Lookin' Good LeBron!

This guy in the FUK LBJ shirt just kills it.  If comedy is all about timing, this guy nailed it.  

If Delonte wasn't balls deep in LeBron's mom, Gloria would be pissed.

Let's go Bulls.  No D-Rose and playing a great game.  Of course it will come down to the fourth quarter, but LeBron will be boarding a plane back to Miami as soon as the third quarter ends.

-Big Ran

PS:  Is that Zuckerberg in the bottom left corner?  The Wiklevoss twins must be sitting up in the nosebleeds.

Have a Heart

First, Jeff Green was lost for the Celtics when he had to have surgery to repair an aortic aneurysm.  Then, today it was announced that Chris Wilcox, a Celtics forward will be done for the season after it was found he needs surgery for an enlarged aorta.

These are both Danny Ainge guys.  He picked up Green in the Kendrick Perkins deal with the Thunder last season that just put a dagger in any chances the Cs had at a title (which were admittedly slim) and Wilcox was a free agent pick up who was paid way too much money based on past health.  Both can certainly contribute; at least that was the hope, especially for Green, who was pretty terrible after the trade last year, but was seen as a major building block post-big three.  

My questions is this:  if you are a free agent after this season and Danny Ainge gives you a call (the Cs will have a ton of free cap space unless they deal expiring contracts before tomorrow's NBA trade deadline), how fast do you hang up?  If I saw Danny Ainge pop up on my caller ID, I would toss my phone right out the window of a moving car, or into the ocean.  I'll keep my aortas, thank you very much.

To end on a positive note, with Jeff Green sidelined, I have noticed  that the man is an amazing dresser.  He just has style for days.  Maybe he could hook Danny up with some advice.

-Big Ran

How Pissed Is Mike D'Antoni?

OK, so Mike D'Antoni will never be confused with Red Auerbach.  He's supposed to be an offensive genius, but couldn't make it work with Stoudemire, Melo, and Linsanity.  With that said, Stoudemire left his knees and corneas in Phoenix and Melo is a f*cking diva and a coach killer.  Fact: the Knicks were 8 - 1 without Melo this year (I think that's right, I don't know if it's a fact).

So, while D'Antoni probably should have been canned earlier, I give him credit for telling the Knicks and Melo to go screw.  However, tonight, the Knicks go out and drop 121 points on the Blazers, winning by 42 points.  That must just f*cking suck.

I have left a few jobs and while I wish them the best, I want them to miss me desperately.  Isn't that what anyone wants?  You don't want a place to get better after you leave.

I can totally picture D'Antoni just absolutely hammered, by himself, contemplating what went wrong in his life.  I have an idea, he chose to coach the Knicks instead of the Bulls.  On the plus side, if they ever film Top Gun 2 and Tom Skerritt is busy, Mike's agent better get on the horn.

-Big Ran

PS: I could also picture D'Antoni just staggering into a bar somewhere in the city and just getting into non-nonsensical arguments with Knicks fans.

Stuck In My Head/Blake for President....

As an NBA Player, you know you've arrived when you are referenced in a rap song. So, just imagine how much more it means when the song's TITLE is your name AND you are referenced constantly throughout the song.

This song is absolutely amazing....I've never heard a song that includes references to both "Family Guy" AND "Blake Griffin". There is absolutely no connection between the two, but that's what makes this my new favorite jam. I only hope I have room on my IPod to add this song to one of my running playlists! I'm not even sure I'll be able to sleep tonight with this song on replay in my head.

I wonder what Blake thinks of this? I wonder if he even KNOWS about it.....if so, I bet he was pretty psyched...and I bet some of his teammates were pretty jealous...

How awesome would it be to actually BE Blake Griffin? Just sayin'......


-KC Jones

Irrational Rant...Ride Wit' Me....

Just a brief rant, as Big Ran and I have decided to let loose this week in anticipation of St. Patrick's Day:

Exercise sucks, the gym sucks, and being the laziest person in the world, I'm amazed that I am able to maintain a solid and consistent workout routine. However, I was particularly amazed the other day when I noticed that some of the stationary bikes are designed to be kind of like video games. This infuriated me as I felt like the designers of these machines think the average person is dumb enough to truly believe that riding a stationary bike could ever be fun! I stared at the bikes as I was on the treadmill and noticed the following messages scroll across the screen:


"Ride With Your Friends"- Um, anyone old enough to use the gym knows that their friends are not inside the bike waiting to pop onto the screen and ride with them. And, when I'm with my friends, good times typically don't include leisurely bike rides. (Unless of course you were involved with the making of Queen's "Bicycle Ride" video---honestly, WTF? I almost lost focus on the true point of this post after getting sidetracked by this mess!)

