*KC Jones says: On a related note, while Adrian might be "the t*ts", Big Baby has some t*ts YESSSSSSSS!!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Adrian Gonzalez is the Tits!
*KC Jones says: On a related note, while Adrian might be "the t*ts", Big Baby has some t*ts YESSSSSSSS!!
Let's Go Thunder!
Hey, remember in February when Kendrick Perkins was shipped out of Boston, taking only his wounded pride, the team's chemistry, and the Celtics' identity as a true Championship contender this season? Yeah, I do too. Well, Perkins & Co. will be going to the Western Conference Finals. Good Luck dude, we're pulling for you! Remember, the best revenge is to lead the good life (and win a championship immediately after being traded). On a related note, Perk's former teammates in Boston began their summer vacation last week. Thanks Danny!
-KC Jones
*Big Ran Note: That is an EPIC picture of Trader Danny. Looks like he should be starring in a Rolaids commercial.
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| Hmmm....what will I think of next? |
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*Big Ran Note: That is an EPIC picture of Trader Danny. Looks like he should be starring in a Rolaids commercial.
A Couple Quick Things
When you are highfalutin bloggers like KC and I, you are depended upon to bring the heat every single day. I am bringing no heat today, I've got nothing. Anyway, I thought I would just pass along a couple of strange/awesome things I saw on Friday and Sunday.
So, on Friday I am driving home from work, stopped at a red light (not a jacker in sight, holla at Ice Cube). And I see a fat guy jogging. He had the whole running get up, shoes, dri fit shirt, etc. In addition, he was also carrying a large pizza in one hand. Honest to God, this dude was jogging while carrying a pizza, presumably as his reward for jogging. That's pretty great to see and I am just laughing my ass off. I look around at other drivers an it is like they don't even see him, not even a glance out the window. What is wrong with these people? Am I the only one who thought that was amazing? This story might not translate well without seeing it.
My second story comes from Sunday when I was driving and there was a bird standing in the middle of the road. A small, black bird, just standing there facing traffic. Not flying away, just chillin. I drove around it. but this think didn't budge. There are only three possibilities for why this occured:
1. The bird is injured or dead and can't move (but it was on it's feet, not lying down)
2. It's a stuffed bird and someone is pranking everyone
3. This is the most gangsta bird I have ever seen.
I'm going with thee because this dude was not budging. Just playing chicken with cars as they passed. Or, maybe it had a death wish. Who knows.
So, as you can tell, big weekend for Big Ran when those are the stories I pass along.
-Big Ran
KC Jones note: Big Ran is the funniest person I know, period. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Super Fan....
Never thought I'd say it, but desperate times call for desperate measures....Given the recent elimination of the Celtics, I am, for the duration of the Miami/Chicago series, this guy's #1 Fan. Like I said, desperate times=desperate measures. Did anyone else see him just abusing the entire Heat roster last night? Truth be told, I'd love this dude if he were in green (or black and silver). His mere presence, especially his appearance is a distraction. So, let's all give a wide, gap toothed grin to JOAKIM NOAH!
-KC Jones
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| Yeah? Well come and get it, b*tch! |
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| With a little styling gel, he'd have frizz free curls women kill for! |
Hey D-Wade, Did What's His Name Get at You Yesterday?
Who? DEEEEEZ NUTS!
When your team loses in the playoffs, there are two ways you can go:
1. Root for the team that beat you so it justifies your team's loss
2. Root for the team they are playing so they can go home and sit on the couch too.
Obviously there are several variables, but most of the time I am opting for option two, especially in this case. The Miami Heat cannot possibly lose enough in my opinion. Anyone who roots for the Heat better be a genuine Miami Heat fan (all 16 of them) or else you are a total front running chump. I hope that the Bulls absolutely embarrass the Heat throughout this series. D-Wade has exposed himself as one of the biggest whiners in the league (KC Jones was well in front of the curve on this one) and LeEgo, for all his talent, is an amazingly unlikeable person. You want to sign with another team as a free agent? Fine. You want to have a TV show to screw your old team live? Douche bag hall of fame.
That's why yesterday's game was so satisfying. If the Celtics can't win, I just hope the Heat lose. Does that make me a sore loser? Maybe, but I would at least like to think of myself as a selectively bad loser.
