Friday, February 3, 2012

Dude, Way to Scare the F*ck Out of Me


So, I just had the crap scared out of me.  I see a name pop up on my work phone caller ID.  I don't recognize the name, but it's in house, so I answer it.  I then hear, in a very serious tone, "Hi, it's Sol from IT..." followed by a deathly pause.  Running through my head is, "OHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT.  I'm done."  I figured with all the bizarre stuff I search for with the blog or for stupid e-mails, I'm finally done.  Or, I started some computer virus that is killing our servers and everyone's computers, just because I am watching pirated television on my computer.

Then the dude proceeds to tell me that he needs to install encryption software on my computer.  I said, "Like, right now?" Because I was actually in the middle of working, had just run a bunch of queries and was separating everything into spreadsheets.  I had a bunch of documents open and I had absolutely no warning.  So I start saving documents, when he apparently gets impatient and I see the box pop up for permission for IT to remotely control my computer.  I am trying to save, and close, while all his stupid pop up boxes are in the middle of the screen and we are fighting over control of the stupid arrow.

Also, yesterday, I happened to be working on my resume and a cover letter for another job.  Awesome.  Of course that thing is still up and I am having trouble closing it and getting the f*ck out of Microsoft Windows Dodge.  F*cking Clusterf*ck.

Finally he says, "This will require two reboots, so I'll stay with you on the phone until that is all set.  When everything gets going after the second reboot, your computer will probably run a little slowly since this software will be in the background.."  I ask if it will only be slow the first time after the reboot, and he says, "You'll see."  WTF does that mean?  Oh, I'll see?  I'll see if the spy software you put on my computer will slow me down while I try to be the Picasso of YouTube?  Bro, you're f*cking IT.  Information Technology.  Give me some God Damned information about your technology.

Also, don't scare the sh!t out of people and maybe give them a little heads up about letting them save their documents and getting job searches off their screen.



-Big Ran

Lookin' Good, Hill!




These pics were from The Daily Mail Online and they suggested that Hill looked like a Bond villain.  I can see that.  I feel like she looks like Goldfinger (or Goldmember) if they were played by Anthony Hopkins.  Do you think this even phases Bill Clinton at this point, or is he too preoccupied with chubby interns?

-Big Ran

Stuck In My Head Trifecta



Dudes, I heard this jam for the first time last night after working until 9 PM.  I friggin' love 13 hour days with a 45 minute commute on each end.  KC know's what I'm talking about.  It's kind of a jam, maybe not as much in the light of day as it was when I was delirious last night, but still a jam.

On a separate, but somewhat related note, I completely picture Andre 3000 being as insane as he seems in public.  I can completely picture this dude wearing tuxes around the house or to bed, but wearing a bathrobe to a formal event.



So I guess BET is banning this video from their network.  One question:  Why?  Is it because she calls everyone a "stupid hoe?"  Is it because they say and print Super Bowl 2012 in it?  Is it because at the 2:40 mark they have that weird eye thing going on that will haunt your dreams?  Is it because the song blows?  Not sure.  PS, Nicki Minaj looks like KC's sister.



This is my jam right now and the full video will be out soon. The full song is below if you want it.

 Black Muthaf*ckin' Keys everybody!



-Big Ran