Rapture Take Three...

Ok, so it's Monday, May 23rd and "The Rapture" was scheduled for Saturday, May 21st. We're all still here, so I guess there were some miscalculations. Hey, it happens, right? Sometimes predicting the end of the world is more difficult than it seems.  Personally, I'm just bummed that our playlists are null and void now. But I'm thinking of Harold (can I call him Hal?) Camping and how embarrassing this must be. Actually, for him, I'm sure it's not embarrassing at all because he's clearly a headcase. So, in his honor, I'd like to toss out another playlist of the songs he might be listening to right now as he reflects on his mistake and gears up for his next attempt:

"Harold Camping's Recalculating The Rapture Mix"

1. "Oops I Did It Again"-Britney Spears: Yup, Hal 'did it again', 'it' being incorrectly predicting the end of the world.

2. "I Missed Again"-Phil Collins: Like the great former Genesis front man sings, "I'm waiting in line, but it seems like I wasted my time...cause I missed again!"

3. "You're Only Human (Second Wind)"-Billy Joel: Hal, don't be so hard on yourself, like Mr. Joel says, "you're only human, you're SUPPOSE to make mistakes!"

4. "Still Standing"-Elton John: Pretty self-explanatory

5. "Stayin' Alive"- Bee Gees: Because it looks like, "whether (we're) a a brother or whether (we're a mother), we'll be stayin' alive"

6. "Try Again"-Aaliyah: He needs to remember that 'if first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again' (and again, and maybe even again after that!)

7. "Made You Look"-Nas: Maybe this was all just a publicity stunt and he achieved the end goal of making all of us look in one way or another.

8. "It Wasn't Me"-Shaggy: At this point, being wrong twice publicly might be a little embarrassing, so I can understand if he tries to deny, deny, deny....

9. "Blame It"-T-Pain: Once he finds out that he can't say it wasn't him (track 9)-I'm sure he's going to blame it on the alcohol)

10. "My Favorite Mistake"-Sheryl Crow

11. "Just My Imagination"-The Temptations: And, in conclusion, that's really all it was, his imagination, running away with him!


I can see it now. Harold at his desk with calendars, a bible (notice, not THE BIBLE because he's CLEARLY not following that) telescopes, sundials, and maps, recalculating. I'm keeping all my playlists and my non-perishables in anticipation of the Real Rapture.

-KC Jones

*Big Ran Addition: