Office Etiquette

I received the following email this morning from a friend of mine here in the cube farm:

From: Awesome, Amy  

Sent: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 9:22 AM
To: Jones, KC
Cc:
Subject: Blog ideas

 In the office etiquette piece of your blog could you please write something about loud employees and speakerphone users.

 Thanks!

Because she is a huge supporter of our endeavors here at "The Takeover", and because I wholeheartedly agree with her, I am more than happy to oblige. 

These days, many of us work in cubes rather than private offices (although, Big Ran is definitely running the show at his P.O.E (place of employment) and I think he is big pimpin' like Jay-Z...he might even have his own suite for people to come, lay down, and read). Anyway, this sort of environment can be noisy and distracting, and it's something we just have to deal with. Most of the time it's fine, and if you work with cool peeps, it's fun to have people around who you can just chat with from over the cube walls. However, every once in a while, you have a person who is so busy and so important, that they have to conduct every single phone call they make or receive via speaker phone. One word for this: UNACCEPTABLE! This is inconsiderate and rude, and there's no way to justify it as far as I'm concerned*.

A few comments regarding these situations:

1. When someone is on speaker phone, they tend to shout, so the person on the other end can hear them better. Most of the time, this shouting is so loud, the entire floor can hear the conversation. Also, calls conducted via speaker phone tend to be peppered with words and phrases such as "what?" and "can you repeat that?" Can you say distraction? Also, can you say ineffective?
2. If a cube neighbor is on the phone or trying to have a conversation in their own cell, it is extremely difficult for him/her to concentrate because they can't hear anything but Loudmouth Linda or Megaphone Mike next to them.
3. There is no consideration given to the person on the other end of the call. I, for one, will point blank tell people to pick up the receiver if they call me on speaker phone. Couple of reasons for this: First, I don't want to aggravate the people around the person who is calling me, (because I'm so loud anyways), and secondly, I don't want everyone hearing me! I hate the sound of my voice, assume other hate it as well, and additionally, what I'm saying isn't everyone else's business. Even if the person calling has an office, I put the kibosh on speaker phone immediately.
4. If you aren't using your hands to hold the receiver, what are you using them for when you're on a call? You can't possibly be typing or doing anything else meaningful because you should be concentrating on what the other person is saying.
5. *There is one exception to my ban on the use of speaker phone:  people missing their arms or hands--I mean, if you don't have hands and/or arms, I can understand that you might need to employee this method. However, ....BOTH arms or BOTH hands have to be missing. If you have one, you can pick up the receiver. I know I'm a jerk, but after almost 10 years in the corporate jungle, you have to feel my pain.

Megaphone Mike- WRONG!

Loudmouth Lou- FAIL!

Doesn't even know how to use speakerphone, but still a problem.

CORRECT! And look at how happy everyone is!

-KC Jones