Monday, March 26, 2012

I Don't Know How I Feel About This

Not to go all "Dawson's Creek" all over your asses, but I really don't know how I feel about this cover. I've been going back and forth since I heard it on Thursday.

So, I guess I'll go with the pros first.

1. She doesn't drop an N-Bomb. At least that I could tell. There was one spot early where the sound was dropped, so I'm not 100% sure.

2. She swears. I honestly didn't think she would. I love swearing, so that's a positive for me.

3. She has some flow.

The cons:

1. The Yankees hat. It's not because I am a Red Sox fan, that sh!t is just played out unless you are actually a fan or at least from NYC.

2. A few cringe-worthy moments, like throwing up the Jay-Z Roc symbol. I wasn't feelign that. Also, throwing the Fish Filet line to the audience and they didn't say anything. Tough.

3. Her guitar player.

Overall, I give her credit for giving it a shot, but I won't be downloading her version.

-Big Ran

It's All About the Benjamin....

...and yes, I know that the real song title is plural, but for me, it truly was all about the Benjamin this weekend. That's right Takeover readers, the most unlucky person in terms of money, yours truly, won $100 on a $2 scratch ticket. Naturally, because I never win ANYTHING, you would have thought I was a millionaire.

I stopped at the package store near my house before going to a friend's house on Saturday night. They didn't have my Shock Top Raspberry Wheat, so I left and stopped at another one I'd never been to before. In addition to my 6 pack (of which I consumed only 1.5- my limit), I bought five $2 scratch tickets. I told the cashier I didn't care which ticket it was as long as it was 5 of the same one. Well, he made a great choice as I won ten dollars ten times on one of the tickets! Best night ever. I did hallucinate on the last $10 though and thought it said $10,000. Could you even imagine? Yeah, me neither.

The winning ticket!

Maybe my lucky streak will continue, I mean, after all, I AM a winner at life. I get to sit in a cube all day!

-KC Jones

This Is How We Do It....

I love Kendrick Perkins, I hate the Miami Heat. Therefore, I love what happened during last night's OKC/Miami matchup. I love that DWade is giving Perk the "stare down" as he follows him down the court.

Really? What are you gonna do about it D-Bag? I REALLY hope that Russell Westbrook was taunting him as well, knowing that Perk-A-Lurk was there to protect him. The best part of this incident was what happened after the game when Perk was asked about it and said that it wasn't intentional, he just happened to be there. (Looking for that clip, but can't find it yet).

Hey Danny, thanks again for trading Perk away. While it's not Jeff Green's fault he has a heart issue, and while he was looking real nice dressed up and sitting on the C's bench last night for moral support, the trade NEVER made any sense. PERK FOR PRESIDENT! Ainge is Strange!

-KC Jones

At least he's aging well......

(Ir)RATIONAL Rant....Time After Time

So, I've been at my company for almost 11 years and in that time I've had 4 different jobs. While I love so many of the people I work with and generally have a good time with them, I cannot STAND the b.s. that is found in Corporate America. So, imagine my disgust when I was informed by my boss that we now have to start keeping time sheets. Um, okay....the last time I checked, I am salaried and I know, that in my group at least, we all put in more than our share of time at the office or working from home during our month/quarter/year end close processes. We can account for our time, we're adults, not 5 year olds, and we don't work with clients in a billable hours type environment. Oh well, I guess there's NOTHING better for moral than being made to feel like 'big brother's watching', right?

Now, in addition to figuring out how to log all of our extra hours at night and during the weekends during our super busy times, we're left to also figure out how to justify spending time on facebook, online, running out for Iced Tea, and writing awesome blog posts. I guess I'll just learn to pee extra fast so I can put less time down for that and MORE time down for recreational activities. (All of the miscellaneous activities will be grouped as "Professional Development" and/or "Teambuilding".

Why do I feel like a "meeting with the Bobs" is in our near future?

This is not the first time this has happened to us, and I just have nothing else to say about it other than it's stupid. Yup, STUPID...I said it....maybe I am 5!

P.S. If the consequences include a lay off in time for summer; sign me up!

-KC Jones

Stuck In My Head....

This is TOTALLY random, and it's been making numerous appearances in my head since last week. I have no idea why, but I love this song. It reminds me of my early 20's and being sh*tfaced--and ironically, most of my sh*ttiest nights were spent in the company of Big Ran!

Make sure you pay attention to the video, especially the part where Missy Elliot's head is missing. What was the point of that? Adding Ludacris to this song made it a slam dunk as well. I mean, his rhymes are, as usual, priceless and the visual presentation is just ridiculous. I will admit that Missy rapping about sex in regards to men is VERY uncomfortable for me.....just sayin'....

Anyway, I anticipate this song being stuck in my head for at LEAST another week. It's always bad when the song stuck in your head is one that you can't sing out loud.

-KC Jones

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Role Model....

Rihanna: 'The more I got naked, the more comfortable I felt'

Between her stage shows and bikini-clad vacations, it’s clear to anyone that’s been paying attention to Rihanna that she’s not afraid to show a little skin.

In fact, the “S&M” singer recently admitted to UK magazine Women’s Fitness that she was able to accept her body by flaunting it. She explained:“My way probably won’t work for most people… but the more I got naked the more comfortable I felt.”

The singer, 24, often posts super sexy (and sometimes deemed inappropriate) photos of herself on Twitter. She defended this behavior as well, telling the magazine: “I just had to face my fear. You always find something wrong, you always find something you’re uncomfortable with, and one thing turns into another and you get embarrassed and self-conscious about it — you feel like everybody can see what you see.”

