Time to Make the Donuts....

So, I was watching the Red Sox/Yankee series this weekend & I was reminded of a topic I've been wanting to touch on: Professional Athletes who are in horrific shape! The irony here is incredible. These men get paid millions upon millions of dollars to BE IN GOOD SHAPE AND WIN! Unfortunately, some of them have missed the memo and have let themselves go. Sometimes, these athletes excel in spite of their tank asses and beer guts, but more often than not, when they let themselves go, they fail to reach their full potential. So, I'd like to provide a quick list of professional athletes who you'd expect to find in McDonald's rather than on the field/court/etc....here are my top picks....

1. C.C. Sabathia: New York Yankees: He is my one of my favorite examples. This dude has moobs, a beer belly, and his uniform could be cut up and made into uniforms for the entire team. Out of shape appears to be an understatement in this case. Look at this picture, can you see the sweat? Yes, athletes sweat, but this pic was probably taken while he was throwing out the first pitch of the game. I get winded just watching him. From what I've seen and heard, he's successful despite his weight (although he does seem to struggle against the Red Sox). Obviously seeing him this weekend reminded me that I wanted to blog about this topic.

2. Robert "Tractor" Traylor: NBA Player: Sadly, he recently passed away from a heart attack at the young age of 34.No longer playing in the NBA, he had 'taken his talents' (shout out to Le'Douche James) to Puerto Rico. This guy had big talent during his time at Michigan, was heavily scouted and left college to be picked #6 in the 1998 draft, but his full potential wasn't even CLOSE to being recognized as a professional. This is my favorite picture of him because first of all the uniform is just ridiculous--seriously, the Toronto Raptors have NEVER been taken seriously and this jersey proves why! And secondly, I think he MIGHT have been given a size "Small" when he needed an "XL". RIP Tractor.



3. John Daly: Professional Golfer: Let me preface this by saying that I do not view golf as a sport. It is a hobby, a past time, and surely it does require skill, but so doesn't knitting, cooking, and painting, and none of those activities are considered sports. However, since many people DO consider it a sport, I have to include the biggest (literally) disaster of all time in this list. The man smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, and probably eats a full meal at least once an hour, so I can't believe he's even alive, let alone able to walk the golf course. I guess that's why they have carts----wanna bet his cart (and bag) are full of scooby snacks for the long walks between holes?

He looks good for a pregnant man!

4. Vince Wilfork: New England Patriots: No doubt about it, this guy is a beast! He's lived up to his full potential and then some and has the championships to prove it. I'm sure his sport of choice is a huge reason for this, because if he were a baseball, basketball, or hockey player things wouldn't be so rosy for him. There is almost no difference in the width of his head and neck, and his jersey looks like spandex on him! I love this guy----fun to watch play, fun to listen to, and someone any team would be proud to have!

5. Glen "Big Baby" Davis: Boston Celtics: Even at his best, this guy is doughy and lacking in the muscle definition department. Baby has his great spurts but there are always disastrous spurts intermingled. Granted, he's in much better shape now than he was at LSU, but I guess that's not really saying much. I'm sure all Celtics fans were as proud as I was to see him topless on the parade route during 2008, proving that you don't have to be ripped like Ray Allen to be a champion.

6. Antoine Walker: former NBA Player, various teams: 'Toine's talents were sadly overshadowed by his tremendous lack of discipline off the court. This guy had so much potential, but a series of poor decisions both professionally and personally have left him bankrupt and playing for the Idaho Stampede--one of the D-League teams. It should also be noted that this member of the 2006 Miami Heat Championship team was also sent home from the team at one point because he was so out of shape and gaining weight. Seriously?! How awesome is that? That's something you don't hear about every day!! The Walker Wiggle was no joke!

And the list goes on....but again, these are my favorites....

Happy Monday!


-KC Jones

*Big Ran Addition:

David Wells - This dude was sloppy fat and was somehow a decent pitcher.  He also pitched a perfect game drunk from the night before.

Dante Bichette - This was the type of guy the old regime for the Sox would always sign or aquire.  The over-th-hill, slow, fat veteran, who maybe had some talent 10 years earlier.  God, I hated this guy.