Well, that sucked. Turnovers and no offensive rebounding killed them. KG going 1 - 10 killed them. Ray eventually got a little something going, Delonte had a nice game of the bench for the most part, and Pierce was the only person keeping them in it. I hated seeing it, but LeEgo was great and its too bad the Cs couldn't convert anything off of his late turnover. There's two ways we can go: pack it in and hope the Heat lose the next series, or hope that with their backs up against the wall, the Cs bring it back to Boston for a Game 6. If they take it back to Boston, I'm going to be in the building, its going to be a Friday night and I will personally guarantee a victory. Time to ride or die, bitches. I choose to ride.
There is no doubt about it or any reason to mince words. Tonight's game, just like Game 3 is the season. This is again, the biggest game of the season. You cannot go down 3-1 and have game 5 on the road. The Celtics need to win this game and make it a three game series. You absolutely sell out for tonight, just like Rondo did in Game 3. Leave everything, including elbow ligaments on the court. You win tonight and worry about who's left for Game 5 tomorrow. I don't know how Rondo will feel, but I bet he tries to play if nothing else. From John Havlicek returning with a dislocated shoulder, to McHale playing with a broken foot, to Bird returning after bouncing his dome off the court, to Pierce getting Mr. Miyagi treatment after being carted off in a wheel chair, the Celts need to bring every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears to the Garden tonight (BST bitches!).
KC Jones: You're never gonna believe this Big Ran, but apparently accordion-rocking doppelganger got one too! Rumor has it they went together and even got a group discount!
Poor Whit is going back to rehab and for today's Super Terrific Happy Hour, we'll throw out some of her career highlights as well as my theory why she is back in treatment.
This had to be her peak, right? I mean when people talk about National Anthem performences, this is always #1 on the list.
I never really got into her music, but this was always another great hit for me:
The unlikely pairing with Kevin Costner:
There was the reality show before the divorce:
Finally, and I am sure KC can add much more substance to this whole post, my theory as to why she's back in rehab. When a chubby Asian kid can sing your biggest hit better than you can now, that's a lot to deal with when Bobby Brown isn't around.
-Big Ran
PS: Just in case anyone wanted to shop for crack...
So this weekend, Mrs. Big Ran and I watched her sister's two boys (four and six years old) Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon. Let me tell you thin right now, I think that there should be a law instituted that if you are thinking of having kids, you are required to take care of someone else's kids overnight. In fact, they should force all high school kids to do this. Forget Sex Ed class, this would do the trick.
My wife got to her sister's house around 1 pm on Saturday and when I headed over there around 5 pm, she looked like a broken woman. I am going to skip to some of the fun details I experienced myself, but suffice it to say, I got there just in time. Trying to keep kids away from a stove while you are making them dinner? Terrifying. Making sure they finish dinner? Excruciating. The six year old was fine eating, but needed me to then play with Legos or Wii with him immediately after he was done. The four year old, had like three bites of soup before plunging both hands in to play with it for the 6 seconds it took me to put his brother's dish in the sink. So, the newly bathed and pajama'd kid is now covered in noodle soup. I give him a paper towel which he puts into the soup, then when it is saturated, into his mouth. Awesome.
We then go to the basement to play Wii, "Duck, Duck, Goose," and rock out to Bon Jovi before reading and going to bed by 8 pm. It is 9 pm before they seem to be as asleep. Ultimately, the four year old ends up sleeping with the six year old. No prob, their parents aren't home, so that's weird for them. We go to bed around midnight after the Celtics game and by 1:15 am, the six year old is in our room crying because his brother moves around too much. So, at this point we now have me, my wife, a six year old, and two dogs in our bed. My wife eventually ends up in the six year old's bed with the four year old.
Dude, kids move around like crazy when they sleep. I was literally up every 10 minutes and at one point, his head was hanging off the side of the bed while his feet were in my chest. At 5:30 am we have the following discussion:
6 yr old: Can we get up now, it's light out?
Big Ran: How about we try to sleep a little longer?
6 yr old: How about 6?
Big Ran: How about 7?
6 yr old: OK, I'm just going to play with the dogs.
