I've always though these two look like twins separated at birth, so I'm surprised it's taken me THIS long to blog about them in "Lunchtime Look-a-Likes".
Isla Fisher (left) & Amy Adams
For the longest time, I thought that Amy Adams was in "Wedding Crashers", but it was really Isla Fisher. I have no idea how two people can look this much alike and NOT be related.
Side by side, you can see some subtle differences, but for the most part, they are spitting images of each other. And, when they're not side by side, you can very easily confuse one for the other. I think the biggest difference between them is that Isla Fisher is married to Borat. Weird, huh?
Here's a little quiz: identify which of the two is in each of the following movies. We'll start with a freebie. See how many you get right:
1. Wedding Crashers
2. Confessions of a Shopaholic
3. The Fighter
4. Julie & Julia
5. Definitely, Maybe
6. Enchanted
7. Talladega Nights
8. I Heart Huckabees
9. Drop Dead Gorgeous
10. Sunshine Cleaning
Answers:
#'s 1,2,5,& 8 featured Isla Fisher while #'s 3,4,6,7,9, & 10 featured Amy Adams.
How'd you do?
-KC Jones
Big Ran Note: Love both of these broads. I never thought of the similarities, good call KC. You know what I'd do if I had a million dollars? Two chicks at the same time. I figure only chicks that are into money would double up on a dude like me.
On this beautiful summer day, I'd like to provide a "Humpday Holla-back" playlist inspired by the weather. Yup, that's right, not just one song, but an entire list! I, for one, will be enjoying this day from the comfort of my gray cube. I wonder if there's any chance I could get a tan from the fluorescent lights shining on me from above....
I would just like to preface this list by saying that Jimmy Buffet will NOT be included as he makes Big Ran want to kick puppies & punch babies.
1. Summertime: Will Smith. This is the #1 summer anthem for our generation. The outfits are pretty awesome, the haircuts are remarkable, what's not to like? I'd love to see a "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" reunion one of these days.
2. Hot In Here: Nelly. How fun is this song? Also, anytime you can work in the lyrics, "I'm just kiddin' like Jason", you've got a hit on your hands! GO MAVS!
3. The Heat is on: Glenn Frey. The title says it all, PLUS we've got Eddie Murphy involved yet again, which is instant comedy.
4. Heat Wave: Martha & The Vandellas. A real oldie but goody and it fits into this themed playlist perfectly. Pretty sure this was made before the time of videos, so I'll just post a link to the song....
5. Surfin' USA: The Beach Boys. I must note that I absolutely DETEST the Beach Boys, but, given the title and the group name, I'd be irresponsible to NOT include one of their songs on this list. However, I am not giving them a shoutout via YouTube link.
6. California Love: Tupac & Dr. Dre. A classic from the 90's, one of Pac's best and a crazy video that makes you want to party. Chris Tucker=Instant Party Yup, I think I'd rather be on the set of that video than in my cube today.
7. Burnin' Up: Faith Evans: Because, in 90 degree plus temps, we certainly are.
8. Water: Brad Paisley: Sorry Big Ran, I know you hate country, and you know I'm not a huge fan either, but this song is perfect for this playlist AND Brad Paisley is actually pretty good! PLUS---remember, I didn't include ANY Jimmy Buffet on this list, just for you, so I'm sure you'll let this slide!
9. All Summer Long: Kid Rock. #1 Detroit Sports Fan & he makes being White Trash fashionable and awesome.
10. Schools Out: Alice Cooper. I always think of Alice Cooper after I've taken a swim with my eyemakeup on....because I end up looking JUST like him! On a side note, when I was in elementary school, there was this kid who acted like he knew EVERYTHING, when in reality, he didn't know that much. SO, one day, one of our friends said to him, "Hey Danny, what do you think about Alice Cooper?" and Danny said, "Oh, I like HER, SHE's hot!".....I'll always remember that....but I digress...
*And, as usual, I have to include "Party All The Time" because, regardless of the playlist's theme, this song is ALWAYS appropriate, especially in light of Big Ran's original commentary.