Queen - Bicycle Race - Uncensored - The best video clips are here

"Catch the Ghost" - Is it Halloween? Why would I be in hot pursuit of a ghost? If the developers of this game changed it to having the ghost chase ME, and, more importantly, if said ghost was real, it would probably help me to pedal faster. Again, I'm way too smart for that. Fail.

"Catch the Red Dragon" -Angry dragon, what? I'm a grown ass adult, first off, I know there are no such thing as dragons. Secondly, if there really WERE dragons, why would I be CHASING something that breathes fire and could kill me?  Finally, it's not even Chinese New Year, so I don't know why they are trying to involve dragons in this mess in the first place.

What I also enjoy is that there are points involved. If you 'catch' the dragon, you can get 500 points. They are redeemable for nothing and unless you have really low self-esteem, I can't imagine how catching the virtual dragon will make you feel a sense of accomplishment at all. I, however, cannot speak from personal experience because I have never tried and never, ever will.

That is all.


-KC Jones

Blake For President!

Everyone knows I'm a rabid NBA fan. I'll watch any and every game, and in addition to being a "Sports Bigamist" as Big Ran calls me, I also have interest in a lot of individual players, even on teams that I don't really 'follow'. This has been building for a while, but my latest obsession is Blake Griffin. This obsession became official once I started seeing him in the Kia commercials. Honestly, how can you NOT like this kid? Look at the personality, look at his facial expressions, and look at the fact that he's not a punk on or off the court. Why can't the C's have him? Oh wait, we don't want any young and talented big men, and if we get them we trade them away.

No real point to this post, but I just wanted to share the Kia commercials as they are so funny. Why hasn't this dude been invited to host SNL yet? I want to kiss whoever came up with these commercials. You might disagree with me, but I think they are just hilarious and every time I see them, they just get better!

1. This is my favorite one, hands down. Why can't he be at the hairdresser when I go there? Best part, "You know who's a great listener, Mary?".......

                      2. The 24 second mark, dude looks like he's going to start laughing. I love it. Doesn't take himself seriously .
3. There he is AGAIN, just hanging out, being a creep in an awesome way!
4. Does anyone else notice how he's just casually feeding the deer behind him?

This guy is just a riot and I don't think people get it! At least Norm does!

P.S. Expect plenty more posts about Blake the Great.

-KC Jones

LeBron James Does Not Care About Wait People...

If anyone needed yet another reason to despise Baby Bron Bron, here you go.....

http://www.sportsgrid.com/golf/lebron-james-tiger-woods-bad-tippers/

We’ve heard whispers for some time that LeBron James and Tiger Woods are notoriously bad tippers, and their respective rankings on the Miami New Times list of the ten worst celebrity tippers only seem to confirm it.
Woods ranked as the No. 1 worst celebrity tipper in the world, while James wasn’t far behind at No. 4. The allegations that Woods and James are far from the most generous tippers in the world seems even more curious when you consider that Woods made $105 million in 2010, while James made $43 million.

And with Woods’ financial situation apparently not being what it once was, I wouldn’t expect his tipping habits to improve anytime soon. As for James, maybe this is what Cleveland fans were referring to when they chanted Scottie Pippen‘s name at him last December.


Just a few things from KC Jones:

*This guy is just a douche, no 'ifs, ands, or buts' about it. Honestly, check out this link from TMZ as well. $10 on an $800 bill? Who does he think he is? I swear to God, if he ended up on the Celtics or the Spurs, I would automatically despise those teams as well. You know the saying, money can't buy class. And LeEgo is a prime example of that. What really boggles my mind is that a lot of these celebrities and athletes come from NOTHING, in the money sense, so you'd THINK they'd go out of their way to have more respect and consideration for the working class. They're such overpaid babies!

Side Note: As far as Tiger Woods is concerned, he is FAR more morally reprehensible than 'The Queen', and all I can say is he's probably also banging LeBron's mom now that Delonte is done with her! BURN! I smile every time I see that he's had a poor performance on the golf course and hope that Elin continues to take him for all he's worth. She should have jammed that golf club right up his a$$!

-KC Jones









*Big Ran Note:  I don't know, Tiger Woods seemed to give that Perkins waitress a pretty good tip.  You know, just the tip to see how it feels.

Irrational Rant...Kony 2012

My rant is not with the organization that put this together.  My rant is with the people that watch a YouTube video, then all of a sudden fancy themselves social activists by posting this on facebook or twitter.  Stop yelling at me!  Nobody supports child armies, abduction, abuse, or slavery.

A few things:

1.  Did you actually watch that entire video?  Probably not.  That video is a half hour long.  There's no way I'm watching a half hour video on YouTube.  If you send me a YouTube link, you get two, maybe three minutes.  That sh!t better be funny as hell or have puppies playing, one or the other.

