Black Eyed Peas Opening a Music Academy. I'm Serious.

Before I start, I recognize those two people in the middle.  Did they just get photo-bombed by those dudes on the book ends?

But, for real, the Black Keys Black Eyed Peas are opening a music academy.  Am I the only one that saw their halftime show at the Super Bowl where Fergi yelled at me for ten minutes?

This is like me opening a school for being totally satisfied emotionally by work.

-Big Ran

PS:  Fergie looks good.

Let's Go Spurs!

-Big Ran

Super Terrific Happy Hour!

Stephon Marbury has brought all hoops fans amazing levels of unintentional comedy, especially during his "Truck Party" time with the Knicks.  Anytime you can pair him and Isiah Thomas up on the same team, you have to do it.  The strange thing is, this article in GQ about his time in China definitely paints him in a different light.  Steph actually has some things going with Starbury in China.  It's an interesting read, if you have the time.

However, if you don't have as much time, or don't read so good, here is the way I prefer to think of Stephon Marbury:



"Oh man, I think I'm average 10 points, like 12, 13 dimes, like two, three assists, and about four, five rebounds..."

-Big Ran

For All My German Homies!

I see that we have one reader in Germany!  This is for you, bro!

-Big Ran

Do You Like to Climb Trees?

MJ does! Seriously, how can anyone deny the fact that something was terribly wrong with this 'man' (and I use that term loosely). This is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous segments of an interview I've ever seen. I love around 1:40 where he announces that he "never shows anyone his 'giving tree'" as he climbs the branches like a patient who has escaped a mental hospital. Honestly, in his prime, back in the Jackson 5 and "Thriller" days, he was totally a big deal because of his artistry. After that, the attention shifted to his ever changing Picasso portrait excuse for a face and his inappropriate dealings with children. But this right here? I love it!

Water balloon fight anyone?


-KC Jones

Marathon Update (Unintentional Irrational Rant)

I don't want this to turn into an irrational rant, but I am well past my wit's end with the marathon talk in the office.  We have an intern that ran it as well and she wasn't in the office yesterday, so today is her day to shine.  By shine, I mean wear not only a warm up jacket, but a running shirt, and warm up pants, all with "Boston Marathon" or "BAA" emblazoned on them.  This is all I heard about at lunch.  Running through Wellesley, cramping calves, crying when she finished.  Man, oh, man, enough already.  I can't take it anymore and I have just started making really passive aggressive comments about it, like asking her if she ran the marathon because I hadn't heard about it.  That I flipped over for 3 minutes on TV to watch a Kenyan win, then went right back to the Sox game.  If you haven't figured this out yet, I'm a total dick.

Another thing I have absolutely no interest in hearing about is if you went to watch the marathon or ran part of it with a friend.  So, you stood nut-to-butt with people in a crowd and WATCHED people jog by?  Holy shit, you should get the key to the city.  Yeah, you really played a major role in pushing people to their athletic potential by wasting your day watching people exercise.  To be honest, I think I may be more help if I bring a lawn chair to the gym, park it next to the treadmills, and just cheer for people there.  Who needs more inspiration: the people running a race they have been training the last few months or years for, or the people trying to crank out a few miles after working all day and then commuting home.  I'll go with the latter.

Today I also had the stories about people who ran with their friends for a couple of miles to keep them going. Piss off.  You are absolutely trying to take credit for them finishing the race.  Yeah, you are totally the John Stockton of the marathon, just dishing out assists to everyone who couldn't have done it without you.

So, enough.  Enough with it all.  You are all really good at exercising.  Except you lazy fucks who watched it in person.  You're lazy and couldn't think of anything better to do on a day off.

Look at that, this is today's irrational rant.

-Big Ran

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

I'm not sure I need to say anything about this comparison. However, I am feeling the "If They Mated" portion of my last "LTLA" entry, so, I'd like to start including that more often.  If you're interested, scroll to the bottom to see who their bundle of joy might be....

Ellen Degeneres

Lance Bass

Justin Bieber Bass-Degeneres

Yup, that's right....It's a Boy!!! A little baby Bieber might be the product of their love. Listen, I've got nothing but love for all of them. All three have been or currently are wildly popular, have healthy, shiny hair, killer fashion sense, and wealth. And have you seen each of them dance? How can I hate on that?

-KC Jones

Not Pretty, but I'll Take It

 

 If you had told me before game one of this series that the Knicks would lose Big Shot (and Big Teeth) Billups during crunch time of game one and Amare for a lot of game two, I would have bet the house on the C's not only winning, but winning big.  However, the C's bench has been turrible and they have not been playing any defense.  I have to give the Knicks credit for hanging tough and doing all they can, but I don't think they can hang around, even in MSG, without Billups and Amare.  If they are both out again, bank on Rondo racking up some serious stats.  With that said, I have no idea what to expect in this series going forward.  This could come back to Boston after the C's sweep, up 3-1, or with the series tied.