So, I noticed something about a month ago that REALLY struck me as odd and then began to aggravate me, so it's time for me to share with all of you. I walked into Rite Aid to pick up a refill, and as i was walking down the baby care aisle I noticed the product pictured below:
That's right! Diapers that will create the illusion that a baby is wearing jeans! This MIGHT be one of the stupidest ideas since flip flops with bottle openers in the sole (sorry to two of my friends who are the proud owners of this type of shoe!). Why is this necessary? I doubt that any parent has ever been changing their baby, thinking, "These white diapers are so boring, if only my kid could wear faux denim". I've seen one out of the package (ok, I may or may not have poked a hole in the package in order to gauge how realistic these "jean diapers" were), and guess what? They look like a blue diaper, just as I suspected. I mean, if they made the pockets functional, so the baby could keep some crackers or a rattle back there, or if they made them button fly diapers that would be one thing, but sadly, that's not the case.
Seriously?
I have some rhetorical questions for our readers:
First, are the parents who are purchasing these thinking they are an adequate substitute for clothing? If so, someone should probably call DSS. Second, do that many parents have their children crawling around or lying around in just a diaper for extended periods of time (in places other than Wal-Mart)? When it's warm, that's one thing, but otherwise, most little ones I've seen have the diapers underneath their clothing. They have never been meant to make a fashion statement or else Gymboree would have introduced a best selling line years ago! Third, does everyone realize that people typically wear denim from the waist down in the form of jeans, skirts, or shorts? I've never heard of anyone wearing denim underwear. That's basically what these are. Absorbent jean underroos! And finally, are the people who purchase these unaware of what a diaper's sole purpose is? That's right, containing baby waste. It doesn't matter what it looks like, because within a couple of hours it's going in the trash full stuff that nobody wants to see or smell.
There are so many adorable outfits for children out there, so I'm not sure who (if anyone) would be seeking these designer diapers out. I can certainly understand a child wanting diapers that have cartoon characters on them once they are old enough to voice their opinions, but this?? Come on! I guess that's why this style was the only one on sale that day at Rite Aid.
Questions? Comments? Holla at me.
-KC Jones
*Big Ran Note: there are some great possibilities here. I would find a tiny baby beater and put one on the kid while wearing these diapers and have them hold a Busch Light can. That's a Christmas card waiting to happen. Or, you could have the kid run around shirtless with these on and film "Baby Cops." I am father of the year material.
Word is that the players and owners are not even remotely in the same ballpark on this one. Right now the players' salaries absorb 57% of the league's revenue and yesterday they offered to drop that to 54.3%. Apparently, David Stern laughed that off, thus the probability of a long-protracted lockout, as the owners offered the players 40%. Derek Fisher, one of the top player reps probably flopped out of his chair trying to draw a foul.
This puts the Celtics in a strange position because in terms of winning a championship with the Big 3 / Big 4, next season is it. They have that one last run. On paper, losing part of the season could be good for teams like the C's and the Spurs (warning: KC Jones Sports Bigamy Alert) because there would be less wear and tear on their old legs. However, when you look at the last strike/lockout shortened year, there were about 50 games, but there were tons of back-to-backs, and three consecutive nights with games. Not good for the C's. However, if the entire season is lost, the C's will have a ton of contracts coming off the books and will probably be in pretty good shape to sign a big time free agent (if one wanted to come to Boston; it hasn't happened yet, all due respect to Xavier McDaniel).
The strange thing is, that Wyc Grousbeck, the Celtics owner, is believed to be one of the owners really pushing to skip the season and install a hard cap. That should make him not only amazingly popular in Boston, but in their locker room.
On the positive side, we will have many crazy-ass stories about Ron Artest canging his name to Metta World Peace and wanting to play in Finland, or, my favorite, when the NBA players run out of money, like Latrell Spreewell, Kenny Anderson, or Toine, now exiled to Idaho.
-Big Ran
PS: Scotty Pippen is broke. Who knew? Dude bought a Gulf Stream Jet and made some terrible "investments" after making $120 million in his career. He ended up playing like four games in Finland and Sweden a few years back for $66,000.
I can't believe I didn't post this in a past Tuesday Trivia, but I just want everyone to see what I just bought on Amazon and am having shipped overnight, so I can wear it on the 4th of July. What says freedom more than wolves and an American flag? Would anyone have any doubt that this shirt has magical powers and can do things like jump start pick up trucks and grant you bottomless cans of Bud Heavy?
So, if you are celebrating Freedom this weekend, and you see a dude rocking this shirt, pay him the respect he deserves.
Body found in public pool 2 days after victim drowned
FALL RIVER (FOX25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - The body of a Fall River woman was discovered floating in a state run pool late Tuesday night, two days after she apparently drowned in that same pool.
