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| I'm giving you a raise! |
What I really love about these performance reviews is the fact that so much time and effort is wasted on the fact that maybe, just maybe, I max out at like a 1.7% raise this year. So, in other words, not nearly enough to even cover the increase in gas prices for my commute. I am actually getting poorer every singe year I work.
The first part of our process is the self appraisal and this is a TON of fun because we get to grade ourselves in like 15 different areas on a five point scale. Now, our company has told us that a score of 3 is good, that means you are doing a commendable job. If you give yourself a 4 you really have to be able to defend it, and if you give yourself a 5, you better be able to not only walk on water, but be able to juggle at the same time, and have found the cure to the common cold.
So, we go through all that, then submit it to our manager. Our manager reads it, completes their appraisal of you, then goes over everything with the head of our department. At that point we have a one-on-one meeting to go over the good, the bad, and the ugly. Think about the cumulative hours that everyone spends on this B.S. All for a 1.7% raise, at most, that we won't get until September. How about this? We skip this b.s and just give me a couple of extra floating holidays. At least I won't have to spend money on gas if I don't want to.
-Big Ran
Hey Big Ran- how about a couple of times years back when, at the end of my reviews, my supervisors at the time slid a post it note across the table to me like we were haggling over the price of a car. I swear to God it happened. Also, how about when I laughed at the total raise and asked for a just a few more vacation days instead and was told 'no'? I heart work!
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