On What Planet Should Isiah Thomas be Hired Again?

While there are no questions that Isiah Thomas was one of the best point guards of all time, since his playing days ended, he has been a one man wrecking crew.  Let's take a look at some of the highlights, shall we?

-Zeke's first foray into basketball management came in 1994 with the Toronto Raptors.  He ended up leaving in 1998 after a dispute with management (i.e. the team sucked and couldn't keep any good players).

-He then joined NBC Broadcasting.  I honestly do not remember this at all.  I'm guessing he was terrible, especially if he was paired with Bob Costas.  Bob Costas might be the devil.

-Thomas then purchased the CBA for $10 million in 1998 and was the owner until 2000.  The CBA had to declare bankruptcy after what many team owners termed as Thomas' "mismanagement and  out-of-control spending."

-After the CBA's bankruptcy came his stint as the coach of the Indiana Pacers.  This lasted three years until Larry Bird returned to the team and booted him.  I'm sure it didn't hurt that Thomas was quoted as saying "If Larry Bird was black, he would only be another good player (or something to that effect)."  At least he wasn't responsible for the "Malice in the Palace."

-How do you sum up Thomas' time with the Knicks?  The terrible record, the terrible contracts, the crushing of a franchise, and an $11 million payout for sexual harassment seem to only scratch the surface of his destruction.

-Shortly after getting booted from NY, he overdosed on Lunesta and inexplicably tried to cover it up saying it was his daughter.  In the words of Charlie Murphy, "WRONG.  WRONG. (I may be the only one that gets this reference)" 

-Thomas then took the head coaching job at Florida International University (because no one else wanted him) and led the team to a 7-25 record in his first year.  He then announced he was taking a job as a consultant for the Knicks while remaining the FIU coach.  Nope, that's against most NBA and NCAA rules.  The Golden Showers Panthers were 11- 9 this year.

So, this brings up to the present where, for some un-Godly reason, both the Knicks and the Pistons have interest in hiring him.  The Knicks, seemingly in some management position, and the Pistons as their head coach.  As a Celtics fan, I welcome Isiah back to the NBA, especially to an Eastern Conference team.  I would especially welcome him back to the Knicks, where Donnie Walsh has finally gotten rid of most of their terrible contracts and has two great players to build on.  I would LOVE Isiah to come in and somehow muck that up again.

-Big Ran

PS:  I think KC Jones would drive to Detroit and kidnap Thomas if it meant not disrupting her beloved De-troit Pissed-ons.

Google Maps to be Renamed Google Dongs

News.com - Crop circles might be known for their beauty and paranormal allure, but the giant phalluses etched into the field of a New Zealand high school hold no such mystique.

Fairfield College, in the North Island town of Hamilton, has been snapped by satellite cameras with six huge penises burnt into the grass.

The x-rated images, immortalised on the website Google Earth, were spotted by Kiwi David McQuoid while scanning the neighbourhood online looking for a property.

"At first I thought it was a large piece of artwork," he said of the shot, which shows cartoon-like phalluses of various sizes, some several metres across.

Publicity around the so-called Fairfield Phalluses has embarrassed the school's acting principal Gerhard van Dyk, who told the Waikato Times it was hard enough to deal with when the prank was pulled back in 2009.

It happened over a weekend but it wasn't until the grass died off bit by bit that phallic symbols started to pop up around the school grounds.

Every week another crude image revealed itself, much to the dismay of staff.

"There's not really much we could do about it," he told the newspaper.

"The caretaker took some more weedkiller and tried to camouflage it a bit."

Mr van Dyk never caught the culprits and the prank would no doubt have passed into schoolboy folklore had it not been captured by Google Maps.

The red-faced principal said he would be contacting Google to plead for the image's removal but an internet privacy specialist said it was difficult to get such satellite photographs changed or blurred.

Kiwis however, thought the prank was hilarious, with 70 adding mostly encouraging comments to the online story, like "Freakin brilliant!!! Love it!!! Classic piece of adolescent artwork."

One gave the artists an A+, top marks for cunning, planning, chemistry and geometry, while another said their anatomy detailing left a lot to be desired.

"I totally reckon it was actually girls," they wrote.

Then came a confession: "HAHAHA!!! we did this as our 7th form prank, now it lives on! how awesome!"

Looks like I have some work to do on the lawn this weekend.  I love how the guy that found it said he was looking for property in the area.  OK, Kiwi Perv, you were hoping to get a look in the girls locker room or something and you just happened upon some major league lawn dong action.

There could be some good fantasy league names from this one:  Major League Lawn Dongs, Lawn Dong Silver, The Kiwi Lawn Dongs.

-Big Ran

PS:  Try saying Lawn Dongs a few times in a row, its friggin' impossible.

Tuesday Trivia...

I know it's a bit late, but bear with me. Today's burning question is: What the F*ck is a Canuck? Like my rhyming? I knew you would. Well, here's there answer:

ca·nuck/kəˈnək/
Noun: A Canadian, esp. a French Canadian (chiefly used by Canadians themselves and often derogatory in the US).

So, it's fine for Canadians to use it but it's considered derogatory when others use it? Also, this was the best they could do for a team name? Seriously? Maybe that's why Rome was so young and so angry and violently took down Horton. He was just angry that he's playing for a team with a pansy ass name.

I don't know about you, but I have an issue with a team name that can rhyme with Schmucks or F*cks,

In conclusion, we're not afraid of you Vancouver, not in the least and when we say "Canucks", we are using it in a derogatory fashion. See you tonight you dirty, cannibalistic ass clowns!

-KC Jones

Beware of Dog....

In my humble opinion, there's no one out there right now who can top Pitbull, aka Mr. 305. This clip proves it even more. A guy in the audience keeps throwing money at him and being obnoxious. Yet Pit remains calm as he brings him up on stage, throws a punch and continues rapping. Love this guy, and I'm not sure if any other rapper can rock the three piece suit the way this man does! Also, he makes any song he's on a hit. My favorite Pitbull lyric right now is, "My name ain't Keith, but I seen the way you Sweat me"--- YESSSSSSSS.....




-KC Jones

LeBron Did Not Bring His Talents to Dallas

Miami Heat
STARTERS	MIN	FGM-A	3PM-A	FTM-A	OREB	DREB	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TO	PF	+/-	PTS
LeBron James, SF	46	3-11	0-3	2-4	3	6	9	7	2	0	4	4	-6	8

Big time players come up big in the most crucial moments like the NBA Finals.  Oh, wait, you mean LeEgo threw another stinker in a big game like after he gave up in the Celtics series last year, and game three of this series?

Do you think Wade will punish him by not letting him borrow a bow tie or sweater vest until he has a big game?

Can the comparisons to Michael Jordan please end?

-Big Ran