Stuck In My Head

Year round, I find the following song "Stuck In My Head". However, with Christmas less than a week away, I figure this is a very appropriate post for right now. This might be one of my favorite songs of all time....no, not my favorite Christmas song, but one of my favorite songs PERIOD (just ask anyone unfortunate enough to have been at my house this past weekend!). The song is great, but I think the video is what really does it for me and cements its place as the best  4 minutes and 38 seconds in history. Pay attention to the singing, the stress on the 's' sounds, and everything that is going on in the video, because I won't be able to adequately comment on all of it. So, without further adieu, I'd like to present , "Wham!'s", "Last Christmas" with my running commentary:



The first 17 seconds really set the mood and provides an appropriate setting for a song about Christmas.

Seconds 19-32- the longest 'waving' sequence in history, accompanied by some of the most stylish cold weather clothing of the early 1980's, including the first appearance of George Michael's warm winter hat....it looks so fluffy and warm...oh wait, that's his hair? Yesssssssss....

Seconds 33 through the one minute mark; an awkward eye exchange between G-Mike and the "Lady in Red"...followed by more holiday greetings, awesome coats, and even more awesome hairstyles. Away we go on the monorail! Is this Disney World or The Alps?

1:00-1:50- Again, what festive scenery, and what huge duffel bags! Nice tinsel scarf George! Uh oh, another awkward interaction between our boy and the lady now in mustard. And, the creepiest spoken word/sung vocals on the track, the whispered, "Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it, with a note saying I love you I meant it"....this line coincides PERFECTLY with the shot of the 'merry' grown man carrying in a stack a wood a toddler could easily handle all while having tinsel thrown at him playfully by other grown men, all of whom have luxurious mullets as well! Apparently this lady is a bit of tramp as she is with another man this Christmas...must be why they brought her on the trip! 

1:50- Frolicking in the snow! YAY! 1:55 is something I wish I could get framed for my living room. I can't distinguish between his hair and the actual trim of the hood he is sporting.

2:00- I'm so confused. Why is a cake with sparklers making an appearance? I thought this was a song about Christmas, not about the 4th of July?  Look at all the hair in this video and all of the outrageous wardrobe choices. So many sweaters, so many putrid colors, so many fun activities, and SO many serious conversations (George isn't f-ing around at the 2:20 mark!). So, clearly, there's a 'situation' here and he's clearly recollecting his "Lasssssst Chrissssstmasssssssss" with her from the other end of the table. Luckily, her perfectly styled, triangular shaped hairdo is protecting her from his intense stare. And then she has to start playing with 'the pin'....clearly what he must have sent with the note! It's all coming together now just in time for the flashback to "Last Christmas" at the 3 minute mark!

3:00- Who plays in the snow with full length wool dress coats? Also, who has better hair, him or her? This might be why they ended up breaking up! Guess we have to continue watching to know for sure....and 3:15...BINGO! The pin! What girl DOESN'T want a nice piece of costume jewelry to adorn her lapel? One mystery solved! I also have no idea where they are all walking to in the snow, but I do know that I'm LOVING the woman who is wearing a coat that looks like a couch.

And the video ends the same way it began...and I'm left sitting here, having to draw my own conclusions. So, I'll do my best:

She obviously dumped him because of the horribly tacky gift he presented to her OR he dumped her when he realized that she was all hugged up with one of his friends. Most likely, it was the first scenario. Then, his friend doesn't subscribe to the age old "Bros Before Hoes" mantra and snatches up George's sloppy seconds.  Either that, or she caught a glimpse of George in the "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" video and realized her legs couldn't compete with his when wearing hot pants.



Whatever the case, I am left confused but so thankful that a group like Wham! existed during my childhood. These songs are the soundtrack of my life and although they are wishing us a Merry Christmas and extending a "Thank You" at the end of the video, it is us who owe them a sincere "Thank You".

P.S. There will be a future post about "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" during which I will be looking for suggestions as to why George was wearing a "Choose Life" T-Shirt. I simply cannot disrespect either of these masterpieces by not giving each of them their OWN post.

P.P.S. Was Wham! ever really a group? George never needed Andrew Ridgeley, did he?

P.P.P.S: If you don't like Wham!, I don't like you and you belong on a Terror Watch List.

-KC Jones

Fat Guy in a Little.....Car....

So, law enforcement is concerned with texting and driving, talking and driving, drinking and driving, and with all forms of distracted driving. These are all valid concerns and should be taken seriously. However, I think it's time someone called attention to another dangerous trend that's been flying (or, in this case, driving) under the radar for far too long. I'm not sure of the technical term, or if there is one yet, but it has to do with people driving the wrong sized vehicles for their bodies.

Yup! You read that correctly! Lately, I have noticed a ridiculous amount of large people jammed into compact vehicles such as PT Cruisers, Volkswagen Beetles, and Smart Cars, while, on the other hand, I have noticed many small people (barely) peering over the dashboards of Escalades, F-150's, and other SUVs. What is going on with this?

First of all, it's hilarious. I love seeing a short man pulling himself up into the seat of a large truck using all of his upper body strength. And then, 9 times out of 10, he gets on the road and starts driving like a complete a-hole, further proving he is suffering from a debilitating case of the Napoleon complex. And tiny little women driving huge SUVs?? Come on ladies! Do you actually want to give the dreaded, "Damn women drivers!" insult validity? Because you're doing a good job when you're behind the wheel of a vehicle that you can barely navigate without sitting on a few phone books while pulling all sorts of muscles as you strain to reach the brake pedal.

On the other end of the spectrum, and possibly even funnier are the large people who pour themselves into tiny cars. I kid you not- I'm leaving the gym the other day, and this large(tall and just all around big) man is leaving at the same time. He is shimmying his very large frame into a PT Cruiser. Ok, so once he finally gets in there, I'm wondering: 1. How is he getting out?, 2. If there's an accident and the airbag deploys, will he be decapitated?, and 3. Is he bald because his head is constantly rubbing against the roof of the car as he drives? I've been noticing this particular scenario more and more lately. Maybe it's because people are being more cost conscious and trying to use less gas....but they are forgetting a nice Honda Accord or Toyota Camry would allow very respectable MPG numbers while giving them room to move around while avoiding the risk of having their circulation cut off by a seat belt that fits more like a vice than a safety harness.

Just a quick little post to address this concern. I think the drivers in both cases are missing the point; to look smaller, get a larger vehicle...and to look bigger, get a smaller vehicle. It's kind of  like with clothing; if you want to look smaller, you're not going with the big, loud prints.....

By the way, am I the only person who thinks of this clip when seeing these types of situations?




P.S. People who drive "Smart" Cars should be exiled from all major roadways, but that's another topic for a future post.

-KC Jones