Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Irrational Rant...My Metabolism
I remember seeing "Big Daddy" and thinking this line was funny, now it's just the truth. Dudes, I hit 30 and I think the warranty expired on my body. My back got f'd up, and if I have a weekend of drinking/eating, I can literally feel my love handles and man boobs growing. Honestly, yesterday my shirts were tight. Pants I get, but shirts? Really?
Also, on that note, why is every shirt sold now "slim fit?" When I was 26 I could rock the slim fit, but its not doing me any favors anymore. Have clothing companies seen Americans? We're not slim fit, we need doughy fit. Loose fabric is our friend. So, please, can't they make the early thirties slightly out of shape fit? That would be awesome. I would buy that.
-Big Ran
Happy Belated Father's Day!
The fact that this is on the heels of the Daniel Pintauro post is 100% coincidental.
-Big Ran
Today in "Is This Real Life?"
Hey, remember "Who's the Boss?" Remember Angel's son, Joshua? Well that dude now sells Tupperware.
Welcome to Daniel Pintauro's site |
Step aside Angela Bower! Danny Pintauro is here to party with you like its 2011 and show you that Tupperware is still here, still sexy, innnovative, and not just in your grandmother's kitchen! Get ready America! Its time to treat yourself to plastic crap that will make your life easier and more colorful!
I am suddenly re-energized by Tupperware. It's SEXY AND INNOVATIVE!
Here's some classic TV right here. Joshua decides to get into gymnastics...
-Big Ran
PS: Tony was out as sh!t when he was sliding into home in the intro.
Buck Nasty's Mama Gets Busted
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. (WCCO) – A 46-year-old woman pleaded guilty Monday to hiding a stolen mink coat in her underwear.
Stephanie Moreland was arrested New Year’s Eve by Bloomington Police after the Alaskan Fur Company reported a short mink coat was stolen by a woman who had been in the store and acting suspiciously.
Moreland pleaded guilty to one count of felony theft of property. Police say she hid the mink coat in her underwear for three days while being questioned by police in jail.
The coat was valued at $6,500.
According to police, a sales associate accused Moreland of taking the coat, but she denied it and took off. The sales associate took down Moreland’s license plate number and called police. When police located the car a short time later, they found the coat’s hanger but no coat.
They searched Moreland for weapons and booked her into jail for the weekend on possible theft charges. Three days later, a detective interviewed Moreland who admitted she stole the coat but claimed she had already sold it.
When the investigator informed Moreland he would be sending her to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, he was shocked when she lifted up her dress and pulled out the mink coat from her underwear.
“She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front,” said Bloomington Police Commander Mark Stehlik, at the time of the incident.
Moreland’s sentencing has been set for Aug. 8.
First of all, by now, you know that whenever I get the chance for a random Chappelle Show clip/reference, I'm going to put it in there. Second of all, this is one of many reasons why I could never be a cop. I mean, if you go into this interrogation room, you know and she knows that there's a fur coat in her underwear. However, I'll be damned if I'm fishing around in her drawers for $6,500 is straight cash, never mind a mink.
-Big Ran
PS: Anyone heard about Chappelle bringing a show to web tv? He denies it, but I would pay to have that back on; one iof the best shows of all time.
Back in the Saddle!
OK, we've been gone for a few days, I was partying with the Bruins at Foxwoods.
We'll try to bring some entertainment today. No promises on the quality.
-Big Ran
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