Friday, December 9, 2011

Big Baby Headed to America's Wang


Sorry, wrong one...


Boston Globe Celtics Blog - The Celtics will deal forward Glen Davis to Orlando in a sign-and-trade that will send Magic forward Brandon Bass to Boston, a source tells Marc Spears of Yahoo! Sports. The move would end a four-year run for Davis and the Celtics that started with a with a world championship and ended with questions over Davis' effort and maturity.

Bass' agent told the Orlando Sentinel the deal was close.

The Sentinel also reported the Davis deal would be for four years, and that Davis was on his way to Florida to take a physical.

Davis, a second-round pick by Seattle in 2007, came to the Celtics via a draft-night trade that also brought Ray Allen to Boston. Davis played in 69 games as a rookie and averaged 4.5 points and 3 rebounds. Davis filled in as a starter for Kevin Garnett during the 2009 playoffs and had perhaps his best run in a Celtics uniform, averaging 15.8 points and 5.6 rebounds in 36 minutes per game. During that postseason, however, Davis drew criticism for pushing a young fan in Orlando following a game-winning shot over the Magic. That offseason, Davis broke his hand in a fight with a childhood friend, keeping him out until December.


Davis upped his scoring average to 11.7 points per game last season, but his shot selection was questioned, and he was a virtual no-show in the postseason. Bass, too, has had an up-and-down career, and the Magic are likely moving him for the same reasons the Celtics are moving Davis. A second-round pick out of LSU in 2005, Bass didn't show much in New Orleans before having two productive seasons in Dallas before a disappointing debut in Orlando. Last season, though, his second with the Magic, Bass averaged career highs of 11.2 points and 5.6 rebounds. At 6-feet-8-inches and 250 pounds, he's a more traditional power forward than Davis.

Well, it ain't CP3 or Dwight Howard, but Bass is solid and I would imagine that he will extend Doc Rivers' heart health and sanity a few more years.  Big Baby was, at times, a solid role player for the Celtics, but is clearly insane.  The fact that he let KG make him cry may have been the end of it for me.  Then there was his MMA fighting and the time he broke his finger and missed the start of the season because he was fighting with his friend in his car.  Doc may drop Baby off at the airport.


ANyone think David Stern nixes this deal too just because he is drunk with power?



-Big Ran

KC Jones Comment: I thought Big Baby WAS America's Wang......

Robber Misses Opportunity for Comedy Gold


Pocono Record A Brodheadsville man accused of robbing a local pharmacy of painkillers made the job easier for police by leaving behind his birth certificate.


Stroud Area Regional Police say Keith A. Rebori, 23, robbed the East Stroudsburg CVS of painkillers on Thanksgiving Day.
A man entered the CVS and handed the pharmacist a bag and threatening note demanding all of the Oxycodone, Oxycontin and Xanax, police said. The pharmacist gave him 798 Oxycodone tablets, after which the man left.
Police later searched the area, finding a hooded sweatshirt, a backpack and the note used in the robbery. They also reviewed the surveillance video, which showed a man in the pharmacy earlier that day, wearing the same hooded sweatshirt and carrying the same backpack, police said.
Police said the backpack contained Rebori's birth certificate. He was arrested, placed in Monroe County Correctional Facility in lieu of $25,000 bail and will appear in district court at a future date.
In comedy timing is everything and this dude had none.  If this guy was smart, he would have robbed this pharmacy back when Donald Trump was making a big deal out of whether or not Obama was born in the US and printed out a copy of Obama's birth certificate.  Bing, bang, boom, even if you get caught you'll get to go on The Daily Show to pay for your legal defense.


-Big Ran

You're Welcome



I saw this on Barstool, but it is too good not to talk about.  The first 15 seconds may have scarred me for life, but at the same time I couldn't help but laugh.

If these girl's fathers hadn't let their families a long time ago to cause these daddy issues, they would probably just drink themselves to death.  I will say this though, the girl in the back is pure comedy gold.  She rocks the BJ mime at the one minute mark and then absolutely annihilates the backwards chair dance to show off the tramp stamp at the two minute mark.  She kind of reminds me of a plumber. 

