Hey errbody! So I am on vacation this week and had a little date night with Mrs. Big Ran last night. We went to dinner, then saw "Harry Potter 8: The Revenge." I have seen all the Harry Potter movies, not because I am some creepy dude who lives in his Mom's basement (just an aside, the thought of not having a mortgage to pay, makes that pretty appealing), but because I have seen all of them since I got married.
Anyway, I saw the last movie in the theater whenever it was out (last summer? Just researched it, last summer is correct), so I figured I would remember all the things I would need for this latest edition.
Wrong. I had no idea what was going on in the first 30 minutes of this movie. Not that it wasn't well done, I just have the information retention of a four year old. Anyway, I always expect more out of these movies, but it seems to always come down to Harry and that snake-faced dude shooting lasers out of their wands at each other until someone or something gets blowed out. They need more car chases.
Also, this is what I have never understood: Harry Potter is the man in these movies, right? This dude should be balls deep in witch pussy. ALL THE TIME. There is a scene in the movie where he and his buddies go back to their old wizard school and you can see these chicks want a piece of his meat wand. Nothing. Then (SPOILER ALET), after he kills the snake-faced dude, he walks back through the school, which is in ruins, but he should be a conquering hero and have wizard chicks at his beck and call. That's my problem with this movie. In real life, Harry wouldn't settle for that super average red head, he'd be casting spells on big breasted British chicks. I would see that movie.
On the ride home from the movie, I said this (well, some of it) to my wife. She had a lot of great reasons why he wouldn't do that and I realized two things:
1. She pays way more attention to the details of a story/movie more than I do.
2. I definitely have some demented thoughts that run through my head and pretty much come up with my own plot while watching a movie.
So, I give this move 3 out of 5 stars. It would have been 4 if he hooked up with a bunch of chicks.
-Big Ran
