A Tough Week for Look-a-Likes

Earlier this week, when the Bruins visited the White House, to be honored as the 2011 Stanley Cup Champions, Tim Thomas decided to pass due to political reasons.  There was obviously a huge uproar about it that I'm not going to get in to because, well, I don't really give a sh!t.  Go, don't go, it won't change my day other than not listening to sports radio because I don't want to hear about it.

However, when it rains it pours because today we received the news that Tim's look-a-like, Drew Carey, now known for creeping people out since he lost a ton of weight and failing in the shadow of Bob Barker, has broken up with his long-time fiance.

I have to say though, if you are engaged for five years and still haven't set a date or stated talking about wedding plans, my guess is that no one is exactly in a rush to tie the knot.  I think Drew should go get some advice from Bob since he was clearly tapping the ass of each and every model on that show during his time as host.  To be honest, he probably still swings by the studio for some good old fashioned plinko with some of the current models, just to show Carey who's boss.

This is how you do it.  Barker - swag for days (also Viagra).

Not like this.  No Price is Right swag at all.

-Big Ran

Thomas Continues to Own Luongo

Hell yeah, Tim Thomas.  A congrats to Luongo was not only classy, but probably pissed Roberto off and caused more riots in Vancouver.  Also, the fact that he is still rocking the 70s stache because his daughter likes it is fantastic.  When you're that good, you can crush a stache and not have to explain it to anybody.

Did everyone know that "Vezina" is German for whale's vagina?  Stay classy, Tim Thomas, stay classy.

-Big Ran

Looking Good Roberto! Feeling good Alain!

I don't remember, in my lifetime of watching sports, someone who talked this much trash and not only didn't back it up, but looked SO bad that he had to get yanked from a game.  I mean, this was unreal!  Three goals on eight shots, with the first two shots being must stops.  I wonder if those would have been easy saves for Thomas?  Just sayin'.  Have their been two more hateable characters than LeBron James and Roberto Luongo so close together and performing so inconsistently on the big stage?

Anyway, now it's a one game playoff for the Stanley Cup.  The Bruins have scored two goals in three games against Luongo in Vancouver, so they have to prove they can take one on the road.  This is going to be the first game seven for the Bruins in the Stanley Cup.  Considering they are an original six team, that's saying something.  I honestly have no idea what to expect, but they need to be aggressive from the drop and man, if they could ever score first, I may have Bruins Perma Wood.



-Big Ran

Crush This Miserable F*ck

On the lone goal in game 5 and the difficulty in making a save on that type of bounce/shot:

"It's not hard if you're playing in the paint," said Luongo. "It's an easy save for me, but if you're wandering out and aggressive like he does, that's going to happen. He might make some saves that I won't, but in a case like that, we want to take advantage of a bounce like that and make sure we're in a good position to bury those."

F*CK YOU, BRO.

Look, I know the quote his been dissected and over-analyzed by everyone at this point, but on what planet is this a smart thing to say about a goalie who has clearly outplayed you in the Stanley Cup Finals?  I mean, I know he probably had one foot out the door on the way to a techno club, but you have got to be kidding me.

Look at that suse's ugly f*cking face.  He said waht he did because he is clearly jealous of the press Thomas is getting for his outstanding play.  Guess what?  Thomas wouldn't be getting praised if he had given up 12 goals in two games.

Then, when asked about his dumb ass comments the next day, he comes up with this gem:

Claude Julien and Tim Thomas have had perfect responses for all of Luongo's insecure whining.  At this point of the Stanley Cup Finals, should a Vezina Trophy Finalist really need this type of massaging?  

Two things are clear to me:

1.  This dude loves to roofie chicks at techno clubs

2.  This guy needs a serious confidence boost, maybe a life coach or something.  I bet he would love to be part of a flash mob.

-Big Ran

In the Words of KC Jones, "YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!"

Bruin Beatdown of the Canucks Makes it a Series

Obviously, everyone was debating activating Shawn Thornton and sitting Tyler Seguin because the thought was the Bs needed more offense.  Well, it turns out, Thornton was just what they needed.  He didn't have a single point, but clearly made the Canucks uncomfortable and seems to have set a tone for the Bs before they even stepped on the ice.  The dirty hit on Horton really opened the floodgates.

Overall, it was an amazing performance by the Bruins and it will be really interesting to see what happens in game 4.  Best hit of the night?  Thomas crushing Henrik Sedin and his fivehead in the third.  Now, Seguin will be activated for Horton and we'll have to see how the disciplinary hearing shakes out for Rome to see if the Canucks will be down a defenseman.

-Big Ran