It was nice to see KG come up huge on the last couple of possessions with a big hoop and a great steal after giving up a go-ahead bucket to Jared Jeffries.  ESPN did a little research and found that during this current Big Three era, the Celtics have had nine situations where they needed a go-ahead hoop with less than ten seconds to go and they have never gone to Garnett.  So, as a long-time Celtics and KG fan, I was pumped to see him deliver offensively when it mattered most.  While he was in Minnesota, there was always talk about him not being a clutch player, so it was nice for him to have a little redemption, even though he didn't really need it.

The Kicks need Amare to have a shot.  I don't think you can give the Celtics two days to prepare and only have Melo doing his best Jimmy Chitwood impression.  I've had back spasms before and they're terrible.  I'm also a huge pussy, who sits in an office all day, not a world class ath-a-leet.  The Knicks need to get Amare some serious muscle relaxers and have Spike Lee give him a deep tissue massage or else we know what may happen:

 *KC Jones note: I'm reconsidering my collaboration with Big Ran on this blog after his very hurtful "Mr. Big Teeth" comment. He knows I loves me some Chauncey.....

Humpday Holla-back

For this Wednesday's "Humpday Holla-back", I'd like to showcase one of my favorite rappers, Fabolous. I think he's one of the most underrated rappers in the game. Seriously, I don't think there's anything he's done that I DON'T like....

Couple of things that make this video, like it's creator, FABOLOUS:

1. He's keepin' it real, he leaves a chauffeured vehicle and slides down a stairway railing to catch public transportation as a way to meet the ladies. What?! Who does that? Fabolous, that's who.
2. Around the 51 second mark- NICE phone!
3. At the1:03 mark, a cameo from Pharrell Williams of the Neptunes/N.E.R.D- instantly classes the video up.
4. At the1:37 mark, he sitting with his boombox.. Where did this come from? He didn't have it with him when he hopped on at the beginning.
5. Magical outfit changes while on the Subway. 
6. At the 2:54 mark: The nerdy white businessman is busting a move. Watch him throughout the entire video, this grand finale was just brewing the whole time.
7. Dance Party U.S.A. on the Subway. The public transportation industry has never been cast in such a positive light.

There are so many other things we well, but these are my favorite. I've included the lyrics below in case you'd like to sing along:

Brooklyn, uh uh uh uh
Huh Huh uh huh do it huh Yea
Uh Uh do it huh huh what ya'll want huh

Rollin, gold two seater
Stash in the dash
Hole through heaters
Blockahhhhh put holes through beaters
Ghetto Fab stroll through Cheetahs
Ballin, Brooklyn dawn
Addicted to Crys hooked on Don
15 G's hookers on
Ma, I wanna see how you look in thongs
Hustlin, guys that send Po's
Cause I chop rocks the size of mentos
Blame me, trials aquit those
Look at the hurt your eyes will squit close
Pimpin' here's a new way to flirt
Listen to the two way alert
It goes (2 way beeps in song's beat)
Lets go VIP boo raise your skirt

[Chorus]
Holla back Young'n (Hoooo Hoooo!)
Holla back (Hoooo Hoooo!)
Holla back Young'n (Hoooo Hoooo!)
Holla back (Hoooo Hoooo!)
Holla back Young'n (Hoooo Hoooo!)
Holla back (Hoooo Hoooo!)
Holla back Young'n (Hoooo Hoooo!)
Holla back (Hoooo Hoooo!)

I'm Gangsta
Ya'll just wannabe's
Federal Agents on their P's
30 grand 28 on the keys
Gotta good lawyer I'm gonna squeeze
Thuggin' jeans and Tim's
Fitted to the front lean the brim
Ride but never on teenage rims
And I keep a chick's face between limbs
Stylin ya'll heard about my kick game
I'm on the parkway see me at the Knick game
Probably seen this tatted on your chick frame
F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S
Ridin Ya'll know as well I do
That's the way you can tell I flew
So I got a deal I sell pot too
Cause before I hit the pens I'm gettin bailed by Clue

[Chorus]

Cruisin top on the Mercedes low
Turn us up when you hear this on the radio
Blastin with the nineteen eighty flow
Make the necks on the ladies go (wooo wooop)
Holla that's what a pretty thug will do
Hit Branson get a fifty jug or two
Ya'll throwin on them gritty mugs for who
Like ya'll don't know what fifty slugs will do
Hatin I just bought the bulls
I put ya'll in the front page articles
I got em lookin at the billboard charts confused
And I still freestyle to start the Clue's
Reppin I'm that kid about the doe
I done copped coke and started droughts before
Shit Platinum out the door
Now I drop the top down just to shout to hoes

[Chorus]
-KC Jones