Two of my other favorite parts:

"Your schlong is long and your built like a sturgeon." - I'm not sure how the second part of that is a compliment, but I guess there isn't much that rhymes with virgin.

"Boner, boner, boner, boner, boner, yeah." - No commentary necessary.

-Big Ran

PS:  If you don't think I'm changing all my screen names to "GotaBigPenisGuy," you're nuts.

PPS:  Science has progressed to the point where you can choose the gender of your kids, right?  If it has, there is a zero percent chance I would choose a girl after seeing this video.

Stuck In My Head



I don't know how this happened, and I apologize if you have to sit through a commercial, but this video is totally worth it.

Honestly, if you just sing "Get down on it," you know 87% of the song.  They honestly may have written this in the bathroom before a show.  How am I still living paycheck-to-paycheck when songs like this are played 30 years later?

-Big Ran

What you gonna do? You want to get down?
Tell me
what you gonna do? Do you want to get down?
What you gonna do? You want to get down?
What you gonna do? You want to get down? - Tell me.

Get down on it
get down on it

Get down on it
get down on it
come on and
Get down on it
get down on it

Get down on it
get down on it.

How you gonna do it if you really don't want do dance

By standing on the wall?
Get your back up off the wall
tell me.
How you gonna do it if you really don't want to dance

By standing on the wall. Get your back up off the wall

'Cause I heard all the people sayin':
Get down on it
come on and
Get down on it - if you really want it
Get down on it - you gotta feel it
Get down on it - get down on it
get down on it
Come on and get down on it
baby
baby
Get down on it - get down on it - get down on it.

I say people - what? What you gonna do?
You've gotta get on the groove
If you want your body to move
tell me
baby.

How you gonna do it if you really don't want to dance

By standing on the wall? Get your back up off the wall. - Tell me.
How you gonna do it if you really won't take a chance

By standing on the wall? Get your back up off the wall.
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/kool-&-the-gang-lyrics/get-down-on-it-lyrics.html -]
'Cause I heard all the people sayin':

Get down on it - get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - when we're dancin' - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it

Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - come on and
Get down on it - baby
baby
Get down on it - get down on it - get down on it.

What you gonna do? - Do you want to get down?
What you gonna do? - Get your back up off the wall.
Dance
come on get our back up off the wall.
Dance
come on!

Get down on it - come on and
Get down on it - if you really want it.
Get down on it - you gotta feel it
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - come on and
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - and while you're dancin'
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it
Getdown on it - get down on it
Get down on it - you move me baby
when you move
Get down on it - get down on it

Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get your back up off the wall
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get down on it
Get down on it - get your back up the wall

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Not So Fast My Friends



According to Marc Stein of ESPN, the deal is off!

I hope it stays that way, but I'm not to optimistic. The Lakers can have Heidy Watney, I know KC would drop her off at the airport with a one way ticket, but I would really prefer that Chris Paul and Dwight Howard stay out of LaLa Land.

Update:  NBA Owners Veto Trade

-Big Ran

PS:  ESPN totally ripped off my post title.

Stuck In My Head - Thirsty Thursday Edition



I woke up with this one in my head.  Great jam and as you can tell, I kind of like The Black Keys.  Plus, when you have Todd Bridges in your video saying things like "I'm pretty sure God would consider it a sin not to glorify THAT ASS," you can't lose.  As a side note, the term "that ass" has to be one of the most important in hip hop/rap.  I love fitting "that ass" into as many normal conversations as possible.



This is played at the same exact time every day on my commute and there are so many NBA references, I figured KC would have to love it.



This one came up in a meeting yesterday.  I don't remember what prompted it, but three of us ended up singing it before the meeting started.

-Big Ran

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Irrational Rant...Charity Case...

I'd like to preface this rant by saying that despite the laundry list of flaws I can provide regarding myself and my personality, one of my positive attributes is that I am a fairly generous and charitable person. Regardless, even if I wasn't, I'd still be justified in this rant because 1. it's my rant, 2. it's our blog, and 3. I do what I want!

