KC Jones' favorite flopper, Spurs guard, Manu Ginobili, and a dude with floppy hair, Adrien Brody.
Manu
Adrien
Adrien
Manu
Goofy, floppy hair, big noses, not bad. I'm sure our favorite sports bigamist, KC, will have some nice comments in defense of her boy, Manu.
-Big Ran
KC Jones says: Manu is awesome. One of the best in the NBA- and although my boys are struggling right now, they'll begin their comeback tomorrow night.
I received the following email this morning from a friend of mine here in the cube farm:
From: Awesome, Amy
Sent: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 9:22 AM To: Jones, KC Cc: Subject: Blog ideas
In the office etiquette piece of your blog could you please write something about loud employees and speakerphone users.
Thanks!
Because she is a huge supporter of our endeavors here at "The Takeover", and because I wholeheartedly agree with her, I am more than happy to oblige.
These days, many of us work in cubes rather than private offices (although, Big Ran is definitely running the show at his P.O.E (place of employment) and I think he is big pimpin' like Jay-Z...he might even have his own suite for people to come, lay down, and read). Anyway, this sort of environment can be noisy and distracting, and it's something we just have to deal with. Most of the time it's fine, and if you work with cool peeps, it's fun to have people around who you can just chat with from over the cube walls. However, every once in a while, you have a person who is so busy and so important, that they have to conduct every single phone call they make or receive via speaker phone. One word for this: UNACCEPTABLE! This is inconsiderate and rude, and there's no way to justify it as far as I'm concerned*.
A few comments regarding these situations:
When someone is on speaker phone, they tend to shout, so the person on the other end can hear them better. Most of the time, this shouting is so loud, the entire floor can hear the conversation. Also, calls conducted via speaker phone tend to be peppered with words and phrases such as "what?" and "can you repeat that?" Can you say distraction? Also, can you say ineffective?
If a cube neighbor is on the phone or trying to have a conversation in their own cell, it is extremely difficult for him/her to concentrate because they can't hear anything but Loudmouth Linda or Megaphone Mike next to them.
There is no consideration given to the person on the other end of the call. I, for one, will point blank tell people to pick up the receiver if they call me on speaker phone. Couple of reasons for this: First, I don't want to aggravate the people around the person who is calling me, (because I'm so loud anyways), and secondly, I don't want everyone hearing me! I hate the sound of my voice, assume other hate it as well, and additionally, what I'm saying isn't everyone else's business. Even if the person calling has an office, I put the kibosh on speaker phone immediately.
If you aren't using your hands to hold the receiver, what are you using them for when you're on a call? You can't possibly be typing or doing anything else meaningful because you should be concentrating on what the other person is saying.
*There is one exception to my ban on the use of speaker phone: people missing their arms or hands--I mean, if you don't have hands and/or arms, I can understand that you might need to employee this method. However, ....BOTH arms or BOTH hands have to be missing. If you have one, you can pick up the receiver. I know I'm a jerk, but after almost 10 years in the corporate jungle, you have to feel my pain.
Megaphone Mike- WRONG!
Loudmouth Lou- FAIL!
Doesn't even know how to use speakerphone, but still a problem.
I did last night. I have Netflix (BALLER!) so when there isn't much going on I'll throw on something random and let me tell you, investing 40 minutes in an episode of MacGyver is well worth it. The clip I'm throwing on here is long, but the open and into to the show are just awesome (1st 8:42).
If you want to skip it, I'll trow out a few highlights:
-Right from the start we know that they have dropped him in some crappy Middle Eastern/Eurasian country that must have ties to communism and terrorism. How do we know this? Clearly by the camels and the overacting.
-We learn that MacGyver was a Boy Scout. I mean, come on. Of course he was.
-His job is to steal a map with clearly marked spots of terrorist attacks in the US. Did the Bush administration or the current Obama administration thought about this? Just send in one dude to steal a map and we're set. Mac could probably find Bin Laden while he's at it.
-He was able to fool that woman because of her gender. Stupid woman. She's only good for cooking and cleaning.
-If you do nothing else, go to the 5 minute mark for the desert chase scene where Mac runs across the desert, slides down the sand on the map, then hops in a hot air balloon that he had ready to go.
-Could he use the duct tape to fix the bullet hole? Sure and it would have worked better, but then he couldn't have stuck it to the guys that were chasing him like he did by using the map.
Overall, A+ material and delivery for Richard Dean Anderson. Apparently, there is a live action, feature length MacGyver movie in the works for 2013. I hope they release it on VHS just for old times sake.