Needless to say, we got up. To watch cartoons, and play with more Legos, and have breakfast, and change, and play soccer, and to ride bikes, and to cry. At one point, the four year old just looks up at me and says: "I wiped my nose on your shirt." He sure did, like really yellow snot all over the bottom of my shirt.
If they had high school kids actually take care of kids, they would never have sex.
-Big Ran
KC Jones' Comments: This is priceless. Choice of words, descriptions, etc, everything is superb!
Have you ever been sitting in your cube and been overtaken with the nauseating smell of fish, curry, or some other objectionable aroma? Have you ever been trying to concentrate and been distracted by someone crunching away in the aisle next to you? Have you ever had someone in your cube but you can't hear what they're saying because your cube neighbor is slurping away? Take consolation in knowing that most other people in the working world have suffered the same injustices as well! In order to vent and educate the general public, I'd like to provide some basic guidelines for grazing in the office.
The Takeover's Rules for Cubicle (and Office) Cuisine:
1. Not every type of food should be brought into your office or cube. Just because YOU like the smell of fish (or curry, or egg salad, etc), doesn't mean everyone else does. As a matter of fact, I LOVE fish, but the smell? Not so much. And, when we're working in close quarters in large buildings where the windows are bolted shut to prevent us from jumping, any particularly pungent food should be reserved for consumption in the cafeteria or NOT AT ALL. Every Tuesday is "Indian Buffet" day at my company. While I have NO interest in this sort of food, I have no problem with it as long as it's kept in the cafeteria. Unfortunately, many people are inconsiderate and feel that it is okay to feast on it from the comfort of their cubes. FAIL! The only exception to this rule is when someone has let you in on a secret. For example, a good buddy of mine, whom we shall call Malcolm, used to bring fish up to his cube every Friday. It was gross and enraging until he let us in on his motivation: He was doing it to irritate the hell out of the biggest witch with a 'b' who sat in front of him. And it DID irritate her, and she was VERY loud about it. She was so awful to EVERYONE, so as soon as I learned of his reasons, I was actually very supportive. She didn't last too long in our department and there's no more fish on Fridays.
2. Dispose of Properly: When you are done with your food, assess the situation. Is the trash left behind something that will fester and nauseate those around you if you dump it into the bin in your cube? If the answer is 'yes' (think: leftover salad with strong dressing, anything with sauce, a bite of a tuna sandwich, etc), get your lazy ass up and bring it to the trash in a common area where it will not bother people. This is so simple I shouldn't even have to say it. If you lack the common sense or consideration to follow this rule, you should have your tongue cut out so you can no longer enjoy food.
3. Snack time: If you're anything like me, you pretty much have to eat constantly, so you have a wide array of snacks on hand at all times. This is great, except when people use their snacks as "Weapons of Mass Distraction". What does this mean, you ask? Snacks become weapons when someone is crunching super loudly for WAY longer than need be (chips, carrots, pretzels, are frequent offenders) or when someone is slurping away or making another type of disgusting/disruptive noise with every sip or bite. We have a dude here who I refer to as "Captain Crunch". EVERY day he has at least three snacks that result in extended periods of chomping and crunching. As a matter of fact, he's doing it RIGHT NOW! It's SO annoying to the people who sit around him. How in God's name is he unaware of how obnoxious it is? People have to pull out headphones at certain times in order to drown him out so they can focus on their work. Thank GOD I don't have to sit next to this distraction. Also, in a former department of mine, we had 'the slurper'. This guy needs to be put down anyway because he's just offensive in EVERY way. (In future "Office Etiquette" posts, I will address "The Slurper" in greater detail). With every sip, he would toss your concentration right off the tracks. Unacceptable. One of these days, someone is going to go toss his hot and steamy beverage right on his lap and laugh. And I won't blame them.
4. Produce: Sometimes we choose to get bad snacks instead of eating the healthy food we bring in from home. This is all fun and games until the fruit sitting on someone's desk begins to rot. General rule: two days. If you haven't eaten it in two days, please get rid of it. No one wants to smell rotting bananas or be chased around the office by an aggressive pack of fruit flies.