With the holiday season upon us, non-profits & other charitable organizations are out in full force soliciting donations. I understand this and realize it is necessary for the survival of each group. However, with the poor economy, high unemployment rates, and cost of living increases, I find myself, like MANY others, just getting by and yes, sometimes feel like I'm struggling to make ends meet.

That being said, I would like to mention that I donate to St. Jude's Children Hospital on my own several times a year, I throw a couple of dollars into the Salvation Army boxes whenever I see one, and I make weekly contributions at my church and donate canned goods. Also, my co-workers and I sponsor children each year for back to school and at Christmas time. I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back; I'm saying it because many people are in the same boat as I am and MOST people are doing their part and helping wherever and whenever they can. 



So, when I go out to malls, bookstores, and even places like CVS, and I'm inundated with requests in the checkout line to make donations to every place under the sun, I start to get a little fed up. The organizations include hospitals, food banks, literacy organizations, animal shelters, and homeless shelters, just to name a few--and sometimes things just get out of hand.

Look, it's not that I mind them asking, it's that I mind the way that they are doing it. Advertising with signs at the checkout or prompts on the P.O.S. machines where you run your card should be enough. It's a private decision. You shouldn't have to get in line and then be shamed for saying "No thank you" when solicited.


I kid you not, the other day, I heard a woman at Ann Taylor Loft being told by a loudmouthed employee she should 'be a good doobie' and make a donation to St. Jude's. She was enticed by the promise that she could "Ring the Bell" if she gave. What? Are we first graders? She was clearly guilted into it as she had originally said, "not today". And then, when I got in line, I received an absolutely horrified look when I responded with, "No thank you, I donate on my own". As a matter of fact, I then had RE-SWIPE my debit card because I declined the donation on the screen. The cashier said to me in a very condescending fashion, "Well, that's fine, but now you have to re-process your card since you said no". Are you serious lady? Add to this the fact that when I was in there a week ago buying a gift, I was asked to donate, and when I responded with, "No thanks,I contribute on my own", I got, "Well, would you at least like to round up to the nearest dollar? It's only forty cents!" And sadly, I must admit that I was guilted into it that time. Forty cents, whatever. It's the principal, coupled with the fact that ALL of these donations add up.



And, how about when you go into the same store multiple times in a short period of time? The grocery store for example. After donating a few dollars each time I went in for the local food bank, I started to think, "This is getting a little out of hand". And it was. So, I began to decline when asked. And the way some of these people look at you makes you feel like trash.You wonder if when you leave, they are saying "Oh, she must be able to sleep at night knowing others go to bed hungry".

Last year, I was asked to purchase a book for a literacy organization while in line at Barnes and Noble. Um, newsflash; on my list of charities, literacy organizations rank VERY low (maybe dead last). Obviously it must be because I'm ignorant and want people to not learn how to read. Oh wait, actually, it's because I THINK libraries (or, as I like to pronounce it, LIE-BARIES) were established for that purpose. Anyway, when I said no, I was then asked "are you sure?" And then, when I indicated that it was, in fact, my final answer, Chatty Cathy the Cashier moved on to ask if I wanted to sign up for the Barnes and Noble rewards card for $25 a year....guess what my answer was? Had it only been a donation to "The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good", I would have happily given all that I could.



A month ago, in Petco, I was asked to make a donation to 'feed a hungry pet'. Oh my God, this is really brutal. I have a super soft spot for animals (as they are typically much, much better than people) and I caved and gave five dollars. However, 3 weeks later when asked the same question, I had to say no. I'm willing to bet the MSPCA was called on me shortly after I left the store. Obviously I must be in cahoots with Michael Vick.

I have to say, I am sure to be very pleasant when I am in line in these stores, even when I don't want to be. I'm not coming at them with an attitude and getting it back. I understand what it's like working in retail, I did it for years and some people just suck. My attitude comes out when I'm being, in essence, "bullied" to sacrifice even more of my hard earned money at the register. I'm already overpaying for your crappy merchandise that's made in Burma or Malaysia and will fall apart after one laundry cycle, so looky here; why doesn't your greedy company start producing at least some American made products, and, by pumping money into OUR economy and creating jobs, we, as a nation, can help these non-profits and charitable organizations. Just a thought.