If today were April 1st, I'd be thinking, "Wow, this April Fool's joke by the Spurs is a little extreme given what's at stake--couldn't they have just put a whoopee cushion on Coach Pop's seat instead?". Sadly, it's April 25 and no one is joking. I'm hoping that Big Ran will be merciful towards me in his taunts regarding the pathetic performances by the Spurs in the first round of the playoffs. He'll be right when he says they are playing like geriatrics, but I love my Spurs, and when they lose, I become distraught. I'm thinking I might have to take of the rest of the week off and seek grief counseling in order to cope with what has gone on thus far.
The Facebook taunts and sarcastic text messages are rolling in and Mr. KC Jones cheered every time Memphis scored against the Spurs.It's a lot for me to take and I'm thinking of joining EHarmony in order to find a nice new boyfriend who happens to be a Spurs fan as well . Seriously, this was the #1 team in the West, the #2 team overall, and they are playing like a youth league team. Tonight they couldn't hit ANYTHING. Popovich was sitting on the bench, despondent, and a double digit loss was the final result. This, after they were up by 2 at half time and after they swept Memphis in the regular season. The series is now 3-1 and only eight teams have come back from this sort of deficit. Timmy and company are one game away from elimination. How can this be? Is this God punishing the Spurs for Tony Parker's infidelity when he was married to Eva Longoria? I bet she is THRILLED right now, and I don't blame her, but remember Timmy, Manu, and the rest of the innocent victims who are suffering as well.
This is not the team that had a choke hold on the rest of the league throughout the regular season. It's going to take a miracle for them to win the next three straight....but it looks like someone is on their side....
I'll be having a candlelight vigil tomorrow night in anticipation of Game 5 on Wednesday night. If the outcome is not satisfactory on Wednesday night, I'm going to need all sharp objects removed from my reach. I realize this post seems extremely dramatic, and I hope everyone got a good laugh....but that's how seriously I take my Spurs.
So, for now, I'm just going to play this video and cry myself to sleep.
-KC Jones
PS- Go Thunder! Let's get this done tonight---I think Big Ran will agree with my enthusiasm as it relates to Oklahoma City since our boy Perk got shipped there.
Does anyone else have posters like this hanging in their office? I do and I have no idea how these would possibly improve the atmosphere or function of an organization. If you need a poster to inspire you to do your job, you are a loser and you probably like blueberry coffee too.
There are two hanging in the processing unit of my office, one is for Teamwork, and reads: "It is a fact that in the right formation, a group of wings can achieve twice the flight of a single bird." The other is for Communication, telling us to "Build bridges, not walls." First of all, is it a fact about that bird formation shit? I didn't see any citations from Stephen Hawking or anything. The second one had to be one of the last "Communication" posters made, because that is some weak shit right there. They either ran through every other possible saying for communication or this was the writer's inarticulate son that still lives in his or her basement.
I just really don't understand how people can spend money on these. I realize we may not be breaking the bank, but I am sure they were ordered from Staples, or W.B. Mason, or Dunder Mifflin, with ridiculous, jacked-up prices. Not only that, but someone took the time to pick one out, either pay to have it framed or did it themselves, and honestly thought, "Wow, this is going to make such a difference in workplace moral."
I would be much more fired up to work in a place that either just put some decent art on the walls or had the stones and sense of humor to hang something like this:
-Big Ran
KC Jones' thoughts: I agree w/ Big Ran 110%, and I have another poster that I'm thinking of putting up in our office here:
...Tryin' to take it, so you better hide your weed, hide your bong, hide your weed, hide your bong...
Well, Easter weekend was quite exciting for our friend Antoine Dodson, who was arrested for possession of marijuana in his home state of Alabama. I'm sure many of you remember Antoine from his famous "Bed Intruder" interview that was subsequently turned into a song. If not, or if you just want to see it again, see below. Once you've watched, you can scroll down for my commentary on the situation.
Original Interview:
Song:
Now, before you pass judgment on this man, remember what he's been through:
-Someone was climbin' in his windows
-Snatchin' his people up
-Tryin' rape 'em so he had to warn err'body to: hide they kids, hide they wives, and hide they husbands cause they rapin' err'body
-Then he had to take to the airwaves to let the intruder know that he didn't have to confess, because he was comin' to find him because he was so dumb, for real.
After all that, Antoine had to deal with his overnight celebrity status, and, truthfully, it had to be a little overwhelming for him. So, how can you blame the guy for toking up in order to deal with the Post Traumatic Stress?
I wouldn't be surprised if he's found with it again either, especially after this mugshot surfaced. This dude has MUCH better hair than what's being showcased here.
