No Rapture Last Week, But Proof There is a God

@SHAQSHAQ

Shaq ooout. #ShaqRetireshttp://www.tout.com/9944wo

2 minutes ago via Tout.comFavorite Retweet Reply
Boston.com - Celtics center Shaquille O'Neal announced on his Twitter feed minutes ago that he is retiring from the NBA.
"We did it," said O'Neal. "Nineteen years, baby. I want to thank you very much. That's why I'm telling you first, I'm about to retire. Love ya. Talk to you soon."
Listen, I actually like Shaq a lot and I was OK with the signing last year by the Celts.  Obviously it didn't work out on the court so much since he played 5 minutes after February 1st and his presence was one reason for the Perk trade.
On the plus side, he got to pretend he was a statue in Barbara Square (How he originally tweeted it):

He participated in the pine wood derby contest with some Boy Scouts:

And, just before the playoffs, he rehabbed hard with the help of his wife, Hoopz:

So, Shaq, Godspeed, best of luck becoming a full time volunteer sheriff, and thank you for the chance the Cs have to sign another over-the-hill big man for next season.

-Big Ran

Now I Ain't Sayin' She a Gold Digger,

Just a quick follow up to Big Ran's post about the Shaqnastics tournament that was being held this weekend with Shaq and his 'girlfriend', "Hoopz":

Hey Shaq, I'd get tested STAT if I were you considering this trick competed for and won the affection of FLAVOR FLAV on season one of "Flavor of Love". Flavor Flav as a grand prize? Seriously, unless she was legally blind and deaf, how could she even STOMACH the hot tub with him (among other things)? Money talks.. and I think she's furthering her fame whore tendencies by 'shaqing up' with you! (pun intended)

No idea who the dude is on the left, but he's definitely better looking than FLAVORRR FLAAAAVV!!

-KC Jones

Big Ran Note:  Love the term "Shaqnastics."  Add that to Webster's ASAP.

F*ck it, Let's Go Back to Boston

It ain't a series until someone loses at home.  Let's see how everyone performs in front of real fans rather than seats wrapped in white t-shirts.  You know what told me all I needed to know?  When the game was over and the Cs were walking toward the tunnel through the stands and there was only one fan talking shit.  Can you imagine that happening in Boston?  No.  Freaking.  Way.  Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and in LeBron's case, hide yo mom too, Celtics gonna be rapin' errbody up in the Garden on Thursday.

-Big Ran

Update:  So game three isn't until Saturday.  That may be a very good thing.  It will give Shaq time to work on his cheer leading routine he was working on a few days ago.  Who cares that he couldn't play in game two.  How's the calf, Shaq?