Ok, so obviously she is young, in great shape, and talented, but enough is enough. When I read things like this I am so happy that I have no intention of having children because 1. I don't want them looking up to people like this and 2. I don't want them turning into someone like this. I don't know which one I'm more afraid of actually. Seriously though, what happened to her?

1. She's still involved in some capacity with our generation's Ike Turner. Apparently, she must have never seen the pictures of herself after the abuse because she's too busy putting out scantily clad pictures instead.

2. She's sending out ridiculous pictures of herself on Twitter. Honestly, could you imagine the ego that comes along with that sort of behavior? Ok chick, you 'faced your fear', now enough.

3. At least things like this help me understand why there all of these stupid females on Facebook posting inappropriate pictures of themselves, fishing for attention and compliments.

4. Why am I surprised? With songs like "S&M" and "Birthday Cake" (which I actually do like, but admit is completely inappropriate given that the remix is with Ike Turner), this is just par for the course.

I don't know what Big Ran's opinion will be, but I'm not a prude....I just think this is just ridiculous and her comments explaining her actions really burn my ass.

REALLY?

-KC Jones

Friday, March 23, 2012

Closing Time

I'm looking at a half-empty bottle of Courvoisier, which means that we are just about out of time.

Have a great weekend, adopt some dogs!

-Big Ran

Geraldo Rivera: Investigative Journalist...Ummm What?

Geraldo Rivera, ~~investigative journalist~~ vapid douche bag, tweeted this about Trayvon Martin, the teenager shot and killed by George Zimmerman, essentially for being African American and having the gall to carry around a bag of Skittles, an iced tea, and wear a hooded sweatshirt.

Geraldo really nails this issue on the head, huh? Great responses though:

Is Geraldo just letting his mustache go to his head or what? Look, I don't like to be serious on this blog, or really ever, but this case is just outrageous.

This poor kid was shot in cold blood because this crazy-ass racist p.o.s. didn't think black people should be in his neighborhood. Nobody helped the kid and Zimmerman was questioned and released. People, we still live in a f*cked up, backwards-ass, racist country, just look at most of the people that write in to this "Yo, Is This Racist?". His great response to Geraldo:

"DEAR GERALDO, I HOPE YOU GET MUSTACHE CANCER"

Damn. I got all serious. Go out and adopt some puppies and feed them ham, god damn it!

-Big Ran

India Doing What India Does Best...Be Crazy as F*ck

New Delhi - In India's remote and poverty-stricken areas, health resources and qualified doctors can be scarce. Many people still rely on faith-based healers, who sometimes promote outlandish theories about how the body works.

Shyamali Singh is a high school student in West Bengal's Midnapur district who holds a wild belief about dog bites.

He said getting bitten by a dog leads to the birth of puppies. The victim gets puppies inside his body and becomes like a mad dog.

So-called "puppy pregnancy syndrome" has a long history in the locality.

Psychiatrist Kumar Kanti Ghosh helped document the phenomenon for an article in the medical journal Lancet in 2003. His interest started when a nine-year-old boy came to his clinic about 10 days after being bitten by a domesticated dog.

"There was no issue of rabies," Ghosh said. "But he believed that he had developed a pregnancy with a puppy inside his abdomen. His parents said that sometimes he was barking like a dog and was crawling on his four feet.”

Farmer Gopal Singh is one of Singh's patients who was bitten by a dog about seven years ago. He said he went running to the faith healer- who explained that puppies would be born inside his stomach and he would become like a mad dog and die."

So, would the puppies be half human and half puppy or would they be straight puppy? I guess the combo could be interesting, but I think I would prefer just regular puppies. If you don't think I'm smearing a raw steak over my wife's arms tonight and hoping for some more puppies, you don't know me well.

-Big Ran

PS: If you don't think I live up to my self-imposed nickname of "Picasso of YouTube" now, then you need to move to Communist Russia, because I pulled this one out of the ether, man.

PPS: I don't know how many rupees you would have to pay me to go to India, but I don't know if there is a big enough number.

Ho-Hum, Just Another Dog Saving the Day

St. Petersburg, Florida -- A St. Petersburg dog is being called a hero for helping to save a

17-year-old girl from an attack.

The teen was volunteering for the Friends of Strays animal shelter on a Saturday
afternoon, a few weeks ago.

As she walked down a path behind the building with Mabeline, a Rhodesian
Ridgeback mix, the girl was attacked.

Pinellas County deputies say Michael Bacon, a registered sexual predator, chased her
down, grabbed her by the hair, then pinned her down.

The teen couldn't get loose, but the 38-pound dog did, scaring the attacker off, and allowing the girl to escape.

"To see something like that happen, it's just unfathomable," said Donna Thomas,
from Friends of Strays, adding they've never had any problems before. "...a dog,
its bark, its growl, and defending its owner, is always a deterrent."

But Mabeline, described as an "absolute sweetheart" is hardly what many think of as
a guard dog.

Since the attack, she was adopted out.

The new owner, Mary Callahan, had no idea what her new four-legged friend had
done, until 10 News told her.

"I looked at my dog and I thought you are a hero," Callahan explained.

It's a feisty side Callahan hasn't seen, but she's glad to have the extra protection.

"I like that. I like that a lot," she said.

38 pounds of awesomeness. I'm so pumped Maybellene was adopted and is given ham. Awesome.

It's Friday, people, go adopt some dogs and give them ham!

-Big Ran