April Fools?

I know this is a true story, that Mariah Carey is asking for prayers for her husband, Nick Cannon, as he recovers from kidney failure, but dear God, how can anyone take this picture seriously??

1. Why is she in the bed with him? That's just awkward. He doesn't look too happy about it either.
2. Is he pregnant with twins? Oh wait, that's just the pillow on top of him so he can make room for Mariah.
3. Why is he wearing a winter hat? Is there any real need/reason for it?
4. Is he took weak to drink on his own? Why is she holding the cup for him?

There are so many thoughts going thru my mind right now. Maybe he faked the illness just to get a mini vacation at the hospital....I can only imagine how exhausting it is to raise twins....and Mariah on top of it all!.

And, my favorite quote of all, from MC herelf, : "We're trying to be as festive as possible under the circumstances but please keep Nick in your thoughts because this is very painful. ... I'm not trying to make light out of the situation because it's a serious moment that's very tough on all of us so please keep us and our family in your prayers."

Festive? Who is trying to be festive when they are in the hospital? Should I be suprised though? I mean, this is the woman who starred in the smash hit "Glitter".....oh, you've never heard of it? Well, good for you, because that's a couple of hours of my life I can't get back now.



-KC Jones

Big Ran Obligatory Chappelle Video Reference:



If you ever want to piss your wife, girlfriend, or really any female off, try to mix in how attractive Mariah Carey is. Guaranteed to drive them insane.

I'm Converting ASAP!

Imagine Bark Mitzvah parties?!  Those would be so awesome.  You would never get sick of going to one of those!  Get me some Kosher dog food and a Rabbi on the double!

-Big Ran

PS:  Would you count neutering as a Briss?

Casey Anthony Up to Her Old Tricks

By old tricks, I mean murder.  This time she may be literally boring people to death with her "video diary."

What the f*ck is up with her adopting a dog?  How did that even happen?  By adopt does she mean steal?  Don't you have to apply to adopt a dog?  I mean, my wife and I tried to adopt a dog and they shot us down because we didn't have a fence around our entire house.  It wasn't because we "allegedly" murdered or covered up the death of a child.

Dude, this chick is so tapped I can't even take it.  To all those people who say that she's "so hot," she's a 6 AT BEST and that's if she didn't murder anyone and wasn't clearly insane.

I guess we can just hope she adopted the modern day equivalent of Cujo.



-Big Ran