Enough is Enough

Um, in regards to the clip below, all I really have to say is "wow". I know we usually keep it light and funny here at "The Takeover", but this dude is the captain of all douches (he was second in command until Teddy's passing) and needs to be called out.  Honestly, why is this zero even allowed to SPEAK? I guess the bigger question is why should I be surprised in regards to this? After all, here's a dude whose father, Ted Kennedy, drove drunk, killed a woman, and literally got away with murder and was still celebrated throughout his entire life as the people's champ. So obviously, it's only natural that his son would be sympathetic to a cold blooded, calculating killer.



Are there muzzles available for people? If so, I think this guy should be able to use the undue privileges associated with the Kennedy family name to cut ahead to the front of the line for his. Yup, you heard it right people, his comments towards the gunman who shot and killed and seriously wounded so many in Arizona were "It's an irony, but we think no stigma towards Gabby and her brain injury, but [Loughner] has a brain injury as well, because clearly his brain was not working properly when he picked up that gun and shot all those people." He then proceeds to turn this bottom feeder's behavior into OUR fault with the comment "We failed as a society, because every time we see someone who's -- and we use the pejorative words -- 'crazy,' 'psycho,' 'nuts,' we look the other way".  WHAT?! Damn right there's no stigma attached to a woman who almost had her brains blown out and there is a 'stigma' attached to an evil person. Typical of some in society trying to make excuses for those with no respect for life.

This dude is CLEARLY still hitting the sauce and the Ambien BIG time if he's running around saying this sort of garbage. I'm sorry, but I've reached a zero tolerance policy for ass clowns and that's just what he is.

-KC Jones

Rapture Take Three...

Ok, so it's Monday, May 23rd and "The Rapture" was scheduled for Saturday, May 21st. We're all still here, so I guess there were some miscalculations. Hey, it happens, right? Sometimes predicting the end of the world is more difficult than it seems.  Personally, I'm just bummed that our playlists are null and void now. But I'm thinking of Harold (can I call him Hal?) Camping and how embarrassing this must be. Actually, for him, I'm sure it's not embarrassing at all because he's clearly a headcase. So, in his honor, I'd like to toss out another playlist of the songs he might be listening to right now as he reflects on his mistake and gears up for his next attempt:

"Harold Camping's Recalculating The Rapture Mix"

1. "Oops I Did It Again"-Britney Spears: Yup, Hal 'did it again', 'it' being incorrectly predicting the end of the world.

2. "I Missed Again"-Phil Collins: Like the great former Genesis front man sings, "I'm waiting in line, but it seems like I wasted my time...cause I missed again!"

3. "You're Only Human (Second Wind)"-Billy Joel: Hal, don't be so hard on yourself, like Mr. Joel says, "you're only human, you're SUPPOSE to make mistakes!"

4. "Still Standing"-Elton John: Pretty self-explanatory

5. "Stayin' Alive"- Bee Gees: Because it looks like, "whether (we're) a a brother or whether (we're a mother), we'll be stayin' alive"

6. "Try Again"-Aaliyah: He needs to remember that 'if first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again' (and again, and maybe even again after that!)

7. "Made You Look"-Nas: Maybe this was all just a publicity stunt and he achieved the end goal of making all of us look in one way or another.

8. "It Wasn't Me"-Shaggy: At this point, being wrong twice publicly might be a little embarrassing, so I can understand if he tries to deny, deny, deny....

9. "Blame It"-T-Pain: Once he finds out that he can't say it wasn't him (track 9)-I'm sure he's going to blame it on the alcohol)

10. "My Favorite Mistake"-Sheryl Crow

11. "Just My Imagination"-The Temptations: And, in conclusion, that's really all it was, his imagination, running away with him!


I can see it now. Harold at his desk with calendars, a bible (notice, not THE BIBLE because he's CLEARLY not following that) telescopes, sundials, and maps, recalculating. I'm keeping all my playlists and my non-perishables in anticipation of the Real Rapture.

-KC Jones

*Big Ran Addition:

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

Stephen Colbert & Bob Saget

With all of "The Rapture" preparation going on last week, Big Ran and I were unable to focus on a fan favorite, "LTLAL". Fortunately, since we were spared, we're getting back to basics this week at "The Takeover".