5. Cleanup time: If you do eat in your cube, please clean up after yourself. There's nothing more disgusting than entering someone's cube or office for something work related and leaving with a grease stain on the paper you're holding or with crumbs on your sleeves because you rested your arm on their desk. Even worse is having your hand stick when you put it on someone's desk. Seriously, have some pride people. Would you do this at home? If the answer is "yes", then you're gross and you should stay there instead of coming to work each day.
After Chris Bosh's spectacular 6 point, 5 rebound performance at the Garden in game three, we hear that he battled through a stiff neck from sleeping the wrong way (:42 second mark is awesome as the reporter asks how he hurt his neck, then audibly laughs at him). This came out AFTER we saw Rajon Rondo have his arm bent the wrong way after being assisted to the ground by Wade, come back 15 minutes later and play the entire fourth quarter. Not seen in this clip is how Bosh let his nerves get to him because of the crowd. Watch him get up from the table, also a classic moment. If you are going to the game tonight, I beg of you to go absolutely crazy. If you have to crush Red Bulls, do a mountain of coke Tony Montana style, whatever it takes to get yourself going. The Heat cannot handle it. Bosh especially, but LeEgo can't handle not being loved every minute of the day. Crush their spirits.
Onto the Dynamically Douchey Duo of D-Wade and LeEgo. When Bron Bron doesn't like questions from reporters, apparently he resorts to calling them "retarded" like a nine year old (:21 second mark). In all honesty, Bron is most likely the one who has had retarded social growth and really does act like a petulant nine year old. I pray that a reporter asks him about that quip at some point, so I can hear what bullshit he comes up with. I also hope someone asks them if they go sweater shopping together.
How about these two? Singer Katy Perry (left) and actress Zooey Deschanel (right). I think we might be dealing with twins separated at birth. Look at them. I think that these two look even more alike than the Barber twins, who are actual factual biological twins, who shared a uterus, a birth canal, and all that fun stuff.
For men, the fact that TWO women this beautiful exist is proof that God loves you. The fact that Katy is married to Russell Brand is proof that He also has a raging sense of humor.
And guys? Please refrain from imagining Katy kissing Zooey a la her award-winning breakthrough song.
As a woman, I can totally relate to this woman's frustration level. Although I am not condoning violence, I am saying that this is hilarious. Also, thanks to Mr. Allen for clarifying the type of pot he was beaten with, "the kind you cook corn in". I'd like to see the dynamic of this relationship on a day to day basis. Happy Mutha's Day Ike & Tina! (roles reversed of course).
Woman Allegedly Bashes Boyfriend With Cooking Pot After He Fails to Buy Her Mother's Day Gift
Published May 09, 2011 | New York Post
A New York mom allegedly whacked her baby daddy over the head with a cooking pot because she was furious that he did not buy her a Mother's Day gift, the New York Post reported Monday.
"I hit him with a pot, and I'm glad I did," Aretavia Kimbrough, 28, allegedly told cops after nailing boyfriend Charmean Allen, 28, with the pot, leaving him with a four-inch gash and a big lump on his head. "I've been with him for seven years, and he never bought me [anything,]" she added to cops.
But Allen, who has an eight-month-old son with Kimbrough, later said, "I was going to get her balloons and candy and take her to dinner. But I can't take her to dinner because the police aren't releasing her."
With his head still wrapped in bandages, Allen added, "She has a little bit of a temper, I'd say. This is probably the end for us. But I'll take care of my kid." Allen said Kimbrough woke him in their Stapleton apartment, on Staten Island, at around 7 a.m. local time, demanding to know what he had bought her to celebrate her first Mother's Day. He immediately realized he was in trouble.
Kimbrough was holding their son, Charmean Allen Jr., in one arm -- and a large pot, "the kind you cook corn in," in her other hand, he said. As he tried to explain that he had hoped to purchase gifts and take her to dinner, she walloped him on the head with the pot, and then stormed out of the room, Allen said. The wounded boyfriend said he called a friend on the phone to get help. The pal then called 911, Allen said.
When police and emergency services arrived, Allen told them that he did not need to go to the hospital and that he did not want to press charges against Kimbrough. But cops arrested the "crazed-looking" mom anyway. Kimbrough was expected to be arraigned on domestic-violence charges Monday, law-enforcement sources said.
