20110713#ixzz1S01MDBDO

Having been the recent victim of a serial cheater and con artist I cannot say that I blame this woman. We have no idea what this man (now unick*) has done to her.  I don't know which charge I like the best, but I find them all awesome. I am not condoning this behavior, I'm just saying that when you hurt someone repeatedly and violate and victimize them, there's no telling when they'll snap. You know what they say, if you mess with the bull, you're going to get the horns! On second thought, I feel like my whole life is "Aggravated Mayhem" (caused by someone else) lately, so that's definitely my favorite charge.

Here are the questions I have after reading this article:

1. Are penises garbage disposal safe?
2. How was she able to do all of this without him fighting back?
3. What exactly IS "Aggravated Mayhem" and why does it sound so funny?
4. If the genital was put down the disposal, what did they do at the hospital? I've never heard of a penis transplant. Even in death, you know the average man isn't going to be donating that to science or others.
5. Is this woman related to Lorena Bobbitt? I'm sure you all remember that incident.
*Unick: According to Urban Dictionary.com:  Americanized version of the word "Eunuch".

1. A man with his balls (testes) removed. Often used in royal courts to guard female royalty and concubines.


2. A man who is incapable of reproduciton.


3. A guy who doesn't seem to be interested in women, but also excluding homosexuality. They are just not the dating type.


4. A gutless wonder.


5. The third sex. The Non-sex.
"Mike is such a Unick, he's never dated a girl in his entire life!"


-KC Jones

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Hide Yo' Wives, 'cause He's Terminatin' Err'body....

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver Separate 

Despite the fact that the Celtics lost last night, I am in a wonderful mood today! Why, you ask? Well, if you're a female and you've heard the news, you know why!!!

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver Separate

 
Yup! That's right ladies! We've only had to wait 25 years to get this piece of man meat back on our plates! Who cares that you can barely understand a word he says and that he's a human robot. Seriously, what's not to love? I don't know how I'm going to break the news to Mr. KC Jones, but I think we're through! And husbands? Hide your kids, hide your wives, because he's terminating err'body up in this place! Big Ran, this includes you too!

Rumor has it they've been having trouble for a while, but I think Arnold was growing more and more terrified of Maria's strong jawline, which seems to be getting bigger than his! Seriously, she's like a human nutcracker with that jaw, not to mention the spitting image of Ted Kennedy. Could you imagine being Arnold, waking up with Ted Kennedy's clone each morning?
 
And just when I thought the news couldn't get any better, I discover this juicy piece of information on People Magazine's Website:  "there have been reports he'll re-start his movie career, including a role in another Terminator film." YESSSSSSSSSSS! 
 
I can die happy if he also resurrects his body building career:
 
Funny, the Nazis used to strike this same pose....
Who needs Michael Jordan when you have Arnold wearing your kicks?
It's so nice he did this naturally.
Does this make my jaw look big?
 -KC Jones