I'd like to start off by saying that every single Lunchtime Look-a-like post is something that either Big Ran or I come up with on our own. We only turn to the Internet to get pictures to substantiate our claims and to show you, our adoring public, what we are talking about. That's not to say that other people haven't come up with these comparisons before, but it is to say that we aren't biting other peeps' material. I just want to clarify in case anyone out there were to ever doubt our pure comedic genius.

Secondly, just so you all know, I'm currently trying to get through to "The Maury Show" in order to arrange for some DNA testing. How could these two NOT be related? The hair, the eyes, the glasses, the noses, the angular facial features. And most importantly, the pure dorkiness.  Danny Tanner, you ARE their father!

-KC Jones

Who All Seen the Leprechaun Say Yeeeaaahhh!

Obama connects with Irish roots

 

AP – From left, President Barack Obama, President of Ireland Mary McAleese and her husband Martin McAleese, …

By NANCY BENAC, Associated Press Nancy Benac, Associated Press – 24 mins ago

MONEYGALL, Ireland – President Barack Obama has arrived in the small Irish village where his great-great-great grandfather once lived and worked as a shoemaker. (check out the link above from Yahoo! News to read more!)

I'm sure you might be wondering why I'm posting this, but there is a very good reason. When I heard this on the news, (namely the part about about Obama's great-great-great grandfather being Irish), I realized that Barack and this Mobile, Alabama resident (at the 1:06 mark) are most likely cousins or maybe even 'brothers' (in both senses of the word!)....




Now I'm left with a couple of questions:

1. Is the correct spelling of Obama really O'Bama?
2. Does Barack also have a magical leprechaun flute?

-KC Jones

*Big Ran Note:  Imagine O'Bama is in a meeting with that Irish mayor or whatever and just says:  "Listen, I just want the gold.  I wanna know where da gold at."  Hey, couldn't blame him, the US has to pay China back somehow before they invade us post Rapture.

Irrational Rant...Tinseltown Tommy!

Tinseltown Tommy!!!

For anyone who wants to continue defending Tom Brady, I'd like to present the most recent pic proving that he is, in fact, a little pansy:

Here he is at a water park in Mexico recently. Hmmm---wonder what the little pretty boy was thinking (or, most likely, screeching!) on his way down: "Oh no, my hair is gonna get all disheveled!", "Man, this water is so cold, it would totally result in shrinkage IF Gisele hadn't had my manhood removed years ago!". I cannot STAND this guy, seriously. And, are those moobs I see? Remember when he used to be a ruggedly handsome MAN focused on his team and perfecting his game? What the hell happened to him? Oh, I know exactly what happened---

"I love you more!" "No, I love you more!" VOM!

---Gisele Bundchen. Seriously, he chose that dead eyed drone over Bridget Moynihan? He dates a normal, down to earf' beauty (by Hollywood standards) and then after they breakup he finds out she's carrying his child and he wastes no time globe trotting with this drone. Making matters worse, she has since tried to educate the world on the 'evils' of bottle-feeding babies with formula while informing the general public that child birth and the subsequent recovery from it is actually pretty easy. (Yeah, it's pretty easy when you have the funds and free time to stock your personal arsenal with a private chef, trainer, nanny, and husband who has 1/2 of the year off). COME ON! No one is saying Tinseltown Tommy had to get back with Bridget or marry her, but have some class dude.

Beauty, the Pansy, and the Dead Eyed Drone

Is it just a coincidence that the Patriots post season success came to a screeching halt once his Hollywood lifestyle ramped up? I think not.  I'll say it, I hope that for as long as T.T. continues to act like this the Patriots lose. And it's too bad, because I used to like him, and I still do like the Patriots. 

WNBA Player? Oh, no, it's Tom Brady!

This humidity is wrecking havoc on my mane!

 

I'm thinking T.T. definitely grooms himself each morning while listening to this song on replay:


Sorry Big Ran, I know you probably totally disagree with this post, but I just can't take it anymore.

-KC Jones

*Big Ran Note:  I really can't argue with any of this.  That picture from the water slide is just embarrassing. Even Mrs. Big Ran made a comment about his doughiness and asked simply: "What's wrong with him?"