The bottom line is this; enough of our hard earned money is stripped from us by the government and much of it is misappropriated. I wonder, as I cruise the streets of my county, how the roads can be in such horrific condition when so much of my paycheck is going back to the government.  We can, and should, as socially responsible and compassionate human beings, all donate to the causes that are near and dear to us. We should NOT, however, be browbeaten and essentially forced into it. I've made a decision; the next time I decline the opportunity to make a charitable contribution and am asked more than once, I am going to ask the cashier if he or she would like to make a donation to my charity---the "Keep Me Warm, Fed and Out of Foreclosure Fund"...I'll let you know what they say.

That being said, to all of our readers, let's try to think of a cause that's important to each of us and make a donation (via free will!)---after all, that IS what Christmas is really all about. Every little bit helps, and when it's done with sincerity it means that much more.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Stuck In My Head....



That's right! On this lazy Monday morning, I have been battling with Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance" since my alarm went off. I don't know why, because my alarm just buzzes--but for some reason, the minute I hit the shower I was rapping to myself. This song was a highly anticipated jam at all middle school dances, and I still bump it from time to time.

This video is a complete shit show and the lyrics are phenomenal. Never have I been able to understand why Shock G is wearing those glasses with the fake nose. Who came up with that idea? Terrible. Also, the Oakland Athletics called, they want their T-Shirts back.

Although Digital Underground is completely ridiculous, they were very influential in their time, and we all owe them an immeasurable amount of gratitude for helping launch the rap career of the legendary Tupac.
Check this link out, Tupac was a backup dancer/rapper for D.U. and here he in, dressed in red, performing with them on the Arsenio Hall Show (thank God THAT'S over!). And, of course, remember Shock G's rap on Pac's "I Get Around":

The Secret to His Success

Honestly, I don't follow football that much, but I keep hearing all of this great stuff about Patriots' tight end Rob Gronkowski. All I have to say is that his off field behavior must be the reason for his success. I mean, I think most young guys would be "performing" well out on the field knowing it would get them attention from porn, oops, I mean "adult film" stars. But, it's not all about Gronk; he's proving himself to be a very generous man. I mean, read the article you'll be taken to by the above link and it reports, "as a result of Gronkowski's success on the field—he had two touchdown catches and 96 yards—she gave the world a view of her moneymakers". Clearly, he's sharing the wealth with the general public as his success results in her tweeting topless pics of herself.

This was on the news once a while back and then pushed aside and forgotten. I tend to think it would be different if the Pats (and RG himself) weren't doing so well as we all know how ruthless Boston fans can be when the going gets tough....From the female perspective, I'd just like to say that I'd take this dude over Tommy Boy ANY DAY.....

If you've got it, flaunt it...
That's what she said!  
-KC Jones

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Hoyas for Hova!

Michael Eric Dyson parses Jay-Z's lyrics as if analyzing fine literature. The rapper's riffs on luxury cars and tailored clothes and boasts of being the "Mike Jordan of recording" may make for catchy rhymes, but to Dyson, they also reflect incisive social commentary.

Dyson, a professor, author, radio host and television personality, has offered at Georgetown University this semester a popular -- if unusual -- class dedicated to Jay-Z and his career. The course, "Sociology of Hip Hop: Jay-Z," may seem an unlikely offering at a Jesuit, majority-white school that counts former President Bill Clinton among its alumni. But Dyson insists that his class confronts topics present in any sociology course: racial and gender identity, sexuality, capitalism and economic inequality.

"It just happens to have an interesting object of engagement in Jay-Z -- and what better way to meet people where they are?" Dyson said. "It's like Jesus talking to the woman at the well. You ask for a drink of water, then you get into some theological discussions."

