Thursday, June 9, 2011

Worst Plan Ever? Worst Plan Ever.

 Man seeking sex change tries to fake own death

Investigators say the pair lost custody of their children after their underage daughter caught the ex-husband having sex with a blow up doll.




STILLWATER, Okla. -- A divorced couple in Stillwater is behind bars accused of a strange crime. The pair allegedly tried to fake the man's death to escape arrest warrants and so he could start a new life as a woman.

The couple is now charged with false reporting of a crime.

Investigators say the pair lost custody of their children after their underage daughter caught the ex-husband having sex with a blow up doll.

Late last month, the ex-wife Heather Davis told police she dropped off William Davis at his favorite fishing spot in Lake Carl Blackwell.

Just hours later, Heather claimed William went missing.

When the alleged lakeside disappearance story quickly unraveled, police say Heather came clean.

According to court records, she admitted, "William told her he would give up his parental rights to their children and get a sex change if she assisted him in the faked death."

"He had some outstanding warrants and there was visitation issues. So the plan was to report him missing so he could get a sex change operation. Then he could return to the family with a different identity," Stillwater police Captain Randy Dickerson said.

The couple's neighbors had plenty to say about the ill-conceived custody plot.

"Why give up your kids and mess that up to help him out? I'd have told him to jump in a lake somewhere," RC Cox said.

"That's crazy and to do this for a sex change? That's a bit ridiculous," Rhonda Williams said.

Once in jail, Heather allegedly claimed, "She went along with the plan because she wanted William out of her life."

A day after Heather's arrest, William turned himself in to police.

At first he claimed he had been robbed at the lake and that's why he disappeared.

Later he admitted that wasn't true.



OK, there's a lot going on here, but for the record, I will say that I don't think Will and Heather thought this through all the way.  So, first the couple lost custody of the kids because the dad/ex-husband was caught banging Blow Up Betty.  As a result, this was the plan they came up with?


I hate to bring some logic to this, but here it goes...


After some crude internet searching, it looks like a sex change operation will cost around $25,000 in the US, maybe $10,000 in Canada, and $8,000 in Thailand.  Not to mention the years of counseling and hormone therapy needed for years leading up to the change.  In all, I saw quotes around $50,000 minimum.  I don't think a divorced couple living in a trailer in Oklahoma had $50,000 in cash lying around.  This is an assumption, but watch the video and tell me you disagree.  Also, they fake his death, then how does he either get the operation in a hospital, or leave the country when you clearly need valid ID for either of those options. Overall, just way to many holes in their plan.  Don't get me wrong, I like the commitment and where their heads are at, but if you are going to go for, go all the way.  How about just a touch of research?  This is kind of like our buddy Daniel Vagnini and his fake mugging.  There's some potential with each of them, but the execution was off.


-Big Ran


PS:  They could probably make this a sweet Law & Order SVU.

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

In honor of Mike Millbury absolutely CRUSHING the Canucks and specifically the Sedin twins during the broadcast last night, I thought we would us his idea for the "Lunchtime Look-a-Like."





These dudes are straight up creepy.  You know they pull the old switcharoo on their hockey bimbos all the time.  They probably still dress alike and share underwear, really creepy stuff.  Now, while I get the insult, and I have never actually seen the movie "Thelma & Louise," weren't they supposed to be badass?  Like, didn't they rob banks and bang young dudes, and drive off a cliff rather than go to jail?

The Sedin twins are the exact opposite of that.  They haven't brought anything to the table and hopefully it stays that way, especially with this guy manning the net:





-Big Ran

PS:  B's, Let's keep going!

Ironic DUI of the Day

Rapper Flo Rida arrested in Miami Beach on DUI charge




Sun SentinalThe South Florida rap artist and entertainer who goes by the name of Flo Rida was arrested early Thursday in Miami Beach on a drunk driving charge, according to Miami-Dade jail records.

The 31-year-old singer whose real name is Tramar Dillard, of Miami Gardens, was arrested onSouth Beach about 4 a.m. on charges of DUI and driving with a suspended license. Bond for each charge was tentatively set at $1,000 according to the records.


The entertainer was driving onSouth Beach in a 2008 Bugatti, worth more than $1M, when he was stopped by Miami Beach police about 3:30 a.m., the entertainment site TMZ reported.


Quoting from a police report, TMZ also reported that bystanders attempted to get the officers to let Dillard go and some offered to give the entertainer a ride home.


Dillard's blood alcohol limit was found to be .185, more than twice Florida's legal limit, the report said.


DUI Day at The Takeover, huh?  The ironic part is Flo RIda getting arrested in Florida, just in case nobody got that.  


I bet Flo Rida wishes his BAC had been low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.  Hah.  Too easy.



More like Flo Rida couldn't handle the club, or more accurately, the alcohol.



On a somewhat unrelated note, a couple of years ago, I met my wife and some of her coworkers out at a bar.  I introduced myself to one guy and he was a total dick.  Just like he couldn't be bothered to spend time talking to me.  Whatever bro, screw.  Anyway, they had karoke at this bar, and this dude goes up and just absolutely crushes Flo Rida's "Low."  I mean he just nails it.  I didn't want to admit it, but this a-hole was money on that song.  That's all I really have for this story because the guy was a major douche and I wan't going to tell him how awesome that was, but who knows, maybe he just had his game face on and was focused on nailing "Low."

-Big Ran

Ho-Hum, Another Childhood Hero Gets Busted


Mark Grace was absolutely one of my top five favorite players of all time.  Probably number three.  Cal Ripken, Jim Rice, Mark Grace, Will Clark, and Ken Griffey, Jr / Nolan Ryan.  Maybe I have a top six. I really think I was Mark Grace TWICE for Halloween.  The dude lead all of MLB in hits in the 90s.  So, I'm sure that if this had happened when I was like 11, I would have been crushed, but now, not so much.  I mean, check out the details:

Cops saw him make a wide right turn, then weave in his lane.  When they pulled him over, Grace admitted to "having a few drinks."  He also didn't have a wallet or his license.

So, the cops gave him a field sobriety test and they asked him out he thought he did..."Not well enough." was his response, so they booked him on suspicion of DUI.

OK, so again, I don't condone drunk driving, obviously, but it has gotten to the point where I kind of say to myself, "well, he wasn't a jerk about it, so I'll give him a pass."  He's not even mad in his mugshot; it looks like his ID photo for an IT firm he works for.

So long as I never find out Cal Ripken took steroids or ruphied college chicks, I think I should be OK.

-Big Ran