What's for Dinner (Post Rapture Menu)....

After I head out today, I need to make my final pre-Rapture trip to the grocery store. I think that as long as I have the following items, we'll be all set once the playlists have stopped and everyone except for the people at our Rapture Rage are blown into oblivion:

In addition to the typical canned fruits and vegetables and cases of water, I'm looking to add the following to our "Rapture Arsenal" for good eatin':

-Astronaut Ice Cream: I'll start with dessert first. If it can survive space, it can survive "The Rapture"

-Spam: Do I need to say anything about this? I've never had it and often wondered if people who feed it to their children could be brought up on child abuse charges. However, I'll being singing a different song when I'm hungry after the rapture.


-Tuna Fish: As far as I can tell, it pretty much lasts forever in the tin, so I'll stock up. Big Ran, I know you love "chicken of the sea" too, so I'll make sure I get enough. I'll probably buy the 'pouch' variety too in case our can openers disappear during Rapture festivities.

-Kool-Aid: Some might think about "The Rapture" and say "OH NO!", but I say "OH YEAAAAHHHH!". I'll pick up the powered mix in the large tub. That way, when there's no clean water left, it will at least make the dirty stagnant water taste like Cherry (or Orange, or Grape) flavored dirty water. As long as we're properly stocked and have the right tunes, this is gonna be alright and maybe even fun!

-Soup: Obviously I'll have to get the kind with the flip tab for easy opening due to my concerns about losing can openers during the height of "The Rapture". Good news is that canned soup is so packed with preservatives that even if we don't have a way to heat it up (although, I'm expecting a LOT of fires), we'll be all set.

-Gatorade & Red Bull: As we'll need to keep our energy and hydration levels up immediately post rapture. We're going to need all the help we can get if we hope to not only survive, but thrive in this "Whole New World" (shout out to Aladdin- and this needs to be added to one of the playlists IMMEDIATELY!).

-Slim Jims: And any other smoked, processed, mechanically separated meat product. We're going to need protein to keep our stremf' up post Rapture, especially after all the dancing we'll be doing. I wish I had known about "The Rapture" over the past holiday season. I would have really stocked up on those Hickory Farm unrefrigerated meat and cheese gift sets!!

-Marshmallows: I don't even like them. But with all the fires sure to be raging, we should probably have plenty on hand so we can roast them over the open flames. Plus, toasting marshmallows is synonymous with good times and I definitely want to "Let the Good Times Roll" (again, this needs to be added to one of our playlists STAT!)

-KC Jones