Super Terrific Hour

Banner day at the gym today.  Not because of my awesome workout (I could barely fit back into my shirt afterwards), but because of some basic unwritten rules being broken at the gym.  First off, this is a gym at work, so I usually see some people I know, but not today.

First, there was a bro in a soccer jersey and Reebok Tennis Pumps there.  I was using a bench, then got up to put the weights down and grab another set.  I turn around to go back to the bench and he has usurped it.  Now, normally, I don't have a problem telling people I was using a particular piece of equipment.  However, this bro had brought over like 3 sets of weights and various weight plates, stacking them, all around the bench.  I needed to see this workout.  He proceeded to talk to everyone that walked into the gym, wandered around, and left the weights at the bench without actually lifting any of them.  Classic move.

Second, we had the classic, work out in your work clothes.  Dude, just doing some reps in his golf shirt, khakis, and dress shoes.  No big deal.  I bet he's gonna smell great back at the office at 1 PM.

Finally, we had soccer jersey bro making his second appearance.  After lifting, I went upstairs to the cardio area, where there are the usual tread mills, ellipticals, stair climbers, etc, in addition to a track that encompasses the entire gym.  My man proceeds to do sprints on the track, looking absolutely ridiculous and I am convinced he thought that would impress the woman jogging on the track.  No doubt that he spotted her running while in the weight room and conceived this master plan.

So, as you head out of work, possibly to the gym.  Please wear actual work out attire, if you take weights off the rack, I suggest actually lifting them (a better work out than talking), and don't try to impress people with your sprinting skills unless your last name is Bolt.

-Big Ran

Watch Out for the Guns

I Don't See a Crime Here

You might want to steer clear of custodian closet at Oslo Middle School

An Oslo Middle School custodian accused of having booze in his lunch box and urinating in a closet might not be getting a gold star in coming days.

An Indian River County Sheriff's deputy last week contacted a school board employee who said she learned from the Oslo Middle assistant principal that a 51-year-old custodian had a bottle of alcohol in his lunch box, according to a recently released sheriff's report.

The custodian also is said to have urinated in the "custodian closet." The context of the report suggests the "custodian closet" does not contain rest room facilities, such as a commode.

The custodian also is reported to have "had an incident with a teacher in which he was slurring and saying inappropriate comments."

A custodian, sometimes known as a janitor or maintenance person, typically is charged with ensuring clean conditions at a facility and completing other grounds and related tasks.

A plastic Powerade bottle that was about three quarters full of apparent alcohol reportedly was found in the custodian's lunch box.

A sheriff's investigator took two samples of the liquid to be tested for alcohol.

The case is listed as active.

Check out the reporter,Will Greenlee, on his high horse.  Hey Willy, how about you take off your white wig and quit judging others.  How about you come down from that ivory tower of yours, huh?  

"A custodian, sometimes known as a janitor or maintenance person, typically is charged with ensuring clean conditions at a facility and completing other grounds and related tasks."

Oh, word?  Willy, don't hold your breath for the New York Times or Washington Post to call.  No wonder print media is dying/dead.

If you had to put up with middle schoolers and those uppity educators all day while you were mopping up pee and throwing saw dust on puke, trust me, you'd be taking a few nips too.  And so what if he took a leak in his storage closet.  He's the janitor, he can clean it up.  I've peed in bottles before, no biggie.  You gotta do what you gotta do.  Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

-Big Ran

Lunchtime Look-a-Like

I have to give my boss credit for today's installment of "Lunchtime Look-a-Like". Thanks dude! I got home from work last night and logged on to my email a little later to send him an email about a report I had to run. Somewhere during that email thread, I received the following picture and was inspired to use it for today's post:

Yup! It's just what you think! Flava Flav & Spike (I don't know why it says 'Stripe' in the picture, because that's wrong) from Gremlins. Pretty good, right? Now, I usually don't find animated characters and human beings to be doppelgangers (the only exceptions being Boston Mayor Tom Menino & Fred Flinstone and the CEO of my company and the "Empire Carpet Man"), but this takes the cake. I guess it's not a surprise because F squared has always seemed more like a cartoon than a real person anyway. Sadly, truth be told, I'd rather snuggle up to Spike than Flav any day....I don't think Spike could transmit as many diseases....

The teeth, the crazed looks, the wiry bodies and of course the Viking hat compared to the Gremlin's ears make them dead ringers. I have a sneaking suspicion that Spike is slightly more stable and better behaved than his twin though.



I hope he remembers that should he run into Spike, he should never, ever feed him after midnight---not even his delicious fried chicken.....he should also never get him wet, but judging by how filthy Flav looks, I'm sure bath times are few and far between, if at all.

-KC Jones

Everyone Makes Mistakes....

So, one of my favorite bands is Linkin Park, and truthfully, there are very few songs of theirs that I do not like. And when bands that I like do covers of other people's songs, I tend to really enjoy those as well. However,  they can make a mistake every once in a while and this proves it for sure! I was horrified to discover that LP did a cover of Adele's song "Rolling in the Deep". While I LOVE Adele's version of her song, I felt like I was being punked as I was watching Chester and the boys cover it.....

The Real Version:


The Cover:


This was a failure of epic proportions for so many reasons. First of all, the whole subject of the song is better suited for a female artist (and that is why it's Adele's song). Secondly, this is Linkin Park, they are a ROCK band and should not EVER attempt anything besides rock, alternative or rap (listen to the "Collision Course" CD where they performed w/ Jay-Z if you want proof that they are legit rappers as well)---ESPECIALLY NOT DRAMATIC CHICK POP MUSIC! Who let this happen? And whoever did 'ok' this should be fired.

I know Big Ran is going to think Adele's version is stupid anyway, but from an objective perspective it is good music. Anyway, the moral of the story is this: Dear Linkin Park, please stick to what you do best---awesome alt/rock music....This is a completely random post, but I just wanted to get it out there...Here's one of my favorites for your listening pleasure...



*Big Ran Note:  Contrary to KC's belief that I don't like Adele, she is as Dave Chappelle would say, one of the most ballinist motha f*ckas out there.  She has got some serious pipes and I dig the songs I have heard on the radio.  But man oh man, that was a bad decision by Linkin Park, that was f*cking brutal.  I am not the worlds biggest Linkin Park fan, but The Black Keys could have done that cover and I would have thrown up the chicken burrito I ate at 10:45 this morning.  Don't jusdge me, I was freaking starving.  Plus, I'm going to the gym, so get off my d!ck.

*KC's Comment: I am very happy to find out that Big Ran recognizes Adele's talent....however, we ARE going to have to work on his appreciation for Linkin Park.... and Chicken Burritos are the BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS, no doubt!

Stuck in My Head

Pretty catchy jam, especially when you are pumped to be driving to work (who isn't?).  I remember when this came out in '96 and people had serious Metallica wood for like a year.  Kind of a weird album cover and name, "Load."  Heheheheheheheeh.

Remember when the music industry started going apesh!t about illegally downloading music (the only way to download it in the late 90s)?  Well, Lars Ulrich, the Metallica drummer was a major force behind that and I remember hating him and thinking he was such a douche.  But, I mean, I get it.  The dude writes almost all of their songs and he didn't want to get totally ripped off (the record companies do a good enough job of screwing artists).  I just think it's tough to get behind a dude that looks like such a weasel:

I don't care what Carson Kressley says, scarves on dudes are not a good look.

-Big Ran