-KC Jones
Update from Big Ran:
A. In the mugshot Antoine looks like a "Who" from How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
B. If Antoine wants to toke, he needs to move to MA. Not only is it only a fine, but now the cops can't even use the scent of weed in a car to search for it.
C. I think Antoine was, in the words of Lawrence Taylor, "set up like a mother f*cker!" I bet the Alabama police planted evidence. FREE ANTOINE DODSON! FREE ANTOINE DODSON!
Pretty crazy and I'm not sure how I missed it before, but after watching so much basketball lately, I realized that Ray Allen looks just like the guy that played Jesus Shuttlesworth in He Got Game. I mean, just like him...
Jesus Shuttlesworth
Ray Allen
I'm not sure who played Shuttlesworth in the movie and it was a while ago, but its still pretty uncanny. Ray Ray definitely has a twin out there somewhere.
“I’d like to see him play in Minnesota and see how he does."
This was D'Antoni's quote before Game 4 of the Celts - Knicks series when asked about Rajon Rondo. Rondo promptly responded with 21 points on 8 of 12 shooting, 12 assists, and 5 rebounds. Hey coach, how's your coaching career working out without Steve Nash?
I just think he's insecure about looking like Tom Skerritt circa Top Gun:
Based on D'Antoni's in-game interviews and when he is mic'd up during timeouts, I have never been happier to have Doc Rivers as the coach of the Boston Celtics.
Shortly after we are born, we are given a name. We are called by name from this point forward and I can't imagine a situation (unless one has been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer's much later in life) in which someone would need a constant reminder of it hanging from their body. That brings me to today's rant: people who wear their names on necklaces, earrings, bracelets, or other pieces of jewelry. You know what I'm talking about, and in my humble opinion it's absolutely absurd. See below for clarification in case you are unsure:
Really? Why is this necessary? Have you ever been introduced to someone who has said; "Oh, hi, I'm (looks down towards their cleavage for a quick reminder) Chelsea." or, have you ever encountered someone who needs a minute to take their earring out or look down at their hand or wrist to check the name spelled out on their ring or bracelet? No? I didn't think so.
In addition to broadcasting your name to every single creep you come in contact with (which is just risky, especially as a young woman---can you say 'stalker'?), the jewelry is always cheap and ghetto fab. Think about it; in your day to day life, have you ever seen a woman who you would define as classy wearing personalized jewelry? Right, I didn't think so. I imagine that these pieces probably leave a nice green ring against the skin when they are removed each night. Every so often, a ridiculous celebrity will show up wearing something like this. Even then, although their pieces probably are costly, it just looks STUPID and somehow, despite the price, it still looks cheap. It actually makes me angry. I just equate this jewelry with trash, based on actual people I've known who wear it. I've seen girls at the gym, wearing these HUGE hoops with their names through the middle, and, depending on my mood, I've had to fight my urge to walk up to them and rip them from their ears.
As you read this post and think, "What's wrong with KC Jones?" or "Who cares about this? She's not being forced to wear this stuff.", remember, this post is an "IRRATIONAL RANT". I'm aware that this issue should not upset or otherwise negatively affect me at all, but the reality is this; it does. This is my futile attempt to rid the world of nameplate jewelry. Won't you join me?
-KC Jones
Big Ran Note: This is an epic video from start to finish. They picked the perfect dog for Snoop to morph into, a Doberman. This video really makes no sense from start to finish, but I like how they are showing that dogs of all sizes and breeds can be straight up Gs and hustlas.
I think I speak for both Big Ran and myself when I thank the Celtics for not ruining Easter. While they totally quit at the end of the 3rd and beginning of the 4th, I liked what we saw for the most part. Production from everyone (not just the Big Four, but Big Baby, West, etc.), smothering defense, and toughness. The first half of the game showed what the Celtics are capable of if they commit to winning. I like that team's chances. However, since there is always a chance that they'll regress back to what we saw as a 23 point lead was squandered, I remain nervous and sometimes skeptical. Anyway, in addition to ending the series in 4 games, another positive is the fact that Baby Bron Bron, D-Bag, and Company COULDN'T get it done against Philly today (another Easter miracle!). This means more rest for the Celtics before the next round, which SHOULD (barring a miracle) be a matchup against the Heat. So, in honor of our team's series sweep, let's get pumped for the next series.
P.S. Spike- better luck next year!
P.P.S. Since it looks like we'll be facing Miami, everyone get their masks printed out in honor of the rumored love affair between Delonte and Gloria James. Hey Lebron, you've been bad and your stepfather and his friends will be coming to spank you soon!
