The first, from Chicago (pic from the NY Daily News and the first story I saw was from Channel 10 in Tampa (emphasis is mine):
Big-breasted Woman at Chicago Trial Spurs Objection
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| Daddy like! |
A Chicago lawyer says his opponent in a small claims case is using an unfair tactic by
sitting a buxom woman next to him at counsel's table.
Attorney Thomas Gooch says the woman's sole purpose "is to draw the attention of the jury
away from the relevant proceedings" -- a dispute over a used car. He asks Cook County
Circuit Judge Anita Rivkin-Carothers to order the woman to sit in the gallery with other
spectators.
In responding to the pretrial motion, attorney Dmitry N. Feofanov said the woman is his
paralegal assistant and contends Gooch cites no "good faith legal argument" why she can't
sit at counsel's table. Feofanov, who in the past has described himself as a "consumer
protection lawyer," asked Rivkin-Carothers to impose sanctions on Gooch for his motion.
Gooch told the Chicago Daily Law Bulletin he wasn't objecting to the woman because she is
buxom, but because he doesn't think she is a paralegal.
"Personally, I like large breasts," he said. "However, I object to somebody I don't think is
a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table -- when there's already two lawyers there --
dressed in such a fashion as to call attention to herself."
Gooch said he and Feofanov have faced off in mandatory arbitration. At the time, he objected
to the woman sitting at the counsel table and arbitrators asked her to leave, he said.
Feofanov said he "didn't believe it is professional to try a case in the press." However, he
turned over public documents on the case to the Daily Law Bulletin.
According to Feofanov, the paralegal, who the Law Bulletin says is identified in documents as
Daniella Atencia, has been paid as a paralegal in two court orders by Cook County judges.
Both times, the rate for the paralegal was $115 an hour.
For Headline #2 I will work on some pics like I did for the last story, true journalism from The Takeover
today:
Man says pants, car missing after 'liaison' with big-thighed woman in Fort Pierce
TC Palm - The tale of "misfortune" began with a trip to Fort Pierce and a woman with "real big thighs."
Mixed in the plot were an hourly "lodging establishment" and gin drinks. In the end, a 24-year-old man told police his silver trousers, borrowed rental car, cash and other items went missing.
That, according to statements in a recently released police report, is what played out about a week ago in the Sunrise City.
A 30-year-old man told Fort Pierce police he lent his rented Dodge Avenger May 19 to his 24-year-old friend, who he said "encountered some misfortune" and the car was stolen.
The friend, a Vero Beach resident, said he borrowed the vehicle about 5 p.m. and drove to Fort Pierce to meet a "female acquaintance." When he arrived, the woman he was supposed to meet didn't answer the phone.
Seeking "female companionship," the man drove to a park at North 13th Street and Avenue M where he saw females "'hanging out.'"
He spied a woman in her early to mid 20s with "real big thighs" and a light complexion. They ended up in the Dodge, and the man said they "talked for about an hour before he 'talked her out of her pants.'"
They drove to a "lodging establishment" that rents rooms by the hour, and he gave the woman with "real big thighs" $30 for a room.
Both imbibed several drinks containing gin, which is created by distilling rye or other grains with juniper berries and which some mix with tonic or use in making martinis.
The man got intoxicated and they engaged in a "liaison," the nature of which was not detailed in the report, before falling asleep.
When he woke, the woman with "real big thighs" was missing, as were his rental car keys, silver trousers, gold bracelet, watch, $282 in cash and the Dodge Avenger.
The man said he didn't give the woman with "real big thighs" permission to take the vehicle or anything else.
The man's silver pants, valued at about $50, were size 36, and the report didn't indicate whether they'd fit a woman with "real big thighs."
-Big Ran
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