2.  Do you actually know what country we're talking about?  I bet less than half actually do.  Uganda, bitches.

3.  Can you identify Uganda on a map?  99% chance they can't.  I can't and I'm f*cking dope.  I have multiple passports AND THEY'RE FULL OF VISAS AND STAMPS!!!!!!  I'M AN IMPORTANT PERSON!!!!!!!!!!

I just looked it up.  It's sandwiched between Kenya and whatever The Congo decides to call itself this week.

However, on the plus side, this has also spawned awesome pictures and captions floating around the interwebs, created by people with a similar sense of humor as mine - deranged and sarcastic.  Look, I know I'm a terrible person, so I'm glad there are others who can enjoy life like I do.

My personal favorite.

-Big Ran

Irrational Rant...Feel The Burn

There are few things that infuriate me more than people acting like tools at the gym. My new gym is actually a really nice place, with far fewer of these people (it's true, you get what you pay for--and fortunately, my health insurance reimburses me enough to allow me to have a membership to a better gym now), but there will always be a couple tools that escaped from the box and landed at the gym.

This rant concerns grown men behaving badly at the gym. Specifically, grunting and making other noises, throwing weights down when finished so the floor shakes and trying to 'cut in' on someone else who is using a machine in an efficient manner. This stuff happened so much more at the old clap trap I used to frequent, but it's still relevant as we've all seen it happen.

To The Men Behaving Badly:

Dude, seriously? If you're making THAT much noise, it's very clear that either the weights are too heavy OR that you're trying to get attention. Maybe even both! If the weight is too heavy, grunting will not help you at all. You know what will help? Reducing the total amount of what you're trying to lift. If you're trying to get attention, I hope you're happy with it being negative attention in the form of dirty looks and people exchanging awkward glances in relation to you.


Um, are you attempting to fool the people around you into thinking there's an earthquake or tremor going on? Oh, you're not? Then why are you throwing the weights down so carelessly, making the ground shake? Ah, never mind, I get it, again, trying to call attention to how massive you are(n't).


Remember kindergarten? Specifically the part about taking turns and waiting for your turn? Very important lessons that translate very well into proper gym etiquette. If I am on a machine, and taking a quick rest between reps, there is NO need for you to ask to 'just jump in quick'. I have the machine set to my specifications and I'll be finishing before you use it. Don't ask, because you're not going to get a good reaction from me. I'm not a bitch, I'm just all set with neanderthals who don't 'get it'. It takes me no more than 5 minutes on any one machine. You can wait. I'm not like you, wandering around, checking myself out, and then going back to the machine 15 minutes later. Squatters rights. Look them up!


Finally, I know that for you, going to the gym is all about staring at yourself in the mirror and flexing, taking 17 hours to finish one set, and checking out the females (who are all getting protective orders as soon as they vacate the building). I know that you have never done cardio a day in your life and therefore aren't breaking the same sweat that many of the normal people at the gym are breaking. However, this little fact does not absolve you from having to wipe the machines and benches down when you're done just like everyone else has to. Judging by the intensity of your grunts and moans, you're clearly overexerting yourself and I'm sure sweating. Please clean up after yourself.


Thank you,


KC Jones

Irrational Rant...Crossing Guards

CALM. THE. F*CK. DOWN.  You're not a police officer, you're not doctor, you're not Mother Teresa.  You are one step up from holding a "Will work for food" sign at the same intersection you currently work for two hours a day with a six hour break in between shifts.

I am all for a crossing guard stopping traffic for kids on their way to or from school; no doubt about that.  There are far too many dick weeds behind the wheel to trust them to stop for kids.  I am also totally fine with holding up traffic for parents with kids to and from school.  I am still somewhat OK (not as much) with holding up traffic for buses leaving a school without students on them.  Fine. Whatever.

You know what I am not OK with?  The dumbass crossing guard jumping in to stop traffic for adults without kids.  Calm down hero, I think an adult without children is capable of crossing the street all on their own.  Ugh.  That f*cking bright ass highlighter yellow jacket and gloves, practically jumping on my hood because some dude without kids is approaching the corner and is thinking about crossing the street.

Also, don't f*cking think you're a cop on a detail and start directing traffic when there is clearly no need to do so.  How about you just finish you hour of f*cking work in the morning, head on down to the apartment in your mother's basement, take a nap, eat some Slim Jims, hop on some internet chat rooms, then head on back for hour two of work for the day.  Don't forget your cape, you f*cking superhero. 

-Big Ran   

KC Jones Note: Is that a woman or a man in the picture Big Ran? I can't tell. Kind of looks like Milton from Office Space.