Office Etiquette....know your (cube's ) role....

I've been preparing this blog in my mind for a long time, and it's finally time to get it posted. Throughout my ten plus years in Corporate America, I've noticed that a LOT of people seem to think it's a good idea to use their cubes and/or offices for things OTHER than work. I'd like to touch upon the various things I've witnessed over the years & steer everyone in a better directions. This post is going to be devoted to what cubes/offices should NOT be used for:

It is a cube, not a....

1. Nail Salon: Ladies (and some gentlemen), there will never be a time when it's appropriate OR hygienic for you to be sitting in your cube clipping your nails. This is gross, no one wants to listen to it, and I'm definitely sure no one wants your clippings all around the office. This is a pretty common offense and I'd like to put an end to it. I've also seen some females actually painting their nails in their cubes. I'm pretty sure that no one wants to inhale those fumes either. Even worse, in my P.O.E, there was (he is no longer with us), a guy known to take his shoes and socks off and clip his TOENAILS! Yup, you read that correctly! And then there was an incident where my good friend witnessed a man with his shoes and socks removed applying DEODORANT to his FEET!?! I don't know whether I should be happy that he's that considerate regarding b.o. or if I should be offended that he's apparently sweating from the bottom of his feet. 

2. 2. Dentist's Office: If you have some oral hygiene issues to attend to, please seek out the nearest bathroom. If I hear you flossing in your cube, I might throw up, on you. I'm happy that you are taking good care of your teeth, but a public forum such as a cube or office is not the right place.
3. 3. A Kitchen or Restaurant: We all have eaten or do eat in our cubes or offices, that is fine. However, it should be noted that any real food preparation should be done at home or down in the cafeteria. I cannot tell you the number of times someone has brought something particularly offensive smelling and hunkered down in their cube for feeding time. We used to work with a ridiculously awesome Asian dude named "Nam" who literally brought a whole lobster in, dismantled it by hand up on our floor (as opposed to the cafeteria--not to mention that whole lobsters really don't belong in the workplace), threw it in the trash in the communal kitchen when he was done. The entire 5th floor smelled so bad and he just didn't understand why this wasn't appropriate. It was awesome, in an awful way.

4. A Club: If you want to listen to music as you work, cool....but remember, not everyone else wants to listen to music(particularly yours) as well. All it takes is an inexpensive pair of headphones to keep people happy. Or, if headphones don't work for you, how about the music on very quietly? I have experienced this situation one too many times, and I can't take it.  If I have to be trapped in a cube, I should NOT have to be forced to listen to someone's obnoxious country music all day. The only exception to this rule is when a 40'something chick who is TOTALLY trapped in the 1980's has a 'boombox' (yup!) on her desk that is playing the soothing sounds of Glen Danzig! YUP! That happened here!

5. A Conference Room: I believe we've addressed this in earlier posts, but it's worth mentioning again. There are conference rooms for a reason. And again, with this comes the rant about the speaker phone function. Speaker phone=Dire need for a conference room.

If people just follow the rules we lay out here at "The Takeover", our P.O.E.s would be much more enjoyable.

-KC Jones