Classes centered on pop culture superstars like Bruce Springsteen have sprouted on college campuses in recent years; Dyson himself says he's previously taught classes on Tupac Shakur and Marvin Gaye at the University of Pennsylvania. He says Jay-Z, whose real name is Shawn Carter, is a worthy subject because of his diversity of business interests -- a clothing entrepreneur, he's also a part owner of the NBA's New Jersey Nets (soon to move to his native New York borough of Brooklyn) -- as well as his immense cross-cultural appeal and "lyrical prowess" in articulating contemporary black culture and his place in it.

"I think he's an icon of American excellence," Dyson said.

Though hardly as rigorous as organic chemistry, the course does have midterm and final examinations and required readings, including from Jay-Z's book, "Decoded." The 75-minute classes -- the final one is Wednesday -- focus more on African-American culture and business than on the particulars of the rapper's biography, which include millions in record sales, Grammy Awards, a marriage to Beyonce with a baby on the way and tours with Kanye West and Eminem.

One recent lecture centered on how popular black artists reflect their culture and race to the public at large, with Dyson name-dropping LL Cool J, Diahann Carroll and Bill Cosby. The professor and one student went back and forth on whether the rapper's lyrical depictions of his extravagant lifestyle -- "Used to rock a throwback, balling on the corner/Now I rock a Teller suit, looking like an owner" is one of many examples -- amounted to bragging and rubbing his taste for fine living in the faces of his listeners.

The student took the position that Jay-Z appears overly boastful, but Dyson countered that the rapper, who grew up in a Brooklyn housing project but has since become a multimillionaire, has never lost his ability to relate to the struggles of everyday people and has continued giving voice to their concerns. Though Jay-Z raps about Saint-Tropez and expensive cigars, he also talks about being nurtured by Brooklyn. And in one song, "99 Problems," he attacks racial profiling with a stark depiction of a racially motivated traffic stop: "Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?" the officer asks. Jay-Z replies: "`Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low."
The chairman of Georgetown's sociology department, Timothy Wickham-Crowley, says he supports Dyson's course for trying to show how Jay-Z's music fits into American society, and Steve Stoute, an author and marketing executive who has done business with Jay-Z and has spoken to the class, said the course has practical value for students interested in business.

But others have concerns.

Kevin Powell, who writes about hip-hop and has run unsuccessfully for Congress in Brooklyn, said any discussion of Jay-Z should account for what Powell says are the rapper's derogatory lyrics toward women and his expressions of excessive materialism. Kris Marsh, an assistant sociology professor at the University of Maryland who specializes in the black middle class, said that while she appreciated Jay-Z's cultural significance, she was wary of structuring an entire course around him and using his narrative alone to reflect black America. Though hip-hop artists can focus a lens on urban life, she said, "sometimes these artists use poetic license" and blend fact and fiction to an audience that is often suburban and white.

"We're not sure if it's fiction or real life. It can be almost indistinguishable sometimes in hip-hop," she said.
In an opinion piece published in the student newspaper, The Hoya, junior Stephen Wu dismissed as "poppycock" Dyson's belief that Jay-Z could be compared to Homer or Shakespeare.

"It speaks volumes that we engage in the beat of Carter's pseudo-music while we scrounge to find serious academic offerings on Beethoven and Liszt. We dissect the lyrics of "Big Pimpin'," but we don't read Spenser or Sophocles closely," Wu wrote.

Danielle Bailey, a senior international business and marketing major who is taking the class, said she was a Jay-Z fan before enrolling but now has greater appreciation for his business acumen.

"I know a lot of people are upset, but I think the point of college is to think outside the box. I rarely have classes that allow me to look at things differently," she said, adding, "It's not always about Mozart and Homer."
Dyson makes no apologies, saying the course is a conduit for studying the "major themes of American life" and that hip-hop artists at their best deserve to be classified alongside literary luminaries.

Jay-Z was on tour and not available for an interview, his representative said. But Dyson, who considers himself a friend of the rapper, says Jay-Z has told him he appreciates the course. And Bailey said she heard Jay-Z give a "shout-out" to the class at a recent concert of his she attended.
"You're doing the class there," Dyson says Jay-Z told him. "I'm doing kind of the master class while I'm in concert."

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/12/03/georgetown-university-offers-college-course-on-jay-z/#ixzz1fcwUSXmn

-KC Jones