Bruins Fan Songs

A few fan-created Bruins tunes to get you fired up.  Some are better than others, but we'll try to get a slow burn going today.















-Big Ran

Public Service Announcement - GET TO THE BARS EARLY!

Apparently, the city of Boston is not only putting the kibosh on a Bruins viewing party at The Garden tonight, but also putting in some last minute rules for the bars tonight.  Bars have to black out their windows so no one watches from the streets and they can't let anyone into the bar after the second period.  

So, go out early, drink often, don't riot, and get the MOJO GOING!

-Big Ran  

Humpday Holla-back

The other day at work we were talking about the NKOTBSB concert at Fenway over the weekend and how a ton of people went to it.  Then we transitioned to the Donnie Wahlberg, then Mark Wahlberg, then obviously to his career in music as Marky Mark.  It took us a few minutes to remember the title of his jam, "Good Vibrations," so we obviously had to watch the video.  Wow.  Damn, they knew how to make a video in 1991.

As you can see, its about four and a half minutes of choreographed dance, and a shirtless Marky Mark alternating between working out and banging chicks.  So, this video was probably a pretty accurate portrayal of his life in the early 90s.  Plus, its good to have a little local talent on a day our home town Bruins play game seven for the cup.

-Big Ran

Tuesday Trivia...

I don't have a specific question today, such as KC's last week (What the f*ck is a canuck?), but a more general one:  Where do superstitions come from?  Like knocking on wood, keeping your fingers crossed, etc.  I ran across a great slideshow on life.com (has that sentence ever been uttered before?) that goes through some of the most common ones.

Here's a few of the more everyday superstitions (all from life.com):

Hanging a Horseshoe for good luck:

Horseshoes have been around for centuries as a method of protecting horse's feet, but the tradition of hanging a horseshoe for good luck (usually with the open side up, to "hold in" good fortune) started with the legend of the popular 10th-century English St. Dunstan, at least according to one account. St. Dunstan tricked the Devil into letting him nail a horseshoe onto the Infernal One's goat-like hoof, and only removed the painfully offending shoe if the Devil swore to never enter a place that had a horseshoe over it.

Crossing your fingers:

Though some believe that crossing your fingers originated as a sign early Christians used to identify each other, it really started much earlier. Before Christ, the cross was a sign of unity in Europe, and it was traditional for two people to make a wish by forming a cross with their index fingers -- one person made the wish, and the other added his mojo. The ritual eventually evolved into a do-it-yourself motion. 

Friday the 13th:

There are several explanations for why the number 13 -- and Friday the 13th in particular -- are considered unlucky in the West. One says that there were 13 who sat down to the Last Supper, the final guest being Jesus, who was betrayed. (A variation of the unlucky-13 superstition is that if 13 people sit down to a meal, one of them will die within the year.) Another is that King Philip IV of France ordered the Knights Templar imprisoned on a Friday the 13th. Yet another is that the lunar calendar has 12 full months and a runt 13th month that gave early scholars and timekeepers no end of headaches. Regardless, it's worth noting that in Spanish-speaking countries, it's Tuesday the 13th that's unlucky, and that the number 13 is a lucky number in Sikh culture. And in 2002, a Dutch study found that there were actually fewer traffic accidents, fire accidents, and thefts on Friday the 13ths than on other Fridays.

Broken mirrors:

With mirrors' uncanny ability to create another you, it's not surprising that breaking something that creates a perfect, if two-dimensional, simulacrum would be considered bad luck. The seven years part come from an ancient belief that that's how long it takes for the body and soul to fully regenerate in humans. Here: Actress Carole Lombard risks bad luck with cracked mirrors in 1935. She died in a Nevada plane crash at age 33 in 1942 -- seven years after this photo was taken.

Knocking on wood:

Knocking on wood (or touching wood) is a superstition in which one performs the act in order to forestall bad luck. It traces its roots to paganism, when it was believed that spirits dwelt in trees, and that knocking on a tree trunk was way to invoke their benevolent powers.

Opening an umbrella inside:

The warning against opening umbrellas indoors may hearken back to ancient Egypt when they were used not to protect against the rain but against the sun. Using them indoors, where there was already shade, could be interpreted as an insult against the sun god.

This was the one that really blew me away about the superstition surrounding stepping on a gypsy's secret talis:

-Big Ran

Bonus Superstition video:

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

I couldn't think of anyone who looked like Bron Bron, so I will go with our current favorite whipping boy, Roberto "The Roofie" Luongo.  Not only does hew look like Sacha Baron Cohen, but I imagine him to be a really smarmy Frenchman, like Cohen's character in "Talladega Nights," Jean Girard.

vs.

vs.

vs.




Uncanny, right?  I actually saw this after I wrote most of this post:

I think the big difference is that Cohen is funny while Luongo is pitiful. Cohen is wildly successful and Luongo roofies chicks at techno clubs.  One game for the Stanley Cup.  PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASE let Luongo lose his sh!t like last night.

-Big Ran

Looking Good Roberto! Feeling good Alain!

I don't remember, in my lifetime of watching sports, someone who talked this much trash and not only didn't back it up, but looked SO bad that he had to get yanked from a game.  I mean, this was unreal!  Three goals on eight shots, with the first two shots being must stops.  I wonder if those would have been easy saves for Thomas?  Just sayin'.  Have their been two more hateable characters than LeBron James and Roberto Luongo so close together and performing so inconsistently on the big stage?