Police say lifeguards were on duty and people were swimming in the Veterans Memorial pool at Lafayette Park Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and it appears no one noticed the dead body.
Investigators identified the body as 36-year-old Marie Joseph. Police say Joseph was watching her 9-year-old neighbor at the pool on Sunday when she apparently had an accident sliding down a waterside.
Family friends tell FOX25 the little boy told lifeguards that she did not come up from above water but no action was taken.
The Bristol County DA would not confirm if the woman’s body was in the water for two days, but did call the set of circumstances "unbelievable" and said the death is still under investigation.
Fall River Mayor William Flanagan says health inspectors visited the pool on Monday and Tuesday and inspected the facilities and apparently did not see a body either. Those inspectors have been placed on administrative leave pending the outcome of an investigation.
The Department of Conservation and Recreation (DCR), who runs the pool, has since closed over 20 of their deepwater pools until further notice.
DCR has also placed the entire staff of the pool on administrative leave.
According to friends, Marie Joseph has left behind five children and lived in an apartment a mile from the pool.
Okay, really? How could this be? The pool was open and heavily used for days after this and no one noticed the body? This didn't happen in the ocean where finding a body can be nearly impossible due to the size of the area and the murkiness of the water. This was a pool with crystal clear water! No one saw anything? And, why are 20 other pools closed now in retaliation? The chances of this happening (meaning, someone drowning in a pool & then going unnoticed for days, during the summer, in the nice weather when its being used by hundreds of people a day) are slim to NONE, so I'm pretty sure all the other pools shouldn't have to suffer. It's hot! Come on! I'm wondering if she was killed and then the body was dumped in the pool a couple of days later. Any ideas? Bottom line: This is why we can't have anything nice.
BOSTON (CBS) – Lionel Richie will not be performing at the Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular on the 4thofJuly Monday.
He’ll be replaced by country music superstar Martina McBride.
In a statement released early Friday morning, Richie said he had to back out at the last minute because of strained vocal cords.
“I am extremely disappointed to cancel my performance with the Boston Pops but must follow my doctor’s orders. It was such an honor being asked to celebrate the Fourth of July with this legendary orchestra and I hope to perform with them in the future.”
This is a shame because he already had the sweet white and blue shirt. If he added some red, he would be all set for Monday. Also, it would have been a nice break from the country music the world seems to be trying to cram down our throats. I mean, sure, you probably would have had a ton of people making sweet, sweet love on the esplanade, but that's the price you pay for the smooth, dulcet tones of Mr. Lionel Richie. We could have had a Fourth of July baby boom because of him. Freedom babies. Everyone wins. Now we have more country music. Awesome. Now, I have no idea what Martina McBride sings, but I know this. There won't be any Martina McBride Freedom baby boom going on in the Bay state.
-Big Ran
PS: Boom. Freedom Babies. I mean, this is how you make a F*CKING VIDEO.
Lawmaker Compares Lobbyist Badges to Holocaust Tattoos
Boston.com - The Anti-Defamation League New England has called for an apology from a state lawmaker who, in criticizing a proposal to require lobbyists to to wear badges, compared them with Holocaust victims.
“Casual references to the Holocaust in a legitimate discussion about domestic Ethic Reform are offensive and destructive,” said Derrek L. Shulman, regional director of ADL New England.
Representative John Binienda, a Worcester Democrat who heads the House Rules Committee, said a Republican proposal to force lobbyists to wear badges while talking to lawmakers smacked of tattoos that Jews were forced to wear.
“The idea of the badge by lobbyists to me, I kind of find that revolting,” Representative John Binienda, a Worcester Democrat, told the State House News Service in article posted this morning. “Hitler during the concentration camps tattooed all of the Jewish people so he would know who was a Jew and who wasn’t, and that’s something that I just don’t go along with.”
Shulman called for Binienda to “retract and apologize for his comments immediately, and demonstrate his understanding of why his comments are outrageous.”
House Republicans made the proposal as part of a package of ethics changes offered after former House Speaker Salvatore F. DiMasi was convicted on federal corruption charges earlier this month.
DiMasi, who took a kickback in exchange for getting a software contract approved, is the third consecutive speaker to plead guilty to or be convicted of a felony.
The proposal to require badges for lobbyists was pitched by Republicans as a transparency measure, so that members of the public, the press, and lawmakers themselves would know which special interests were attempting to influence lawmaking.