-Big Ran
PS: KC is carrying this blog today. I have it in my contract that on rainy days I get to act like a whiney little beyotch.
KC Jones agrees 200% w/ Big Ran's thoughts as he presents them in this post. GO BULLS! We're not poor sports, just devoted fans who don't have any use for the showboating that goes on in M-I-A....again, looks like Bron Bron might have left his talents in South Beach this past weekend.
After the clip above, this was my second favorite play of the night:
Lunchtime Look-a-Like
Today I'd like to mix it up a little bit. These two don't necessarily look alike in real life, but in their mugshots, I think they could be brothers (in more than one sense of the word):
The similarities are very obvious. Both men appearing heavier than usual and bloated (especially ODB) in their mug shots. Both have distant looks in their eyes, like they are under the influence of something, whether it be drugs or alcohol. Neither has showered or shaved in days judging by the crazy hair on their heads and faces. Clearly, both men are dealing with demons. Here's hoping D'Angelo doesn't meet the same demise as ODB. Let's all pour out a little liquor for our fallen homie.
-KC Jones
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| Ol' Dirty Bastard of The Wu-Tang Clan |
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| R&B Singer D'Angelo |
The similarities are very obvious. Both men appearing heavier than usual and bloated (especially ODB) in their mug shots. Both have distant looks in their eyes, like they are under the influence of something, whether it be drugs or alcohol. Neither has showered or shaved in days judging by the crazy hair on their heads and faces. Clearly, both men are dealing with demons. Here's hoping D'Angelo doesn't meet the same demise as ODB. Let's all pour out a little liquor for our fallen homie.
-KC Jones
Fast Forward...Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Let's be honest, being part of the working class day in and day out, week after week, month after month, and year after year can be a real drag, especially when you're cooped up in a cube and/or office. Without an end in sight (other than death or retirement 30+ years away), you can sometimes get depressed. So, here's a little activity we named "Scratch Ticket Mania" that will restore your hope and at least give you something fun to look forward to each month or week, or however frequently you choose.
Several co-workers and I came up with this and participated for a short time because we were (and still are) all set with being part of the working class. We get paid monthly (yes, we are rich for one weekend and then destitute for the next three--or FOUR!), and decided that on the Friday we got paid, we'd throw $20 a piece in and one of us would go and buy scratch tickets. The person purchasing the tickets could do whatever they wanted: ten $10 dollar tickets, five $20 tickets, twenty $5 tickets, etc etc....you get the point. The Monday morning following pay day, we'd scratch away and although we'd be aggravated that we woke up early to come to work, that aggravation would be quickly forgotten when we won our millions and never had to work again. I mean, there were 5 of us involved, each putting in $20, how could we at LEAST not 'win' our $100 back? We knew we might not win big right away, but we were positive that we'd retain our original contributions and then reinvest until we became zillionaires! Guess what? Three months later, we were all still working, each of us $60 lighter in the wallet. We decided to take a short hiatus from this plan. but now with the nice weather coming up and our motivation at work going down, we're reconsidering. I have a feeling that we'll be reinstating STM come our June payday.
Although losing was depressing, the hope and excitement during the build up to the monthly scratching was fun. We'd imagine all the fun trips we'd take, the huge palaces we'd buy, and the creative and awesome ways in which we'd give our notices (which would obviously NOT have to be two weeks, unless of course we liked our bosses--and in that case, f it, we'd just give them a payout and take them with us!) Also, this activity was just good for morale. The group of us got closer and although nobody WANTS to go to work, it made it a little easier. I'm looking forward to starting STM up again---this time with winning results!
-KC Jones
Several co-workers and I came up with this and participated for a short time because we were (and still are) all set with being part of the working class. We get paid monthly (yes, we are rich for one weekend and then destitute for the next three--or FOUR!), and decided that on the Friday we got paid, we'd throw $20 a piece in and one of us would go and buy scratch tickets. The person purchasing the tickets could do whatever they wanted: ten $10 dollar tickets, five $20 tickets, twenty $5 tickets, etc etc....you get the point. The Monday morning following pay day, we'd scratch away and although we'd be aggravated that we woke up early to come to work, that aggravation would be quickly forgotten when we won our millions and never had to work again. I mean, there were 5 of us involved, each putting in $20, how could we at LEAST not 'win' our $100 back? We knew we might not win big right away, but we were positive that we'd retain our original contributions and then reinvest until we became zillionaires! Guess what? Three months later, we were all still working, each of us $60 lighter in the wallet. We decided to take a short hiatus from this plan. but now with the nice weather coming up and our motivation at work going down, we're reconsidering. I have a feeling that we'll be reinstating STM come our June payday.