Anyway, now it's a one game playoff for the Stanley Cup.  The Bruins have scored two goals in three games against Luongo in Vancouver, so they have to prove they can take one on the road.  This is going to be the first game seven for the Bruins in the Stanley Cup.  Considering they are an original six team, that's saying something.  I honestly have no idea what to expect, but they need to be aggressive from the drop and man, if they could ever score first, I may have Bruins Perma Wood.



-Big Ran

Crush This Miserable F*ck

On the lone goal in game 5 and the difficulty in making a save on that type of bounce/shot:

"It's not hard if you're playing in the paint," said Luongo. "It's an easy save for me, but if you're wandering out and aggressive like he does, that's going to happen. He might make some saves that I won't, but in a case like that, we want to take advantage of a bounce like that and make sure we're in a good position to bury those."

F*CK YOU, BRO.

Look, I know the quote his been dissected and over-analyzed by everyone at this point, but on what planet is this a smart thing to say about a goalie who has clearly outplayed you in the Stanley Cup Finals?  I mean, I know he probably had one foot out the door on the way to a techno club, but you have got to be kidding me.

Look at that suse's ugly f*cking face.  He said waht he did because he is clearly jealous of the press Thomas is getting for his outstanding play.  Guess what?  Thomas wouldn't be getting praised if he had given up 12 goals in two games.

Then, when asked about his dumb ass comments the next day, he comes up with this gem:

Claude Julien and Tim Thomas have had perfect responses for all of Luongo's insecure whining.  At this point of the Stanley Cup Finals, should a Vezina Trophy Finalist really need this type of massaging?  

Two things are clear to me:

1.  This dude loves to roofie chicks at techno clubs

2.  This guy needs a serious confidence boost, maybe a life coach or something.  I bet he would love to be part of a flash mob.

-Big Ran

Miami Herald Chokes LeBron Style

Atlanta Journal Constitution - And now, from the, “Dewey Defeats Truman” file, we give you: “Congratulations Miami!”

That’s how a near-full page newspaper ad read in Monday morning’s Miami Herald. In the mother of all mistakes — or should that be the “King James” of all mistakes? — somebody in the Herald’s composing department inadvertently slapped the wrong Macy’s advertisement in the newspaper, promoting Miami Heat “championship” T-shirts and hats being for sale at the department store.

It’s common for print publications to have two display ads ready to go in championship events. T-shirt manufacturers do the same thing. But what makes this mistake unusual is the Heat trailed the NBA finals three games to two going into Sunday night’s game and were

The shirts picture the Heat logo with the championship trophy and words like “Champions” and “Raise Another Banner.”not yet in a position to win the best-of-seven series. Only Dallas could clinch the title Sunday night — and did.

Then again, it’s not like most folks in South Florida haven’t been presumptuous about the Heat’s championship aspirations since LeBron James and Chris Boshsigned in free agency and joined Dwyane Wade. Their signings were celebrated at a news conference, complete with pyrotechnics. James, the guy with the, “Chosen 1″ tattoo across his back, himself promised eight championships.

Still waiting for the first.

Maybe everybody can have a collector’s T-shirt as a consolation prize.

UPDATE: The website Poynter.org has picked up on the story and reports: “A.J. Protash of the Herald’s ad department tells me there’s an investigation into how the ad ended up in the paper.”

Bandwagon fans, bandwagon players, and bandwagon city.  What do you expect?  I guess they figured that since LeBron won two more games than he won during his first trip to the Finals, it was basically the same as winning the whole thing (2:25 mark).  A little bit like Little League, they want to make sure Lil' Bron Bron gets a trophy, just like everyone else.

-Big Ran

Irrational Rant...Flash Mobs

F*cking flash mobs.  Honestly, whoever started this idea should be convicted of crimes against humanity.  This could be a quick list of the worst people ever:

7.  LeBron James
6.  Creator of Flash Mobs
5.  Nicolae Ceausescu
4.  Idi Amin Dad
3.  Josef Stalin
2.  Pol Pot
1.  Hitler

Just take a quick look at that video if you can stand it.  Look at these smug jerks dancing around ruining a nice day at the park for all those innocent bystanders.  Flash Mobbers like to think that they are entertaining people, but they are kidding themselves because they are doing it for their own selfish enjoyment.  "Look at me, I'm singing and dancing with a group of people in a surprise location.  Everyone loves me."

These people clearly did not receive enough attention from their parents.  Maybe they were all neglected middle children, or they all had really high achieving older siblings.  Either way, they are now horrible, horrible people who feel they have improved the lives of people around them, when, in fact, they have ruined days and perhaps lives by their terrible singing and choreographed dances.  These slobs just want attention, pure and simple.  I wish people would just ignore them or treat them like security treats fans who run on baseball fields during games; just absolutely flatten them.



I would love to slap one across the face and try to talk sense into them with somthing to the effect of this:



I think one of the local news broadcasts was teasing a flash mob story yesterday and my wife asked "Why do people even have flash mobs, its so stupid?"  I responded with, "They just want attention for themselves and I hate all of those people.  They make me want to pee on them."  That is from the bottom of my heart.

-Big Ran

WAH WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

-Big Ran