Even though lawmakers know many of the lobbyists, the badges would serve as a reminder, Republicans have said. Binienda told the News Service that was unnecessary.
“I know who the lobbyists are when I go out there,” said Binienda.
Really? This guy was serious with this sh!t? I mean, he made several references to the Holocaust and he doesn't think that maybe, just maybe he's venturing into territory that may be a bit dicey? No? Unless we will be rounding up lobbyists and sending them into gas chambers, I think they can deal with wearing an ID badge. I know that viewpoint may be really out there, so you can address your complaints to our e-mail account.
Obligatory Office Space quote: "You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear." ~ Peter Gibbons
-Big Ran
PS: And people ask me why I wanted to move out of Worcester after growing up there. At least I was born in Boston.
Ok, so, due to some life changes that were out of my control (namely, becoming suddenly single after my boyfriend of over three years just suddenly walked out on me and our home out of nowhere---seriously!), I'm considering getting a dog. I need help in the healing process and even though I used to be the #1 anti-pooch person, I feel totally different now. I owe this change of heart to Ceasar, my ex's Pitbull, who was the most loyal, loving, snuggly dog ever. We were arch rivals in many ways as I ran around cleaning up after he left his hair all over the house, but in the end, I truly loved this little guy. Unfortunately, I have no idea what happened to our relationship, and seemingly overnight, and without warning, I am left single and dog-less now.
So, where is this post going? I know that you're all used to our lighthearted, ridiculous posts. Don't worry, this one will not disappoint. I apologize for the depressing preface, but I had to let everyone know what's going on. That's why Big Ran, one of my best friends, has been carrying the blog for a while now. He's amazing, isn't he? So, as I've been on petfinder.com I've noticed that there seems to be a plethora of dogs with RIDICULOUS names. The names are not only ridiculous for the dogs, but embarrassing for certain people whose images and likenesses are being used without their permission.
Consider the following:
1. Kelly Clarkson: Yes, that's right. A greyhound named after an American Idol winner. Unbelievable. I fail to see the similarities or how this could have even happened. How embarrassing would it be to call the vet and let them know you had to bring in your dog named Kelly Clarkson? How dumb would your neighbors think you were if they heard you calling "Kelly Clarkson" back into the house after she'd been out for a while running around. And, more importantly, what would Kelly Clarkson say if she found out? Ummmm...I'd be kind of embarrassed. On a side note, if you're interested in adopting Kelly (the canine, not the singer), check out the link: http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/16344722
Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Clarkson
2. Clarissa Billburry: What? This female German Shepherd most likely wouldn't have picked this name for herself. Also, why are people giving their dogs last names? I thought that their last name would be your last name? German Shepherds are suppose to be this strong, smart, intimidating breed. With a name like that, she's just going to get a lot of 'huhs'? and 'excuse mes?' And, because this isn't a celebrity name, how did someone come up with it? She's a homeless dog, dealing with a heart problem, hasn't she been through enough? I could totally deal with Clarissa, but the last name is what really gets me wondering. Check her out, she's cute! http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/19517626
3. Travis Billbury: See #2's commentary. I'm guessing they must be siblings. If not, I'm not sure what to say. http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/19517632
4. Ol' Man: Unacceptable. This is a dog, and he deserves a real name. Sounds like someone was just lazy. This is the equivalent of naming your newborn baby, 'kid' or 'child'. I hope this little guy gets adopted and given a real name. http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/17769008
5. Candy the Wacky Lab: Um, how about just Candy? It's not like you'd name a little boy w/ asthma "Jack the asthmatic boy". It just seems ridiculous to me. Whoever did this does not deserve a pet, ever. Also, that name isn't much of a selling point. Who wants a dog that's already being classified as wacky? *Please note, she also has a brother named "Wizard the Magic Lab". Poor little guy! http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/18464313
6. Henry Thomas: If he were a child, he'd be picked on at school with a name like that. Again, just Henry? Fine. Just Thomas? Cool. Henry Thomas=Nerd Alert. I wonder if he has a last name because it seems clear that he has a first and middle name. The good thing for this pup is that he's a pitbull, so if any of the other doggies taunt him, he can just maul them and put an end to it. http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/16866196
7. Snookie: While Snookie from "The Jersey Shore" is truly an animal in so many ways, it's simply not fair to this dog. Fail! http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/18812820
8. Fanny: No. Frigin. Way. Unfair! I pray that this dog is adopted and given a new name very quickly. Who would do that? http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/18444366
These were some that caught my attention, but there are plenty of others. Go to Petfinder.com to search for yourself and remember my simple rules for naming pets:
1. Avoid naming after celebrities. There CAN be an occasional exception to this rule, but think long and hard before you do it.