Although losing was depressing, the hope and excitement during the build up to the monthly scratching was fun. We'd imagine all the fun trips we'd take, the huge palaces we'd buy, and the creative and awesome ways in which we'd give our notices (which would obviously NOT have to be two weeks, unless of course we liked our bosses--and in that case, f it, we'd just give them a payout and take them with us!) Also, this activity was just good for morale. The group of us got closer and although nobody WANTS to go to work, it made it a little easier. I'm looking forward to starting STM up again---this time with winning results!
-KC Jones
Michael Jackson Photos to Power the World
Los Angeles (CNN) -- A Los Angeles inventor who photographed Michael Jackson 33 years ago hopes those images will now help launch an electric motor he claims could solve the world's energy problems.
Reginald Garcia will use cash from the sale of 130 unpublished Jackson photos to fund testing of the motor, which he claims generates more electricity than it uses. Garcia is in the process of getting the photos appraised and prepared for sale.
The photos show a 19-year-old Jackson and his brothers during a video shoot at a Hollywood studio in March 1978, before he began changing his appearance with surgery.
The Afro hair style and 1970s clothing show "a rare glance" of Jackson in an "awkward teenage stage," an image that he personally tried to bury in later years, according to a collector who sold photographs to the singer.
Thrilla man. Thrilla.
-Big Ran
(Sunday) Night Terrors
For as long as I can remember, Sunday nights have always been a tremendous letdown. Signifying the end of 48 hours worth of freedom and an imminent return to the cubes, they are just the worst. I've noticed that with each passing week, they become even more upsetting....it used to be that my mood would change around 7pm, as the reality of another workweek would begin sinking in, but lately, it's been so much worse than that. This morning, for example, I woke up and realized it was Sunday, and I've allowed it to control and ruin my whole day! I don't know what it is or what is wrong with me, but I need to figure out a way to make Sundays more enjoyable . Here are some things I've tried (with limited, temporary, or no success):
1. Buying scratch tickets: Winning big means no more work, a dream come true! If I could get out of the working class, Sunday nights would no longer be dreadful-they would be happy, and so wouldn't ever other day and night for the rest of my life! However, with each losing ticket, my mood becomes worse and my level of despair rises. Unfortunately, when it comes to gambling in ANY capacity, I am a ridiculously sore loser. Just ask my friends who have been to a casino with me. Do you even KNOW how generous I would be if I hit it big? Let's just say, many other people, (including Big Ran, Mrs. Big Ran, and Big Ran's parents), would no longer have to work either....
2. Going shopping: There was a point in time where this actually helped, albeit temporarily. "How?", you ask? Well, I would go shopping and pick something new out to wear to work....maybe a shirt, or a new pair of shoes, or maybe even something as small as a new eyeshadow---anything to make getting out of bed on Monday morning a little easier and more exciting (*Note-new pants were very rarely involved in this ploy as the disappointment and frustration of trying to find a pair that fit correctly would usually result in me wanting to put my sweats back on and STAY in bed forever*) . Anyway, this self bribery (is that even a real phrase?) stopped being effective when I bought a house and began living just slightly above the 'paycheck to paycheck' level. Now I have to choose between electricity or a new shirt.....and somehow, someway, the bills always win! This method also failed over time because I realized that spending money wasn't going to get me to my ultimate destination; The Land of Independent Wealth, where work is for suckers!
3. Napping: You know how when a little kid gets really fussy and agitated, you'll hear the parent say; "Looks like somebody needs a nap?", as though that is the solution for a bad mood? Well, I bought into that. At one point, I started putting myself down for naps on Sunday afternoons. I absolutely adore my sleep, and while I feel unbelievably refreshed and relaxed after a good nap, I realized this 'solution' was backfiring in two critical ways. First, I found that I was wasting hours of my free time as my 'naps' could sometimes resemble a full night sleep for some people. Secondly, and most importantly, the sleeping during the day screwed up my sleeping at night. I would be laying in bed, wide awake until 2 a.m., so, come Monday morning I was extra beastly and out of sorts. I would then drag myself to work and by 10 a.m. I think many people would have agreed that "somebody needed a nap"...and that somebody was ME!