2. Avoid giving full names (middle and last names are not necessary).
3. Give REAL names (I'd much rather prefer "Henry Thomas" as dorky as it is, to say, "Bubbles". That's just degrading and/or lazy!)
4. Do not give them generic names such as Fido or Garfield.
5. Do not name them after an animal they aren't. For example, "Tiger". That's just not true and it's stupid.
6. Be creative, but consider how you'd feel if it were your name.
7. Do not name them with titles. For example, Prince, Princess, Dutchess. Gross.
8. No naming after body parts (see #8 above).
We here at "The Takeover" will call the ASPCA if we find out any of our rules have been broken.
-KC Jones
*Big Ran Note: First of all, I am very, very happy to have KC back in the fold. There is NO doubt that I am a much funnier person when she has input here.
Secondly, this is a great post. Mrs. Big Ran and I are getting a second dog next week and it's a girl. I have NO IDEA what to name her. Male dogs are easy to name, it can be almost any male name or after something you like. A friend of mine named her dog Cisco, after Cisco Breweries on Nantucket, it's perfect. We named our first dog Otis, after Otis Redding. My dog growing up was named Buddie. Male dogs are much easier to find a name for.
With all that said, how friggin' awesome are dogs? They are honestly the best things in the world. DOgs are WAY better than people.
Big Ran PS: What happened to Kelly Clarkson?
KC Jones Says: She looks like Meatloaf!
Big Ran note: If Meatlof and Willie Nelson could have a child, this would be it.
So, I've had a few good conversations over text the last few weeks, but this one definitely takes the cake. If this convo looks familiar to you, holler at us!
June 6, 12:52 AM:
Stranger: Holaa
June 7, 12:12 AM:
Stranger: Pole on ur walla are makin me die a little inside
June 7, 9:28 PM:
Me: Hey, who's this? Not sure, but got a couple texts from you.
Stranger: This is bill finklestein a stalker in the west
Me: Niiiiiiiice
Stranger: Yes ive been following on the streetss iam a efficient stalker in fact i got my license in professional stalker oi am the best
Me: Stalker University or Stalker State? State is a safety school.
Stranger: I can not tell you stalker code plus u could track me outside ur house i womnt get back to jail and gety raped again.
Me: I can respect that. Plus without ruphies you remember the raping. Bad times.
Stranger: I feel pretty witty
Me: You're on fire.
Stranger: Its jordan u know this
June 7, 9:46 PM
Me: You're crazy
Jordan: Yep ive lost it <:*>
Me: Got a new phone. Send a pic for caller in
June 7, 10:03 PM:
Jordan:
Jordan: This what u mean
Me: No. Abe dong pics.
Jordan: I will not i am a classy lady
June 7, 10:15 PM:
Me: F
Me: Classy only goes so far.
Jordan: F is not a word it is a letter kremit
Me: That was actually an accident not a reference to a curse word
Me: I am classy too
Jordan: I never hearfd a curse word in my klife ohh myy i am puree ive been corrupted...U are queen elizabeth classy except you do not crap on the working class and homeless people
Me: Not that classy, but I am taller
June 7, 10:56 PM:
Jordan: Yeee yee bloody wankaa
Me: True fact
June 8, 1:06 PM:
Jordan: Truee dat truee dat
June 26, 1:00 AM:
Hey seany how you doin
June 26, 1:38 AM:
Jordan: R
So, as you can see, I think we can deduce a few things:
1. They like to text in the late night/early morning hours and like drinking mid week, so I'm guessing they are younger than me. Plus, there's some text lingo I don't use as an old f*cker.
2. His/her name is Jordan. I'm guessing female, but there is a chance it's Michael Jordan, which would be awesome.
3. Maybe they are a history major in college. That Queen Elizabeth reference and Lincoln Memorial pic were very nice touches.
4. This person has a great sense of humor and is very entertaining to text with.
4. She thinks I'm Sean.
So, where do we go from here? Not sure, but I feel like I need to be on my A game when I respond next.