So, there you have it....my failed attempts at making Sundays less depressing. If you have any better ideas, please let me know, but for now, I'll just continue suffering through my Sunday Night Terrors.....
-KC Jones
*Big Ran Note: All this is right on the money. I ALWAYS assume I am going to win and win big with any scratch ticket or lottery ticket. KC and I bought Power Ball tickets once and I was honestly surprised when one of us didn't win. Optimistic? Maybe. Amazingly naive? I don't think so, I know that realistically the odds are stacked against me. I'm not sure what it is.
I have started getting really depressed on Sunday nights. I start saying things like, "OK, it's only 7 pm, I still have like four hours before I go to sleep." By the time it's 10 pm, I'm probably not a lot of fun to be around. Ultimately, I don't want to go to bed because I know what's awaiting me in the morning. That's probably not a good sign.
1. Buying scratch tickets: Winning big means no more work, a dream come true! If I could get out of the working class, Sunday nights would no longer be dreadful-they would be happy, and so wouldn't ever other day and night for the rest of my life! However, with each losing ticket, my mood becomes worse and my level of despair rises. Unfortunately, when it comes to gambling in ANY capacity, I am a ridiculously sore loser. Just ask my friends who have been to a casino with me. Do you even KNOW how generous I would be if I hit it big? Let's just say, many other people, (including Big Ran, Mrs. Big Ran, and Big Ran's parents), would no longer have to work either....
2. Going shopping: There was a point in time where this actually helped, albeit temporarily. "How?", you ask? Well, I would go shopping and pick something new out to wear to work....maybe a shirt, or a new pair of shoes, or maybe even something as small as a new eyeshadow---anything to make getting out of bed on Monday morning a little easier and more exciting (*Note-new pants were very rarely involved in this ploy as the disappointment and frustration of trying to find a pair that fit correctly would usually result in me wanting to put my sweats back on and STAY in bed forever*) . Anyway, this self bribery (is that even a real phrase?) stopped being effective when I bought a house and began living just slightly above the 'paycheck to paycheck' level. Now I have to choose between electricity or a new shirt.....and somehow, someway, the bills always win! This method also failed over time because I realized that spending money wasn't going to get me to my ultimate destination; The Land of Independent Wealth, where work is for suckers!
3. Napping: You know how when a little kid gets really fussy and agitated, you'll hear the parent say; "Looks like somebody needs a nap?", as though that is the solution for a bad mood? Well, I bought into that. At one point, I started putting myself down for naps on Sunday afternoons. I absolutely adore my sleep, and while I feel unbelievably refreshed and relaxed after a good nap, I realized this 'solution' was backfiring in two critical ways. First, I found that I was wasting hours of my free time as my 'naps' could sometimes resemble a full night sleep for some people. Secondly, and most importantly, the sleeping during the day screwed up my sleeping at night. I would be laying in bed, wide awake until 2 a.m., so, come Monday morning I was extra beastly and out of sorts. I would then drag myself to work and by 10 a.m. I think many people would have agreed that "somebody needed a nap"...and that somebody was ME!
So, there you have it....my failed attempts at making Sundays less depressing. If you have any better ideas, please let me know, but for now, I'll just continue suffering through my Sunday Night Terrors.....
-KC Jones
*Big Ran Note: All this is right on the money. I ALWAYS assume I am going to win and win big with any scratch ticket or lottery ticket. KC and I bought Power Ball tickets once and I was honestly surprised when one of us didn't win. Optimistic? Maybe. Amazingly naive? I don't think so, I know that realistically the odds are stacked against me. I'm not sure what it is.
I have started getting really depressed on Sunday nights. I start saying things like, "OK, it's only 7 pm, I still have like four hours before I go to sleep." By the time it's 10 pm, I'm probably not a lot of fun to be around. Ultimately, I don't want to go to bed because I know what's awaiting me in the morning. That's probably not a good sign.
Calgon Take Me Away...
-KC Jones
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